Do you think we grow in wisdom or just decrepitude as we age?

Predictably, I like being my age and find the balance between wisdom, humor,and humility and aches, creaks and fatigue is a felicitous one.

I live in a sub-culture within the US and in my culture the elders are the most respected of anyone. I certainly believe that elders grow in wisdom (even if there is some decrepitude). I also find it really hard to deal with when people from the majority culture don’t treat elders with respect. To me it is nasty not to do so. I absolutely hate the prevailing theme of treating elders as children or as if they are less worthy in society. Ick!

I don’t know that I’m quite old enough to comment on my own aging process however.

Not surprisingly, I feel much as the ever-wise @gailcalled. I have had the experience of seeing old friends and thinking to myself, “Gosh, they have aged.” I knew, intellectually, that we must have to0, but don’t see us that way in mind’s eye.

I sometimes find the physical deterioration a drag. Recently, as I slowly recover (it’s been two weeks tomorrow) from a sinus infection, I have felt as if I can’t remember when I wasn’t thinking about something hurting. That is a drag.

Meanwhile, I can really relate to what you wrote about the mix of pluses and minuses. I had to mourn the loss of my memory. It went from encyclopedia to I need to write things down now. My improved self esteem has made me more relaxed, which I view as an improvement.

I also appreciate the lack of striving exchanged for being more present. I guess I see that being comfortable where I am is the best way for me.

@RedPowerLady I was thinking of the way elders are treated as wise ones in other cultures. It’s great to hear that they still are in yours.

I agree completely with you Marina. I wouldn’t trade the self-esteem I have now for any amount of youth. My body is still in pretty good working order but I do miss the agility of my memory….

Some poets view their final years with a kind of Zen-like calm.

“Not soon, as late as the approach of my ninetieth year,
I felt a door opening in me and I entered the clarity of early morning,”

wrote Czeslaw Milosz in “Late Ripeness.

I’m not close to that yet but I grok it !!

Poems on aging are rarely jubilant, but there are those that cast old age in a more tender light. The twelfth-century Chinese poet, Lu Yu, offers this portrait of the old man in his poem

“Written in a Carefree Mood”:

Old man pushing seventy,
In truth he acts like a little boy,
Whooping with delight when he spies some mountain fruits,
Laughing with joy, tagging after village mummers;
With the others having fun stacking tiles to make a pagoda,
Standing alone staring at his image in the jardinière pool.
Tucked under his arm, a battered book to read,
Just like the time he first set out to school. ”

…....... still not close…..... but I grok that as well !!

[..... check out grok in the wiki…........ and read the books(s) !! <g> ]

I work with mostly elderly patients, and I see such a range of functions and abilities. I have some in their mid-70s who are terribly intimidated by technology, and I have some in their 90s who only just reluctantly retired. One 93-year-old patient had fully researched hearing aids on the internet prior to coming in to see me – very refreshing.

Emotionally, I find that the relationships they have with their families and friends seems to make a huge difference in how content they seem to be. Still… I am told several times a day, “Don’t get old, Sweetie.” Some seem to fight it kicking and screaming and complain about how the “Golden Years” is a crock, while others take the attitude that “Growing old is a luxury given to few.” (one of my patients told me that – I don’t know whether she coined the phrase or whether it’s a quote).

The more I observe in my patients and my mother, who is now in her 70s (not to mention the changes I’ve already experienced now that I’m over 40), the more I realize that the old adage is true: If you don’t use it, you lose it. This goes for challenging our minds as well as our bodies. As children, we are constantly learning, in and out of school. We are also constantly moving – running, jumping, turning cartwheels, climbing trees, reading with our head hanging upside down off the end of the bed, and so on. As we get older, our lives become much more routinized. We literally go through the motions, day after day – so some systems become worn down from the repetition, while others atrophy from lack of use and stimulation.

So this past year, I’ve made it my goal to get out and have fun, to challenge myself to do the things I’d always talked myself out of for being to shy and self-conscious. First, I have gone to the gym, to improve my fitness, so I am better capable of handling adventures. I have challenged myself to get out and meet new people socially, as I had always been a wallflower. I have joined groups (which I found through Meetup.com) and I’ve gone hiking, kayaking, paintball battling, horseback riding, zip-lining, to museums and plays and concerts, trying new cuisines, charitable work and fund-raising. Sadly, skydiving was cancelled because of rain. This was the best and busiest Spring and Summer of my life!

I plan to continue to try to challenge my self and trying new events and activities, and to keep improving my fitness. I have met so many great new people (including you, Jan!) and made real friends, and have done some dating, as well. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one, so I am going out and making the most of today. And doing what I can to prepare for a better tomorrow.

Wow, @hearkat! Lurve and a kiss! That was a great answer and a wonderful attitude to express.

Let’s go skydiving soon! (Or maybe just a walk.)

Are those my only two choices? Well, you gotta know me well enough by now to predict that if I get two choices like that, I’m going with the less desirable one.

Mmmmm. Decrepitude! Sounds a little ridiculous, doesn’t it? De-creep-ih-tood. Like maybe I’m getting the “creep” taken out of me? Although it also reminds me of pulchritude, which is another thing altogether.

As far as wisdom is concerned, I can’t make any great generalization. Sure, some people make something of their experience, and you might call them wise.

But what is this question really about? Obviously some people get wiser, and most get more decrepit. Is there a dialectic here? Are we really talking about how many people get wiser vs just grow more decrepit?

Personally, I think that our desires with respect to these things play an important role. DO you want to slow down? Do you think you should slow down? Do you fight slowing down? Since I’ve turned 50, I’ve learned a couple of new dives (half gainer, and gainer), and I’ve expanded my repertoire of jumps I know. I used to only know the waltz jump (which is the basis for the axel). Now I know how to do (even if I can’t pull them off) Salchows, toe loops, and lutzes.

I am inordinately proud of this. For me, it’s fighting off the decrepitude that is happening in so many other ways. I get more back aches. I have high blood pressure. I’m mentally ill. My hands shake. My scalp is constantly itchy and on and on. You coulc light the city from the amount of gas emanating from my tush. I’m weaker than I was and grow more so with each passing day.

On the other hand, I do finally seem to have lost a pound or two. I ride my bike about fifty miles per week. I can still carry 500 pounds of old computers and televisions down four flights of stairs. I can put in six air conditioners in the spring and take them back out again in the fall.

I can’t say anything about wisdom, since that’s not for me to say. On the other hand, it does seem to me that most other people seem to make better choices as they get older and have more experience. They also seem to be able to offer better advice as a result of all that experience.

The two (wisdom and decrepitude) are not mutually exclusive. And I’m still unsure as to what the question is really about. So that’s all I have to say about that!

Well the ideal situation, as I see it, would be to know what I know now but have the body I had then.

Guy on Actor’s Studio recently replied when asked the standard question of what would you like to hear St. Peter say when you reach the pearly gates and his response was, “here’s the key, come and go as you please.” Sounds good to me.

I am 65 and I believe too in the use it or lose it theory. I am still going pretty good. I am swimming instead of running at the moment because I have a sore knee. I think it is wearing out from over use!

@janbb: Hopefully we’ll have a couple more days of Indian Summer in the next few weeks. Tomorrow I am going to the Grounds for Sculpture, but maybe on one of the upcoming weekends.

The biggest lesson I have learned on this topic is that age is relative, relative to one’s own age and one’s experience with older people. As a child, I thought that anyone older than 20 was old, even teenagers seemed really grown up. One of the most asked questions of my childhood must have been “Mum, what was it like in the olden days ?” my god, the poor woman was only in her late 20s or early 30s!. I now find myself in my late 40s to be quite truthful, I will only be able to say I’m in my 40s for another six months and have plenty of friends who are in their 50s & 60s and one close friend who will be 72 at the end of the year; none of these people could be classified as the least bit old. I think I would have to agree with those who are now saying 70 is the new 50.having said all this, I am not exactly excited about the prospect of turning 50! Oh well, I shall get used to it, I think

Having a long-term relationship with somebody 23 years my senior helped me view age from a different perspective

If you ask me, the former, if you ask my younger children, the latter. My older children are starting to sway their vote, like a rigged Afghanistan election.

Some do, some don’t. It only stands to reason that more experience we have more likely we will be able to solve the issues of daily living. Some people keep making the same mistakes over and over and never learn, so it doesn’t apply to them.

What is wisdom? Is it being highly educated and knowledgeable about various fields of academics? Or is it more about life experiences and the way the world works? It could be either, or both. Some people have one of the two, some have both and many have neither.

But, growing in wisdom depends on how people choose to live their lives. If you want to gain wisdom as you get older, you probably can and will. Others just grow older without really “growing up” – I’ve met plenty of older people who still act like stupid teenagers. Man, that’s frustrating.

At the same time, it must be hard to recognize wisdom in elders. Youth and newness is given a huge amount of importance today, and older people, like outdated technology, are often cast aside. Some older people do all they can to fight against this idea of being “outdated,” whether they get Botox treatments or act like their teenage children/grandchildren. In my opinion, that just leads to older people being mocked and emphasizing the stereotype that disregards our elders as “senile old people.” To me, the wisest people I have known have accepted their age but kept their youthful spirit in deeper ways.

as you get older, you have more knowledge, but you may be slower to recall it.
there’s some fancy terms for the different kinds of knowledge that different ages tend to have the most of, but i can’t remember them.

it depends on your perception of wisdom, anywho.