Social Question

theveteran's avatar

Am shy and just socialize with fellow boys. What is way to approach girls?

Asked by theveteran (40points) April 22nd, 2010


Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

20 Answers

mowens's avatar

What do you say to guys when you socialize with them?

marinelife's avatar

Talk to them the same way that you talk to other guys.

MorenoMelissa1's avatar

I would suggest starting out with a genioune compliment and building on a common interest. You’ll soon find your shyness fading.

theveteran's avatar

@mowens just the usual boy stuff

mary84's avatar

Depends on how old you are, but like others have already said, talk to them the same way you talk to boys. Secondly, a good way of approaching people when you’re shy is to start off by asking questions. Next time you see a girl you’d like to get to know better, find something in common, a common interest or hobby, anything you both can relate to, to talk about. If at uni, ask her about homework, class you’re taking, anything, if you know she’s interested in golf, ask her something about golf. If you meet her at a party, ask her how she knows the host etc etc.
Don’t be afraid to pull a joke. Laugh, relax and have fun. :)

mowens's avatar

Just don’t think about it. If you think about it, you’ll have time to think of dumb shit to say. If you don’t think… you wont have time to think of dumb shit to say.

Trust me… not dwelling over it works. Man up, grow a testicle or two, and just say hi. Just keep asking questions about them in a non-creepy way.

Bad way to compliment her breasts:
Asking her what size her boobs are

Good way to compliment her boobs:
Telling her you really like the shirt she is wearing.

Bad way to say she has a nice ass:
You have a nice ass.

Good way to say she has a nice ass:
I really like those pants. Where did you get them?

If she is reading a book, ask her about the book, and ask if she likes it. Just get her to talk. Girls love to talk about themselves, and they love to be listened to. Don’t ruin it by telling her about you. Not yet. You need to be a mystery. She has to realize… wait, you know everything about me, but I dont know anything about you!

Even then… don’t give in. Make jokes… be funny, even if they arent funny you get points for trying.

Attraction is unattractive. Don’t appear too attracted to her, it looks desperate and it is a major turn off.

silverfly's avatar

Girls like confidence. Try to just feel good about yourself and be brave! Say hi, talk about homework, what you guys like to listen to, movies, etc. Give it time and practice.

Girls really aren’t that scary; they’re just the only ones that make us boys crap ourselves with a single word.

Steve_A's avatar

Guys and girls both seem to forgot that at the end they are just people too. It’s a good idea to remember that.I use to be the same way, but what I did was stop making a big deal about it and talk.

Because if you make it a big deal, it becomes one.

rebbel's avatar

Don’‘t approach them from behind and yell: “Booh!”

roundsquare's avatar

Go somewhere where you can be relatively sure you have a common interest and use that.

chamelopotamus's avatar

Youll find a girl who is like you, and itll be a natural thing to talk to her. Then shell have friends, and you can talk to them, and feel more comfortable with the idea.

evandad's avatar

This is not something you can learn on a website.

Trillian's avatar

What is…“kiss”?

Zaku's avatar

Walk slowly towards them and hold your arms out like to give them a hug, until one of them doesn’t move away and lets you hug her. ;-)

TogoldorMandar's avatar

Well first approach a girl in a public area (malls) . It seems then that they feel comfortable so will you. Well its always good to approach a girl when she is standing with her friends.
they sometimes can be a great help.

wundayatta's avatar

Find activities in groups that include girls. Participate in them and slowly get to know the girls in non-threatening situations. You can easily have conversations about whatever the group is doing. Maybe, over time, you’ll come to like a girl and she’ll come to like you, but that’s not really the goal. The goal is just to socialize and talk, as you said.

mattbrowne's avatar

Good English skills.

Kodewrita's avatar

@mattbrowne English?!! not so so important. I have seen guys with less knowledge of grammar walk up to really beautiful ladies and in five minutes the ladies are laughing, touching and giving playful punches. Its all about your confidence anyway.

I used to be real shy (still a bit shy) but I can tell you its just like any other thing in life. you have to build momentum steadily and things DO get better with practice. Just start small and KEEP moving. you could start with greeting lots of them and then move on to actually discussing with them

Just a secret: I found out that I kind of become less scared once I am in front of the lady concerned (its too late to run and I might as well make the most of it). Sometimes I deliberately place myself right there to ensure I would not slink off and go hiding somewhere.

If the conversation doesnt go well, make sure you dont kill your own inner self by making silent derisive comments at yourself. You tried. Thats better than the rest.

mattbrowne's avatar

Some men look for something deeper than playful punches.

Kodewrita's avatar

@mattbrowne we all do. I was just illustrating the point. Boldness makes up for a lot of defects though not all.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther