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Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

NSFW (if you want)- When young people ask for romantic advice, should you give it to them?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14320 points ) October 20th, 2011

If a young person asks you how talk to their crush, or advice in general about how to handle their romantic interests, do you stay silent or relate what you have learned about sexuality?

What do you feel are your obligations to keep young people from being successful sexually?

Is there an age cutoff you use, or do you base your response on their level of maturity?

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13 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

I believe that people should have sexual information not just as young as they are interested in it, but as young as they can understand it. You can not have too much information and people who believe in keeping this away from their kids are asking for trouble. I think I have read about studies that say the more information you have, the less likely you are to even engage in sexual activity. Pretty interesting that.

My daughter is 15. She’s been given a lot of information. She seems to be positively horrified at the idea that she engage in sex any time in the next few years. She doesn’t even want a boyfriend. She doesn’t need the distraction, she says. She does, however, plan to have children sometime around the age of 28, so I assume she’ll have to have sex at least a little bit before then.

Hibernate's avatar

I usually explain things to them but I end up with telling them .. life isn’t the same for all of us and your own experience won’t be the same as mine. Learn from practice.

marinelife's avatar

I usually answer questions straighforwardly. I do not necessarily get into sexuality when answering relationship questions though.

njnyjobs's avatar

Yes, I would give advice if asked…in fact I would be honored if approached to discuss such subject, hell any of the various life subjects. It seems to me that the teen generation of today hardly seek information from their elders as information are available right on their fingertips (online).

Mariah's avatar

A desire for romance doesn’t necessarily mean a desire to get sexual. I wanted to have a boyfriend when I was 13 but I didn’t want to do anything sexual with a guy yet. Kissing at the very most.

I guess I’d gauge my advice partially on my perception of the young person’s intentions. If their wording seems to indicate that they want to get sexual with somebody, I stay far, far away, or give a reply about how to know when you’re ready for sex, how to practice safe sex, and what kind of situations are likely to lead to heartache.

mazingerz88's avatar

Of course. If you are a well meaning mature thinking kind of adult. Young people need all the guidance they could get and them volunteering to ask is a great opportunity all qualified adults should take.

Blueroses's avatar

I think now more than ever, it is valuable for adults to honestly and accurately answer these topics with the voice of experience when they have the best interest of the young person at heart. Have you seen the vast amount of pornography available on the internet to anybody who only claims to be 18?

I shudder to think of teenagers searching for answers on a XXX video site. (Note: I have no issue with porn for adults who can make the determination that it represents fantasy, not realistic situations.)

Teens have the physiology of an adult without emotional maturity. There needs to be a safe place to ask questions about relationships and sexuality where young people can be treated respectfully and hopefully well informed. Even if the parents are approachable, many teens are uncomfortable broaching the subject at home and educational institutions are severely limited in what they are allowed to address.

mazingerz88's avatar

Can’t wait for @ucme‘s answer. Lol!

ucme's avatar

With my kids? Yes, of course. Anyone else? No, not at all.

mazingerz88's avatar

@ucme Well that was benign.

ucme's avatar

I was just going to ask the reason for such anticipation @mazingerz88
Well, plain facts often are quite mundane.

Kardamom's avatar

I always try to tell them the truth, but I temper it with giving them an understanding of their responsibility to themselves as well as the other person, and with regards to being mature enough to handle certain situations. I would never tell a 13 year old girl or boy to go for it, but I would tell them both about my own experience, good and bad, and give them some info about where to go for more clinincal information, and then let them know that I was available to talk more about the subject. I would also try to explain to them how important it is to know yourself and to really get to know the other person very well before they take any drastic steps. Most adults don’t bother to get to know each other very well before they get physically intimate with other people and that causes a lot of problems and heartache down the road. So if I can make an impact in the lives of some young people, so that they can avoid some of the pitfalls and heartache, then I think that’s a good thing.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Sure! Give them all the advice you want. Just don’t expect them to follow it.

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