Social Question

Storybooklover's avatar

To SOs who live together, how do you sleep at night ?

Asked by Storybooklover (278points) May 9th, 2010

I am a tosser and a turner. I steal the blankets, I hog the bed. I try my best to leave room for my husband, but all bets are off once I am asleep. We’ve been married almost two years and living together for longer. We finally agreed to use separate blankets. I just don’t see how you can ever adjust to sleeping with someone else when you’ve slept alone for the most part of you’re life. How do you share bed space and get a good night rest and how long did it take to finally adjust ?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

We have our sides of the bed – I’m always on the left and I always sleep tummy down with a pillow between my legs. He always sleeps on top of me with his arm and leg curled on top of my body and his head somewhere in my upper back. That’s how we fall asleep anyway. Throughout the night he’ll go to the infant once he wakes up and spend early morning there on the other bed. I then take up the entire space and enjoy that as well. So I equally enjoy him on top me and sleeping alone.

Sophief's avatar

I could never imagine sleeping alone again. I am on the right he is on the left, we have the same duvet, I don’t really see a problem?

wonderingwhy's avatar

King size bed + separate blankets = a good nights sleep.

After so many years of sleeping with someone I actually find it odd when I’m the only one in the bed, though after the first night it’s sort of nice having it all to myself again. But the separate blanket thing has always worked, previous g/f’s, my wife – in all sorts of positions, all sorts of conditions, it never failed me.

One thing that also helps, in the winter my wife steals the blankets, separate or not, at times. I’ve taken to keeping an extra comforter next to the bed within arms reach, helps keep everyone cozy and happy.

Draconess25's avatar

I share a twin-size bed with 2 girls (one weighs twice as much as me). Here’s our arrangement:

I have my head on Ellie’s stummy, chest, or back. Rachel either sleeps on the edge, or snuggled in between us (depensing on what she feels like). They like freezing their nipples off, so I get all the blankets.

susanc's avatar

Big bed, and we always used just the middle. However we fell asleep, we’d wake up back-to-back like a Rorshach test, very symmetrical. I think this is an older people’s positioning, see above.

Facade's avatar

We first started sleeping together in my twin bed at college, and that went fine. It’s roses from there.

Seaofclouds's avatar

We usually spoon for a bit and then either once I’m aslep or once my husband’s knee starts to hurt, he’ll change positions (usually to on his stomach). I steal the covers and then he steals them back. We always have some part of our bodies touching (even if it’s just our feet). It was so hard getting use to sleeping without him when he left for this deployment.

john65pennington's avatar

I have never told this to a soul, but its a logical solution to a very bad sleeping situation.

After being married and sleeping in the same bed for 30 years, my wife contracted a sleep disorder or sleep apnea. she can doze for 3 minutes and its like 8 hours of sleep for her. she would turn on the tv and i stayed awake for the next eight hours. i was a zombie going to work. we both knew we had to make a change in our sleeping habits, for my health sake.

After much discussion, we decided that separate bedrooms was our only choice, if we were to stay married. this was 14 years ago. this does not mean we do not love and have our affectionate time together. we do. i am a much healthier person for the change and she takes Lanesta for her sleep disorder. we are very happy together and its really not changed anything in our marriage. once we both understood the problem and could come to an agreeable conclusion, it works like a charm for us.

ucme's avatar

Spoons!

MissAusten's avatar

My husband and I can’t sleep without touching each other in some way. We start out all cuddled up, and whenever I wake up in the middle of the night we at least still have our legs draped over each other. If one of us gets up to take care of a crying child or use the bathroom, we both end up awake and start cuddling all over again. The only time we don’t cuddle is during the hottest part of the summer, when even the window AC in our bedroom can’t keep up with the heat. It feels strange to go to sleep together without touching though, so usually our feet at least have to be in contact. :)

We have a king sized bed, so plenty of room. Neither of us steals blankets, snores, or tosses and turns. Well, sometimes I steal the blankets on purpose just because it’s funny. Sometimes I think of the stupid twin daybed I had when we were dating, and wonder how the hell we managed to sleep in that tiny thing. Then I remember the double bed we had when our daughter was born, and the two of us shared it with her and slept just fine!

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Since my injury in a car crash 6 years ago I can’t sleep in a bed.
When I try, I suffer horrible pain that I can’t get under control for days.

I sleep in an upholstered recliner with my neck in a stiff foam pillow to keep it from drooping which causes pain when I wake up.

My dear wife sleeps in our bed with my chair beside it.

We do get together in the bed from time to time but it is a less than ideal an arrangement.

casheroo's avatar

I currently sleep in bed with a two month, he stays cradled in my arms, and then my almost three year old falls asleep in bed with me and we transfer him to his own bed. My husband and I only cuddle if there’s no kids in the bed, or if the little one is to my right (not in the middle)

Without the kids in bed, I usually keep my legs on top of or resting close to my husband. I don’t like feeling squeezed so we’ll cuddle but then fall asleep after we stop. I have trouble sleeping without him in bed with me, but that changes when I take any sleep I can get.

tedibear's avatar

It was difficult for us at first. I’m a tosser-turner and he’s a light sleeper. And because he doesn’t sleep well to start with, the tossing and turning made for more of a sleep detriment. We finally got a Tempurpedic mattress and it has made a world of difference. I’ve not tried jumping on it on one side with a glass of wine on the other like the commercial but the lack of motion transfer is grand! I have some back and hip issues – nothing major – and it has helped with that as well. This was not a paid endorsement!

Zaku's avatar

Cuddle up. Adjust when uncomfortable.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Cuddled. We start off with my face to his chest or under his chin and when it feels like one or the other is about to drift off then that person rolls onto their side and the other spoons. I can put him to sleep by rubbing his hip which is kind of fun when he says he can’t sleep, is cranky and thinks he wants to watch TV or game all night.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

We tend to stay on our own sides of the bed. I don’t like being cramped. I need space to put my legs up and curl into a ball. It’s worked for years and I have no complaints. Cuddling is for the couches while watching a movie. Beds are for sleeping.

tranquilsea's avatar

My hubby is a blanket stealer. I’ve learned to just tuck the blanket around me before I drift off. That works most of the time. There have been times when he has woken up and noticed that I’m sleeping with no blanket and he’ll tuck me in.

During the winter, when temperatures get down to -30c with wind chills of -45c, I have seriously considered sleeping in my own blanket. It sucks slowly being woken up because you are freezing cold.

YARNLADY's avatar

@casheroo awwwww, that’s us every week-end with the grandkids.

We gradually moved from a double bed when we were first married to a queen bed in the first house we owned, and finally an Eastern (wide) King the last 10 years. We bought a King bed for Sonny and wife when they moved into our rental house also. With a 1 yo and 3 yo it is now a family bed.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther