Social Question

Gossamer's avatar

Should your S/O allow you to have one affair per year?

Asked by Gossamer (935points) December 18th, 2009

Would it cut down on cheating spouses if they were allowed to have one affair a year? Would they be more picky on who it was with?

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24 Answers

EgaoNoGenki's avatar


can’t stop laughing

AnnieB's avatar

No. I would be bothered that he would be okay with me having an affair.

I don’t believe it will cut down on cheating spouses. If they’re willing to cheat, they’re going to cheat, whether their spouse allows it or not.

Kelly_Obrien's avatar

No. More affairs than one should be mandated for blissful wedded contentment.

flameboi's avatar

where can I find S/O like that???
Mine would kill me :P

Vunessuh's avatar

I would never be in a relationship where my spouse allowed me to cheat or wanted to do so himself once a year.
However, it really isn’t any of my business what other marriages choose to do. If it works for them, go for it I suppose.
But once a year will easily turn into once a month.
I think there’s a word for that. Oh yeah, swinging.

whatthefluther's avatar

You are kidding, right?
See ya…..Gary/wtf

HumourMe's avatar

I don’t think you should be with your significant other if they want to have an affair at least once a year, simple as that.

SuperMouse's avatar

I am not the least bit interested in having an affair. Being given the option to have one a year would shock and offend me and make me wonder what an SO who put that idea on the table is up to.

grumpyfish's avatar

You have to realize that the type of folks have have affairs are generally the type who would have the one sanctioned affair per year, along with other non-sanctioned ones.

Cotton101's avatar

LMAO….love those answers!

G my answer is NO!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think that wouldn’t work for couples that want monogamy
and for those that don’t need monogamy, allowing or not allowing isn’t something we’re into…our partners are individuals and can decide for themselves

daemonelson's avatar

Not likely. Especially with me considering cheating to be just about the most abhorrent thing you can do in a relationship.

Yeah, probably not such a good idea.

Gossamer's avatar

Thank you all for your wonderful input…and by the way my answer is no as well…I could not bring myself to that humiliating moment of having an affair!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Gossamer well if you’re ‘allowing’ the affair, is it still an affair?

dalepetrie's avatar

Only if you’re going to allow your spouse to have one a year as well, and I suspect that would be the harder part, imagining what your spouse was doing with someone else. If an open relationship works for both of you, great, but nah…I don’t really think you can contract for that kind of thing within an otherwise monogamous marriage. Plus I tend to think that when people cheat, they for the most part don’t go out looking for an affair, it just finds them. A person who respects his or her spouse and is deeply committed enough to doing the right thing instead of just the most pleasurable thing would reject temptation no matter how strong. A person who goes looking for temptation probably should never have gotten married in the first place (and likely wouldn’t have).

Gossamer's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir a point very well pointed out…I thought the same thing myself!

Allie's avatar

I’d still consider it cheating even if it were “allowed.” He’d be cheating on me and also be cheating when it came to the vows he claimed he’d uphold. Also, I could never imagine “allowing” my husband to do something like that. If he didn’t want to be with me then maybe he shouldn’t have married me. I also hope that I don’t pick someone like that to be with for the rest of my life.

downtide's avatar

Only if both people entered into the relationship knowing and agreeing that it was to be an open relationship, and only if you allow the same freedom to your S/O to have affairs of their own. Otherwise it’s just cheating.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Allie at least for me, being with others has nothing to do with not being satisfied or happy with my husband

Zen_Again's avatar

Maybe. Maybe. GQ

Allie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir If that’s something you and your husband have come to an agreement over then great, I’m glad you’ve found an arrangement that works for you. Personally, I wouldn’t want my husband to go and sleep with other people and I wouldn’t want to sleep with other people besides him.

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