Is there a doctor in the house?

Seriously, there seem to be an awful lot of doctors here. And I ask you, are you a real doctor, or are you a love doctor? What field of expertise are you a doctor of? Under what situation would you be just the right man (or woman) for the job? Can I safely ignore your advice on strange rashes or will I be forced to live with the terrible consequences of my hubris until it deals me a merciful death?