Social Question

diavolobella's avatar

What would be an effective, pithy statement against tailgating that would fit on a bumper sticker?

Asked by diavolobella (7925points) September 30th, 2010

I make a very long commute every day and I frequently see some alarming driving. Most often I witness drivers following other cars far too closely. I am sometimes tailgated myself and find it very alarming and stressful. Although those doing the tailgating may feel justified in their behavior for various reasons (i.e. they are in a hurry, they feel the person in front of them is going too slow or needs to get in the slow lane, etc.), it is against the law and endangers everyone on the road.

Frequently, I see drivers tailgating when one of their usual excuses wouldn’t even apply (tailgating someone in front of them in the fast lane when that person is actively passing slower traffic and is not yet in the clear to merge back into the right lane or rushing up on someone and then cutting around to pass them on the right without even giving them a moment to get over).

I have seen the aftermath of horrifying accidents caused by tailgating, some of which involved fatalities, and I feel sorry and frightened for anyone (including me) who has misfortune to be in front of someone who is late, angry or who is willing to use their vehicle as a weapon through which they channel their aggression.

While I have seen some anti-tailgating bumper stickers, I’ve never seen one which I thought made the point strongly or cleverly enough, without the use of profanity and that really expressed how supremely arrogant and selfish it is to genuinely endanger other people’s lives because you are in a rush.

So, my question is: If you could create a (non-profane) anti-tailgating bumper sticker, what would it say?

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32 Answers

Seek's avatar

Oh, non-profane? because I see one fairly often that makes me chuckle -

“If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair!”

There is another that says “If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you”.

A less violent one would be “Caution: I brake for red lights and pedestrians”

erichw1504's avatar

“The close you get… the slower I go”

erichw1504's avatar

“Don’t tailgate me or I’ll introduce you to my little bumper.”

Trillian's avatar

Back off Bitch!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

“It’s not smart (or wise) to tailgate a lawyer” (Other people in your office might want one as well.)

erichw1504's avatar

“Tailgate all you want, my brake lights aren’t working”

erichw1504's avatar

“Baby on board”

JilltheTooth's avatar

This car is not a dog. Quit sniffing my butt.

erichw1504's avatar

Just have small picture of Goatse so it can only be seen close up.

What has been seen, can’t be unseen.

diavolobella's avatar

Remember, I’m looking for ones that are not already out there. I’ve seen most of those and they aren’t what I’m looking for. I asked for non-profane because I’d rather not have profanity emblazoned on my car. (I save that for talking to me in person.. :) I’m also looking for something that really emphasizes the seriousness and danger involved, although humor isn’t totally off limits. Something that would really make a person who is tailgating stop and think,
(i.e. if you were the one tailgating, what would bring you up short?)

ucme's avatar

Beware : Karma has a wicked sense of humour.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@diavolobella I don’t think you can guarantee that a bumper sticker will make people really think, otherwise everyone whose ever put a political bumper sticker on their car would have converted thousands. I think the best you can do is remind those who are tailgating you without realizing it to back off.

diavolobella's avatar

@papayalily I’m not seeking a guarantee for the best bumper sticker. What I’m asking is for jellies here to consider if they were the tailgater (and were doing it intentionally), what sort of message might actually make them stop and (for lack of a better term) snap out of it. I’m asking individuals here to tell me what sort of message might make them think twice.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@diavolobella I don’t think most people tailgate on a conscious level – most people simply don’t realize that they’re tailgating. They know it’s dangerous, they know they’re risking their life, they just need a reminder to pay attention to how far back they are. I’ve found most of the one’s above effective in reminding me to leave more space (although the ones with really teeny writing just encourage me to get as close as possible to read it, and THEN back off).

diavolobella's avatar

@papayalily. I’d like to live where you do because the ones I see are very clearly doing it intentionally. That’s the thing. Maybe they aren’t consciously thinking that they can kill themselves and the person they are tailgating at that moment, but they have to be acutely aware how veryvery close they are to the person in front of them. That’s the connection I’m looking for. The thing that would make them go “Holy cr*p, what am I doing?” or think “Good grief, I need to get a grip. What would I do if I caused a wreck and killed someone just because I’m late for work?”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@diavolobella How do you know they do it intentionally? I’ve had some that where less than a foot off my bumper on the freeway that backed off when I tapped my breaks. Sometimes, they are intentionally that close, but they’re still forgetting the consequences.
It sounds like you’re looking for something that would make them stop and reexamine themselves, and that just isn’t out there. You can’t make someone look inside. Otherwise, wouldn’t we all have bumper stickers that got drunk drivers to think about their action and pull over till they sobered up? You can’t force change on another being.

Seek's avatar

One thing I have noticed is that people don’t tailgate people with prior accident damage on their cars.

Maybe you need to take a sledge hammer to your bumper. Make it look like you already brake-checked the last douche who dared to tailgate you. ^_^

diavolobella's avatar

@papayalily. When they are gesticulating, yelling and blowing their horn, it’s intentional. I’m not here to debate tailgaiting. I’m looking for suggestions. If you do not have any, that is fine. If you feel that it is not possible to find a slogan or reminder that might cause (not force) someone (not everyone, but some) to stop and think, then we will have to agree to disagree. I do feel that is possible and I’d like to hear suggestions from those here who also do and what they think those slogans might be.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@diavolobella You have. You vetoed them all.

downtide's avatar

I can’t think of a witty bumper-sticker but I always thought it would be a neat idea to rig up a switch with which you could turn on your brake lights without actually applying the brakes. That’ll stop them fast.

Plucky's avatar

Here are some I found:
“There are 2 types of tailgaters: The quick and the dead.”
“Would you still tailgate if you knew you were endangering my family?”
“Tailgate me so I can get my insurance money”
“For safety’s sake, please don’t tailgate”
“I hope your brakes work as well as mine”
“The end of life is just ahead, so why tailgate?”
“Please allow stopping distance”
“Only and idiot would follow me this close”
“Keep tailgating ..Momma/Daddy needs a new everything!”

This one may be too long but the message is good:
“I value our safety and reserve the right to slow down. This reduces the speed we are going in case of an event in which you rear end me. If I have a reasonable opportunity, I will happily move aside and let you rush past me. Have a safe day.”

And this one made me chuckle:
“Ha ha ..I’m ahead of you”

diavolobella's avatar

@papayalily I only vetoed the ones that have already been widely published on bumper stickers. I asked for NEW ONES from my fellow Jellies on this site. Their original thoughts. Please stop posting on my question just to try to start an argument with me.

diavolobella's avatar

PluckyDog. Those are great. I had not heard several of them before. Even though the last one is long, I really liked it.

diavolobella's avatar

@downtide. I’ve dreamed of that idea too! :)

sliceswiththings's avatar

@papayalily isn’t trying to start an argument. Not everyone knows what’s widely published, and people are contributing anything they can come up with.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I thought I’d made mine up

Haleth's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Ha! That’s true. I inherited my car from my sister, and she left a big dent in the trunk. Nobody tailgates me.

@diavolobella I tried thinking about this from the perspective of a tailgater. What would make me look inside myself? In the end, I think if I were stuck behind someone and in a hurry, any bumper sticker about tailgating would only make me more irritated. Bumper stickers are usually pretty trite, especially moralizing or “clever” ones. An agressive driver in a bad mood probably won’t change their behavior because of a bumper sticker that says you’re right and they’re wrong in under ten words. A tap on the break lights would probably be way more effective.

MeinTeil's avatar

“Sorry to drive so close in front of you”.

Jabe73's avatar

“Look at this idiot behind me.” This is a common one where I live. Ironically most of the drivers that have this one are the same idiots who tailgate themselves.

Trillian's avatar

What is the back bumper equivalent of this?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If you can read this better have an airbag; BREAKING HARD!

In 60 seconds I will have whiplash; got lawyer?

The closer you get to my tail the slower my vehicles goes.

I love the small of tailgate on the freeway, it smell like law suits.

What I like better than a tailgater is one with good insurance.

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