Social Question

Carinaponcho's avatar

Should I stay in this class?

Asked by Carinaponcho (1369 points ) February 6th, 2013 from iPhone

Today was the first day of my second semester. I began a new class called Child Development 1. It is basically a class about pre schoolers. They come in on a weekly basis and we will read to them and do projects. The class itself sounds fun and the teacher is nice. I took it to see if perhaps I was interested in pursuing a career in education.
The class sounds great, except I have a problem with some of the people in my class. For this anecdote, I would like to call this girl Stick Legs. Last year, Stick Legs’s best friend liked my boyfriend. Lets call this friend No Personality. Stick Legs and No Personality used to follow my boyfriend and me in the hallways. They stuck gum on the bottom of my backpack multiple times and unzipped it so the books would fall out. Stick Legs, No Personality, and some of their friends Fake Tan and Foundation Face would stare at me in the lunch line and whisper and laugh to each other. This year they posed behind us at the pep rally and took pictures of us. I’m sorry if my descriptions of these girls seems mean, but I don’t even know them well enough to give them proper descriptions. I’m not actually that mean and judgemental.
Anyway, when Stick Legs walked into class today, I started to panic. I know she will be talking about me to No Personality and I don’t want that.
If having her in the class isn’t bad enough, my boyfriend’s old best friend is in the class. He always blames me for taking his best friend away from him, even though my boyfriend stopped being friends with him because he just stopped liking him anymore. He and Stick Legs are really good friends, too.
I’m considering dropping out and taking it next year instead. But my close friend Natasha is in it and I want to stay with her. I’m torn. Can I have some advice? I’m sorry this is so long and complicated.

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27 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

And welcome to Junior High School, too, from the sound of things.

I realize you have some anxiety issues with some people; that’s not so abnormal in people of your age. I was like that, too, but not at all to the extreme that you are. So I sympathize, a little bit. Though it’s going to seem like I don’t, when you see my answer.

The answer is: Grow up. That’s it. You have to grow up and realize that it doesn’t matter what others say to others about you. It simply has no effect on you or the world.

Say hi to Natasha for me.

Seek's avatar

Wow.

OK, high school drama aside, if you want to pursue early childhood education, take the class. Who gives a shiz if NP and SL talk about you? Honestly, in five years you won’t remember their names. You’ll remember what they said about you, but their names? Totally forgotten. It’ll be great.

Next year you might want a full year class, and not be able to take it because you have to make up Child Development. Or worse, you could not take Child Development at all and miss a great thing to have on your transcript and resume when you start applying to Early Childhood Education classes.

Don’t let some douche decide the rest of your educational career. It’s one day a week.

Also, if you can get away with it, bring doughnuts to class. Bribery wins every time. Better yet, bring doughnuts and sell them for a dollar a piece. Then you get money, AND the douches are being nice to you because you gave them doughnuts. It worked for me in Advanced Literature.

wundayatta's avatar

High School is not real life.

Let me repeat.

High School is not real life.

All these friendships and enemyships that seem so important will not matter in a few years. They will be completely irrelevant.

However your career will be very important. It is your livelihood. It is your life.

I know it is hard to have perspective on these things when you are still in high school, and for many people these social cliques are the beginning and end of life. But later on, this will not be true.

So stick it out. Don’t worry about the others. You have every chance of making friends with them by the end of the semester. Who knows? Stranger things have happened.

But keep your nose clean. Focus on your work. Keep it professional, and these enemies of yours won’t matter. Don’t talk to them. Don’t listen to them. They will all be irrelevant.

Focus on the work, and you will be fine.

Sunny2's avatar

Consider it training for the real world. If you let this petty nonsense get in the way of something you want to do NOW, what will you do next time you’re in an uncomfortable situation. Pull yourself up tall. Look them straight in the eye with dignity and think, “I don’t need you!” Go to your seat and wait for Natatsha. Do not ever let them see that they bother you. They aren’t worth it.

SamandMax's avatar

Truth is if you let these people get to you in that you’re contemplating dropping out this year, you’re actually going to be putting your life on hold. The pranks they are pulling, the chatting they might be doing between themselves, all that jazz, is really immature.

If you drop out now, and take it next year instead, what are you going to do in place of it? Is it likely to be of any great worth to you in the long run?

Stick at it because when you’re done doing the course, and have got through it, they’ll be foundation faced, stick-legged, fake tan, no personality losers talking about how they wish they hadn’t been silly idiots for the duration.

Don’t give up just because you feel like you should simply based on the behavior of other people. It’s counterproductive and will only slow you down.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Welcome!

Unlike the rest of the posters, I think you’d be miserable and it may affect your grade in the class. Natasha may be the next target if she’s nice to you.

It just seems easier to me to switch classes and move on with your life.

As Wundy said, it’s not real life, but the stress is real and so is the hurt you’re probably feeling, it’s a waste of time. So it’s your choice, stand up and deal with it, or switch and move on in peace. Let us know!!!

Seek's avatar

@KNOWITALL It’s a fair point, but unless the school is ginormously huge, there’s a good chance this isn’t the only class or the only time in school where she’s going to run into this clique. And the knowledge that she dropped a class to avoid them is going to be fuel for the fire.

HolographicUniverse's avatar

Take every bit of advice you have gotten here, do NOT drop the class in order to avoid classmates, when you are older you will understand better. Often kids forget that high school is only a transitional stage, no matter if you’re socially inept, or if you have “enemies” or are being bullied (though I recommend alerting authorities for the latter) You are there to learn, not to appease to others or allow others to interfering with your learning. If childhood development, a rather useful class in some concentrations, is only an issue because you’re in the presence of these people it would be foolish to drop it. Though I must admit this is easier said than done, some people who suffer from social anxiety are more susceptible to classroom disruption (allowing others to affect their focus thus negatively impacting their performance) if you are one of these people then it might be best to take it next year if possible.
My personal opinion is focus on the task at hand, screw foundation face, skinny legs and no personality… They are not a factor in your life, nor will they be, do not allow them to cause you to make foolish decisions

livelaughlove21's avatar

Running away isn’t going to solve anything. I, for one, would be humiliated if this girl came to the conclusion I was switching because of her. That’ll just fuel her petty drama.

I say stay in the class and ignore her. Don’t let her get in the way of a class you’re excited about. It’s just high school girl drama – you can’t let it sway your studies in any way.

One day, you’ll look back and feel silly for worrying about it at all.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Perhaps, but the most important thing is her schooling/ grades in my opinion.

This is the kind of bullying that really irritates the crap out of me because it’s not enough to make a big deal of, but enough to be super-annoying.

I knew a few people in school who were bullied and the only way I know how to deal with it is get right up in their face and force them to back off.

marinelife's avatar

It depends on if the format of the class would allow them to interact with you. If yes, then you know how they would be. I would not take the class.

Carinaponcho's avatar

@marinelife The class is very group oriented. Everybody works with each other at a different point in time.

Shippy's avatar

As @Sunny2 said it is a bit of training in preparation for the real world. You can’t stop people talking about you. What you have control of is yourself, the work you do there and becoming absorbed in your subject. I have a saying that I use that helps me “What everyone is saying about me, is none of my business”. If it gets out of hand you can talk to the individual that has upset you at the time. Personally me, I wouldn’t take the class. When I move on, I move on. I let people go if they are toxic.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Shippy That’s exactly what I mean as well, life’s too short for the toxic people, I just refuse to deal with all the negativity, it spreads like a fungus.

What she needs is the teacher, counselor, or someone to tell the bullies that it’s unacceptable behavior and send them to get some help. I thought bullying wasn’t tolerated in school anymore due to suicides and other situations.

@Carinaponcho Have you told anyone in authority? If not, why not? If so, what happened?

rojo's avatar

What you need is self-confidence. Hold you head up, be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. Let them figure out how to deal with you, not the other way around.

If you start planning your life around people who you can never please you will be in constant emotional turmoil and never be happy with yourself.

I think I mentioned this on another thread but I learned many years ago that you can’t please everyone so just please yourself.

Carinaponcho's avatar

@KNOWITALL I actually was feeling very stressed and upset on the second day of school, so I told a teacher that I am very close with and have had for two years. She said that it wasn’t okay and that if something else happened she would let a higher counselor know.

mangeons's avatar

Don’t let these girls scare you out of doing something you want to do. As others have said, it’s preparation for the real world. If you got a new job, and then found out that one of your coworkers is someone you disliked, would you quit the job just because of it? All throughout your life you will have to deal with (and yes, talk to and cooperate with) people you don’t like for one reason or another.

Don’t let these girls control your life, that’s just giving them what they want. Make it obvious that you don’t care what they say (even if you do care, make a clear point of pretending that you don’t) and eventually they will tire of their silly game. Be the mature person here and don’t stoop to their level. Having to be around a bully is never fun, but if this class is something that you want to do, don’t just let these people walk all over you. Stand up for yourself and do what you want to do. If you let them control you now, it will only make them think that they can manipulate you in the future as well.

kitszu's avatar

I hope this helps but if you start your Q&A with “I have a problem with someone in my class…”.

You should probably stay with what you decided to major in and not worry about the other people in your class.

I began with a double major in psych/law enforment., I changed my major based on my classmates. There was no way they would accept me and I was tired of having to fight to be accepted.

I chose to believe I would never have been accepted b/c I didn’t think I would be able/willing to make the changes required to fit the bill.

I’ve been with the company I’m with now for 4½ years. I’m a manager there. After a year and a half, my performance paid off.

I’m just trying to tell you, if you have a dream…don’t let it go just yet. There is more in you than you know right now.

Don’t throw it away b/c your peers make you feel bad in someway. The big picture is made of ”little pieces”,...yes.

The overall good is the important part. We are all “little pieces” in a big watch. But all the pieces need to function together to make “the watch” tick.

Bellatrix's avatar

If you drop out of this class because of these people, where will this behaviour of running away end? What if you choose to take another class and they walk in, will you leave that one too? We all come across people we don’t like and who sometimes make us feel uncomfortable but we have to learn to deal with that. See this as one of those situations. Don’t sit near them. Don’t engage with them unless you need to and if they do start spreading stories about you, ignore them. The people in the class you would want to be involved with will be sensible enough to see through such behaviour.

Good luck with the class.

kitszu's avatar

People seem to think that things change when you enter the ‘Adult’ world. They do not…

livelaughlove21's avatar

@kitszu Things are the same for you now as they were in high school? Backstabbing, cliques, drama, bullying? Maybe you’re hanging around the wrong “adults”, because my life now is nothing like it was in high school.

Seek's avatar

There will always be cliques and drama, but as adults we can choose to change the groups with whom we associate. There’s the option of finding another favourite watering hole, or moving to a neighborhood where the the HOA isn’t so unreasonable. In high school, you’re stuck with the same 800 people, or more accurately for the most part the 200 people in your graduating class, with no option to really avoid them. It’s a tiny little slice of hell.

SamandMax's avatar

And if you’re going through hell, keep going.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@SamandMax I thought you might be quoting a song. Guess not.

SamandMax's avatar

@livelaughlove21 No..it was closer to being a quote from Winston Churchill from my own point of view. I draw inspiration from quotes more than songs when the shit hits the fan.

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