General Question

lookingglassx3's avatar

Should I go to prom?

Asked by lookingglassx3 (2111 points ) March 6th, 2011

I don’t know if I want to go to prom or not. It’s four months away. I can’t really find a dress that I like. My best friend (who nearly died) is begging me to go; I feel like the only reason I’ll be going (if I do go) is for her. I’m tempted not to go because it will save me a lot of money, and I think it sounds kind of boring. My other friends are asking me about transport, but I don’t even have an answer about whether I’m going or not. I’ve made a list of pros and cons, and the cons outweigh the pros. also, I’d like to go to a music festival this year, so I’d like the money for that; if I went to prom I wouldn’t be able to afford the festival tickets. It just doesn’t sound like my thing, and I think it sounds boring. But I’m scared I’ll regret it if I don’t go; plus my friends wouldn’t understand why I don’t want to go, and I’d have let my ill best friend down. So what do I do?

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33 Answers

marinelife's avatar

From the other side, I think that it is a once-in-a-lifetime happening that you will regret missing.

TexasDude's avatar

I didn’t want to go to prom either, when I was your age, but I went anyway and wound up having a really good time. In hindsight, I would have regretted not going, and you might too, if you don’t go.

…best to regret things you did, in the end, rather than regretting not doing things you should have done, right?

BarnacleBill's avatar

The thing about prom is that you really can live and turn out to be a well-adjusted person if you don’t go to prom, but if all your friends are going, you are going to miss out on a shared experience with them. Is that important to you?

There are ways to do prom on the cheap. Lots of consignment stores have great deals on prom dresses, and you should be able to find something cute for about $30. Check the sales racks at the department stores, and look for something off-season. Or, borrow a dress from a friend. No matter what you wear, you’re going to have fun with your friends. See if your parents or one of your friends parents will host a dinner party at home to save the expense of eating out.

My one daughter didn’t go, and doesn’t regret it, but it did cause a rift with some of her friends. The other bought a dress on sale, shoes from Payless, and had dinner at the Golden Coral with 16 other kids. They drove to prom, and went to a party at someone’s house afterwards. The whole thing, including tickets, cost her $100. She had a blast!

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lemming's avatar

I think you should try to go for as cheap as possible, because the money seems to be the main thing stopping you. Try getting a dress on sale, or borrow an old one from someone you know, and just get a ride with someone. I think it would be a pitty to regret not going to your prom.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

My mom didn’t go to hers, and she never regretted it. I didn’t plan on going to mine – I bought a dress (not a prom dress, just a cute dress – I still wear the dress and the shoes, which combined cost $70. I didn’t buy new makeup or get my hair done professionally or anything else.) 3 days before when it seemed like a fun night out for my new girlfriend and I (to mix it up from our normal dates of making out in my apartment). We actually had a really good time, but I think it was because I didn’t see it as a “prom”, but rather just a fun night out.

If you were the type to regret going, you’d probably know by now.

Mamradpivo's avatar

You may as well go, but there’s no reason to spend a fortune on it. Go with a group of friends, take the nicest car any of your parents own and cook a great dinner with the group. That’s what I did for my senior prom and it was pretty fun.

But I would encourage you not to expect prom to be the most magical moment of your life. That’s a fiction pushed by the prom industry, Hollywood, and people whose lives never amounted to anything after high school

Also, if you don’t think you’re going to have any fun, do an actual anti-prom event. Rather than just going to a movie, get dressed up in old western costumes and go bowling, or something like that.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Remember: If you aren’t going for you, you definitely won’t have a good time. Forget about your friend – she shouldn’t be relying on you to make it a good time for her.

bolwerk's avatar

Not many things are more wasteful than watching TV. Prom might be one of them.

MilkyWay's avatar

hmm, any particular reason why you’re friend wants to go to the prom?
If not maybe she can go to the music festival with you, if she’s not too ill. Talk to her about it anyway.
good luck and hope your friend gets better.

janbb's avatar

If it’s the money, the cost saving suggestions are spot on. If it’s really not your thing, maybe stay home, although pleasing a friend who nearly died is not the worst reason to go.

sliceswiththings's avatar

I think you should go. Doing something for a friend is reason enough, and you may regret it when your friends later in life discuss how horrible their prom experiences were and you have nothing to contribute.

Prom wasn’t my “thing” either. I had recently had my heart broken, and didn’t want to see the guy with his date, I don’t like popular music, I don’t like dancing, etc. It was stressful because it was the same day as my brother’s college graduation three hours away, so I had to rush to get ready and couldn’t do fancy hair or makeup. I wore a dress that I already had (others I knew did as well), and my mom lent me jewelry.

I was surprised that the good time that I had. I pretty much skipped the dancing, and found that people were just having fun being dressed up and not in school together. I talked to people I had classes with but didn’t know well for the first time; there was a real sense of camaraderie since we were all about to graduate.

Go, don’t expect to have fun, and don’t upset yourself while you’re there. Don’t gaze at your crush dancing with his date, don’t try to dance if you don’t want to, but don’t just sit and mope. Hang out with your friend, talk to people, and take in the fact that this is one of the last times you’re going to see these people.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It’s not a big deal at all, prom. Who cares, really? At least you know what you’d rather do.

Judi's avatar

I didn’t go to a prom and had no stories for my daughters. :-(

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Judi What about other stories?!

Mariah's avatar

Going or not going to prom won’t make or break your life, that’s for sure. It doesn’t have to break the bank either, though. I went to prom in a dress that cost $40, and didn’t show up in a limo like a lot of people do, and had a really good time. But, if you honestly don’t think you’ll have fun, don’t feel obligated to go. It really isn’t the pinnacle of high school experiences like some people make it out to be.

filmfann's avatar

I didn’t go to mine, and have always regretted it.
I had no money, I didn’t have my license, and I wasn’t serious about any girl at the time. And I don’t dance well.
In retrospect, I should have found a way to do it. A lot of girls in my class didn’t get asked, and the band turned out to be pretty good (a local Oakland band called Tower of Power ).
He didn’t go either, for pretty much the same reasons.
I should have gone, and made my friends go too. You only get one.

KateTheGreat's avatar

If you want a lasting memory, go to prom!

If you want something creative to do, have an anti-prom party. I did this and it was the coolest thing I’ve ever done. What I did is I found a lot of people who couldn’t afford to go or didn’t have a date and we put our money together to buy some party decorations, great music, great food, and some fun party games for teens. We had so much fun and our party was talked about for weeks. Everyone who went to the prom didn’t have as much fun as we did!

reijinni's avatar

I didn’t go to mine because I don’t like dressing up and I like my TV more. besides no date and no way of getting there.

BarnacleBill's avatar

“Back in the day” (‘70’s) the teachers in our high school made sure everyone that wanted to go to prom had a date. They ran a dating service, matching people up for prom so that everyone could say they went. Prom tickets were free if you paid your class dues, the big thing was to host a dinner party at your house, no one took limos, had their hair or makeup professionally done, or went to a hotel afterwards. I think out of 500+ people, only 3 people didn’t go. My date was someone I didn’t know very well, and I still had fun. I probably had more fun because I was with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with and there were no expectations. We went to a breakfast after the prom at someone’s house – 200 people were there – the mom put tents in the backyard and had it catered. I was home by 3, a few friends stayed over, it was really a good memory to have.

Seelix's avatar

I went because I thought I’d regret it if I didn’t go. I didn’t think it was all that cool, and I probably wouldn’t care today if I hadn’t gone.

perspicacious's avatar

Go to prom. There will be other music festivals. There is only one senior prom. I didn’t go to mine because my boyfriend was away at college. I’m sort of sad that I missed it.

WestRiverrat's avatar

As someone that chose not to go to prom, I advise you do go. It is a once in a lifetime experience.

hobbitsubculture's avatar

My prom had lame music, lame dancing, and lame food.

But it was loads of fun because I went with friends. Whether it’s your prom or the music festival, you’ll probably have the most fun if you go with your friends.

In a year, how much will it matter to you if you went to the prom versus going to the music festival? Do you think it will matter more to your friend if you don’t go?

etignotasanimum's avatar

I went to my senior prom with a whole bunch of girlfriends and had a blast. We had a potluck dinner at my house and did each other’s hair/makeup. I already had a lot of the jewelry/accessories I needed, and bought a dress on sale for $20, which is all I ended up spending, I think, aside from the ticket. What I’m saying is, it’s doable on a budget, and it was worth going because I spent time with my friends and got to see everyone looking just as silly dancing as I did.
But yeah, I think that you should go for it if you want to, but don’t let yourself be talked into doing something you don’t want to do.

tranquilsea's avatar

In hindsight I shouldn’t have gone to my prom. It was a massive waste of money and I had a terrible time. They crammed too many of us into a small space, the dinner sucked and my dad ended up ruining the night.

That being said you may want to go to support your friend. As others have suggested buy a cheap prom dress. No one will be able to tell that you didn’t spend a ton of money on it. Go with low expectations and you may just have a good time.

Part of my problem was that I had idealized the prom and I was really let down. You haven’t so you would probably have a good time.

incendiary_dan's avatar

Like @hobbitsubculture said, our prom was lame, but still fun. I’m not sure if it makes it better or worse, but within a couple weeks of it there was a class dinner with way better music and food. And I think that was free. Shoulda just gone to that.

See if there’s one of those going on.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Yes, you should go to the prom.

Pandora's avatar

I agree with @marinelife. I didn’t want to go to mine either and then did something stupid that got me from going althogether. I thought no big deal. Come graduation, I regretted not having that extra time to celebrate my 4 years of hard work and the chance to say good bye to my friends. If I had to do it all again, I definetly would go. The last few days just fly bye.

jazmina88's avatar

you can never replace prom memories….there are festivals the rest of your life.

Do it for your friend….dont spend too much money…..and have the Experience.

truebloodties's avatar

It’s just a dance I didnt go to my grade eight or twelve prom, I didnt miss much and your right its costly I say no don’t go. If she’s a true friend she will understand that you would rather not go and that you can’t afford prom and the festival. Go to the music festival you wont be missing out.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Yes, you can’t replace prom memories. But that’s really true for everything. I will never get the chance to see A Perfect Circle in concert, or go to A Taste Of Colorado 2010, or even remember what going to the bathroom 15 minutes ago was like, because I chose to do something else. Prom is just another choice, and it is hardly the be-all-end-all of dances, parties, festivals, or memories.

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