Social Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Ladies- do you appreciate a man who is 100% male yet has no fear in showing his softer side?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (22663 points ) October 18th, 2010

My husband is 100% Grade-A total man. A man’s man. He hunts and fishes and owns his own plumbing company where he gets his hands dirty every day. He watches sports on TV, and loves UFC fights. He’s got biceps that I just want to lick or bite, and a very nice body (no plumber crack). He sweats, he grunts when he’s working, he drinks beer.

BUT he cleans off that sweat with a combo of Zest soap and Japanese Cherry Blossom shower gel. He sings lullabies to our daughters when they’re upset. He likes a good glass of wine. He can buy home furnishings with an eye to match or even beat paid Interior Deisgners. He can cook like nobody’s business.

He loves to paint his daughters’ fingernails, he picks out pretty perfumes and nail polishes for me, he loves to soak in hot, fragrant baths, and he’s even played the game “Pretty Pretty Princess” with our daughters and actually wore the jewelry for it. He looked super cute with spiky hair, a goatee, a work shirt and clip-on princess earrings.

Do you appreciate men like that? Men that seem to be the perfect combination? Or do you like your man different?

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35 Answers

Aster's avatar

I do hope he’s reproducing. (-; WOWEEEE !!

AmWiser's avatar

Yessss. And he’s all mine.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No.
.GIVE ME A DOOFUS,OR GIVE ME DEATH!!!
tongue firmly planted in cheek

diavolobella's avatar

That’s just the kind of man I have, and I love every bit of it!

wilma's avatar

He sounds like a keeper!

nebule's avatar

A man who has no fear of showing his softer side IS 100% man :-)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I appreciate my man being upfront with who he is and better yet, I appreciate if he’s happy and confident that way. That we understand each other and have some commonalities and chemistry enough to want to share our lives together feels like a blessing.

muppetish's avatar

I don’t know how someone who is 100% male is supposed to behave (or female for that matter.) The very idea has never made sense to me because I don’t buy into the gender binary. I appreciate a person who is comfortable with who they are and does not police how they believe other people should behave. Otherwise I am not even remotely interested.

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband is very similar and I love it.

rooeytoo's avatar

My husband hasn’t hunted since he was a kid and took his ferrets out to catch rabbits for family supper. We go fishing together every now and again. His job requires brain work, rarely gets his hands dirty and we are both appalled at UFC fighting. Does that make him somehow less of a man? He cried at Karate Kid and kisses our old dogs but would tell his daughters painting their nails is a waste of time, go throw the ball or dig in the garden instead.

These stereotypes of what makes a man or a woman tend to make me nervous, I have never fit into the mold. Why must we have these definitions that seem to limit and confine. I adore him the way he is and consider him to be an excellent example of an intelligent, caring and wonderful human being. And really, I’m not too shabby myself.

YoBob's avatar

Real men are not afraid of having their masculinity called into question for appreciating the finer things in life such as fine wine, a relaxing bath, or singing lullabies to his children.

Sounds like your husband is a real man.

Jude's avatar

What @nebule said.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yeah, I only like them 79% male.~

CyanoticWasp's avatar

As @rooeytoo has stated (so well), not all real men hunt or watch sports on television. A real man does pretty much whatever the hell he wants to do—after he has done what he has to do. I’m glad that you’re happy with yours; I wouldn’t have it any other way for you.

Me, I’m just a doofus.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

OK, for those who are questioning my stereotypes on what makes a man a man… I should have phrased my details better. He’s 100% stereotypical male. Like what you see a “man’s man” do on TV or in some books. I don’t mean that I think all men should be that way, I just meant that he acts the way much of society thinks a “man’s man” is supposed to act.

And I really love both sides of him, he’s like this delicious, juicy morsel I get to unwrap whenever I want.

CyanoticWasp's avatar

Oh, well, if you’re going to be unwrapping me on a regular basis… what kind of game would you like me to bag today, and what color for the girls’ nails? And was that a light beer or regular? If you warm up the television for tonight’s game, then I’ll cook something like nobody’s business.

What are we going to do to distract your husband, though?

Jude's avatar

one of the reasons why I lurve simone.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@CyanoticWasp The girls would probably enjoy a game of Candyland or Trouble, their nails can be whatever color you choose dear, a Shiner Bock if you please, would you prefer to watch football, hockey or the UFC, no need for you to cook darling- we’ll just order in tonight, and there’s duct tape in the drawer to your left.

Leanne1986's avatar

One of the things I really love about my man is he is a real blokes bloke. Like your fella, he gets his hands dirty everyday, he fixes stuff, he loves his boys toys (vehicle of all shapes and sizes, from motorbikes to tanks), and he’s strong, I feel very safe and protected when I am with him but….

On the other hand he loves animals (he is as chuffed by the sight of a puppy as I am!) and hates to see them suffering, he took me to Vegas to see Cher even though he isn’t exactly a fan (he enjoyed it more than he thought though!), he always smells amazing, he keeps his hands moisterised and he has been known to eat a whole box of maltesers in under half an hour (which is more chocolate than I eat in a month!).

The best thing about men like this is they are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t have to be “macho” to prove their manliness.

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Austinlad's avatar

Heck, I’m a guy and I appreciate THAT.

Carly's avatar

I enjoy a combination of those things. If it’s not balanced, its not as attractive. I’m not sure why.

BratLady's avatar

You just described my husband other than the nail polish. (we have sons). I love the fact that he can work up a sweat but can be gentle too. He walked the floors with our children as much as I did and he’s a better cook than me.

cockswain's avatar

why is fluther recommending this question to me?

aprilsimnel's avatar

D’awwww. What you’ve got is a keeper!

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@aprilsimnel I know! I adore him! (Most of the time anyway…) And the best thing is: my whole family adores him also.

ChocolateReigns's avatar

That’s pretty much the one characteristic that I think shows what guys are good and which aren’t. If a guy didn’t want to show his softer side, he’s insecure and he obviously he won’t be a very good listener or really care about my problems, much less any kids that we’d have. Except I won’t be having sex with any guy that I’m not married to or that I have any doubt about. Not happening – it happens too much already and it’s fine to wait.

palerider's avatar

men who often show their “softer” side are way more likely to be cheated on. women say they want a man with a vulnerable side, but when they see the weakness they probably will sieze upon it and use it to their advantage in the future. women can be waaaay more cruel than men.

deni's avatar

abso fucking lutely. i don’t like “manly” men. i dont even know what that MEANS. well, i guess i do, but i don’t know wHY it means what it means nowaday. its dumb. if my boyfriend didn’t cry when he was upset, i would think it was ridiculous. he doesn’t hunt, fish, or watch sports, and he loves fashion. he always knows what goes well with my skin tone and what does not. we can look at pictures of kittens together for hours. and sometimes when he gets home from a long day at work he starts crying and says how much he missed me through the day (not often, but it happens, and i find it adorable)...he’s a way better cook than me, too. and if he didn’t do those things, i wouldn’t appreciate him as much. emotions are important, and i dont understand not letting yours show just because you have certain genitalia. or not being able to be interested in certain things for that reason as well. so yes, i appreciate a man with a feminine side.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

There are a few men that seem to have arrived directly from Mars and were planted on Earth. Once you get to know them better (or they adapt), they all have their softer side. It is fascinating to learn what that chink in their armor is. I prefer men that are not the stereotypical Martian or Neanderthal, be it friend or in a committed relationship.

nebule's avatar

@palerider that wasn’t a massive generalisation at all was it? have you recently been dumped?

palerider's avatar

@nebule possibly and no. i’m currently married and have been for a number of years.

nebule's avatar

crikey

peridot's avatar

<3 sigh… <3 Men like this (including my BF) get me all melty inside.

It takes strength to allow vulnerability to show, especially in the face of societal conditioning that positively bellows to NOT let it show. Granted, this is a little out-of-date; these days guys can let that side of them show much more, and can I get a holla for that!

What bothers me are the men who don’t acknowledge any vulnerability. At all. They’re almost invariably foul to others.

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