Can premature ejaculation be cured? NSFW?

How old is he…. sounds like you are both young and he needs a bit of time and practice, especially since he barely touched the thing in a long time so its overly sensitive I am sure. I think he needs to practice on himself for a while. Learning tantra can help lengthen his time with pleasing you without ejactulating.

Premature ejaculation often goes away with practice, but not always. Sometimes a condom can reduce the feeling enough to keep it from happening. Sometimes people use a cream that reduces the feeling.

There is a huge psychological component to this. The brain is the most important sex organ. His difficulty in achieving an erection indicates that he is messing himself up inside his head. He sounds like he is thinking about it instead of feeling it. I bet he is worried about coming too fast and this is making him cum even faster.

I would suggest that he work on satisfying you first. He could use his fingers or his tongue or a dildo if you have one to stimulate you. Hell, you could hump is leg or even jerk off in front of him, or watch him stimulate himself. All these things are designed to make you more aroused.

The other issue is control. He needs to learn to stop or slow down when he feels himself start to come. He has to tell you that he needs to stop and you have to stop no matter how frustrating it might be for you. He has to be very careful.

For you, yes. A penis his size should be perfectly fine. It will stimulate what it stimulates and that will be enough—assuming you use your big sexual organ well. This is all psychological. If you love him and you want him and you admire his cock and you tell him how much you want him, it will help. Tell him you don’t care about him coming too fast so long as he will please you after. If he is too tired after, then he should please you before. That’s usually best since most men are done when they come and have little interest in helping their girl after they come. Sorry. Our interest just goes away after we cum. It takes a lot of training and effort to maintain interest after.

On the other hand, he is young and he could probably come again pretty quickly, and it might take longer the second time. So you could challenge him to do that. See if he can do it. That really makes your cock take a lot longer if you’ve just come.

As @creative1 said, Tantra can help, but that takes a lot of practice. Years. You have to be very committed. It is quite difficult.

Whatever happens, just remember, it’s fun trying to enjoy sex more. Don’t judge yourselves or each other. The goal is not necessarily orgasm. It is to express love for each other. If you must have an orgasm, make sure you have one first. There is no need to have orgasms simultaneously. That is not usually the way it happens. But there is no objective standard for perfect sex. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to please yourselves.

Hey @chelle21689, don’t think so hard about it, and don’t be so quick to put a label on what has happened. Your sex-life with this guy is in its very earliest stages, and you both have a lot to explore and learn… If it was the first time you’ve had sex, he was probably hugely concerned about being able to please you and be “good” at it, and that amount of thinking does make it harder to stay hard for a man. At the same time, once he was successfully penetrating you, it will have been hugely exciting for him and it’s quite a compliment that you have such an effect on him. Give it time and practise lots! It will improve and you’ll grow together in what you do… but please don’t label it, (because when we label something, we give it substance, and then we expect it to happen, and then, inadvertantly, we make it happen) and please don’t let him see that you’ve asked this on here, you could scar the poor fella for life!

Usually it is an issue for younger men, and, sometimes, it is also an unconscious way of wanting to frustrate a partner.
Do some research and try some recommendations, but, if it continues after exploring methods to overcome it uh, pun not intended, but, there it is anyway, LOL I’d say he might benefit from some therapy.

Sure it can be cured…. with time.

Wait until he is pushing fifty and it takes all but an act of god to keep him interested. Then you’ll be waxing nostalgic for those good old days when he was so “excited” that he couldn’t contain himself.

@Creative1 I’m 22 and he is 21

@Wundayatta LOL…funny you mention that. He actually wants to go again and luckily it’s not hard for him to try for the 2nd time… but it is I that lose interest once the guy finishes because I feel like my work is done. That’s how I’ve been conditioned over the past several years. It’s hard to get me in the mood once it’s over. Orgasms aren’t important to me. I think it’s very hard for a guy to make me finish…I can make myself finish. Oral does nothing for me. I’ve never had a guy give me the big O lol Unfortunately for me intercourse is what gets me going…and maybe fingering.

@Harple, I try to clear out history and whatever so he doesn’t see it…also I don’t want anyone else to know other than him and me. lol

If it’s an ongoing thing I know he’s willing to go to the doctor. He said he wants me to be satisfied. lol

Tell him what you want. If fingers do it, then do that. Tell for real, that orgasm doesn’t matter. It makes you feel perfect when he is inside you. He doesn’t have to do anything. Just be with you.

And please don’t think of it as your work. It is a pleasure to make someone else feel good and if he wants to go on, it is still a pleasure. Talk to him about what he wants and tell him what you want. With honest talk, you can make it work for both of you.

It can be hard for men to believe you don’t need an orgasm to feel satisfied, so you’ll probably have to convince him. Tell him what works for you. Tell him women are different (as if that isn’t obvious). If you show him your love, eventually he might get it. It should be a relief for him, too, if he believes you don’t have to have an orgasm. He can be freed to take his pleasure, instead of fighting to hold on. Perversely, if he is freed, he will probably last longer—eventually.

I know it sounds weird but it’s kind of like a work out. I mean, I’m satisfied if it’s got a good amount of time in. I’d say maybe intercourse at least 15 minutes…hopefully it’s not too much.

Why do you think he didn’t have this issue with his ex with intercourse? Like I said before, he was able to bang in all kinds of positions and go from sex to oral and back to sex. She was attractive. I know my bf thinks I’m very attractive and I guess I have a lot more size to my butt and although my boobs are only B cup, they were bigger than his exes and I know I physically stimulate him lol.

There have already be plenty of good answers, but honestly, it will probably help if the dude has a hand shandy on a more regular basis. I don’t know where he got the idea that it isn’t healthy, but he’s dead wrong. More masturbation was always the first recommendation Adam and Drew gave when a caller had issues on premature ejaculation, and frankly, spunk does a have a shelf life. Sperm has a way of going downhill the longer it hangs out so, whether or not you care about reproduction, nature favors the masturbator.

Yeah, I know. I told him doing it a lot doesn’t make it unhealthy. I really think that it could be one of the reasons that makes him so sensitive. I know if I haven’t beat off in a while it makes it sensitive a lot more.

Probably not the ideal solution but when I was younger & lets say over eager, a friend suggested smoking a joint to calm things down a bit, it worked we lasted for hours……. Still do :-/
I never tried the creams & we didn’t like condoms….. He needs to control his urge to cum, it can be done. This means turning his mind to something else when he can sense that climax is near. For example, he can think about something totally unconcerned with sex or you just pinch him when you sense he’s about to cum……… :-/ good luck…….

Practice makes perfect. In the meantime I would take it as a compliment.

A guy has to learn that skill just like a girl might learn to kegel.

WIth patience it can be cured. But he has to acknowledge his problem and try to solve it with you o else all your tries won’t help at all.

Well I talked to him today about it, he said that he lasted “normally” with his ex. Over 15 minutes. He said I feel a lot tighter than her lol and he wants to figure out how to last longer with me cuz premature ejac. affects not only mine but his satisfaction. LoL I wonder if i’m tighter because I do kegels :P

@chelle21689 I had a boyfriend who knew and did tantra sex and we would have sex for 7 hours before he came a suggestion is have him look at it and try if anything it might help him with lasting longer just by starting it.

tantra sex…never heard. I’ll have to look it up. Someone said I needed to stop doing kegels because it makes him come faster… They said their gf was loose and when she did kegels he came quicker so maybe that’s the reason?? Like my bf said, his gf was looser and he was able to last long

Maybe he had this issue before and is lying about how there were no problems.

Anything below a 6 kind of sucks, but it IS, fortunately, enough to make for good sex.

One of my friends is having the same problem but it’s bothering her so much that she’s considering cheating on him with a former friend. I very much admire your patience with this man.

Yeah, I understand you like the fact that you think you turn him on so much that he does this, but girl.. you need to see how wonderful it is to have multiple orgasms. Seriously. Something needs to be done about this. As a woman you’re not getting all you need.

WHO on god’s green earth masturbates once or twice a month?

JESUS CHRIST.

@creative1 You didn’t get sore?

@wundayatta nope never

@creative1 Lucky for your boyfriend. I’ve had partners that get sore in ten minutes. It is not always an advantage to have any staying power. Although seven hours is an awful long time.

Some people on forums tell me he may be lying. But is it possible to develop premature ejaculation and not have problems before?

@sparrow, well there’s people that are worse lol. My friend’s ex boyfriend didn’t jack off because he thought it seem gay if he’s doing it himself (weird right?)

These men are psychologically disturbed. Although to be honest I probably jack off more than my BF.

@wundayatta he would always amaze me and the time flies before you realize it

@thesparrow you admire her patience? It was their first time!!

I still admire the patience.

honestly it is very frustrating…and i’m afraid that if this problem isn’t fixed any time soon it’ll take somewhat of a toll on the relationship. i’m already less sexually interested in him because we have already tried to have sex 5 times and he still ‘finishes” in less than a minute…not even getting 3 pumps in.

Holy crap.. WTF.

The good news is that when I first did oral he’d finish in a heartbeat. Now it takes a longer time and I get tired. lol I’m not giving up just yet…

Haha. My bf can’t get off on just oral. Weirdly. Because I definitely can..

I can’t get off on that either. :\

By the way, do you guys think he’s lying when he says that he lasted “normal” about 20 min with his ex 2 years ago??

I tried again and it got worse, RIGHT when I put it in he came. UGH. I think he should see a doctor.

lol he doesn’t trust anyone handcuffing him! I wouldn’t either, hehe. But yeah…..

Oh, I like being handcuffed.

You should trust the person you’re with to handcuff you. that’s weird.

Soo we’ve made progress, he lasted a minute HAHA. Not long but definitely made progress. The last few times we tried it he barely made it past one pump.

ONE MINUTE. I’m crying inside for you.

My bf cured his PE!! Lol, he bought some dvd and it’s very simple. He learned to control his breathing and to relax and not think about it at all. He also had some practice on how to control it by jerking off and he lasted I think 10 minutes or more. Well, he couldv’e lasted longer but for some reason I ended up losing all the juice? lol a huge jump and I can’t believe it worked.