Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Did anyone overreact, or maybe under-react, to comments made on children's behavior? (revisited)

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21066 points ) October 28th, 2011

Well with all the new Jellies I figured maybe there would be a new grain of thought to here this question. In a nutshell, you have woman ‘A’ with small children running amok all over the place. Woman ‘A’ seems clueless to the havoc her kids are making. Woman ‘B’ makes an aloud general comment about how woman ‘A’s kids are disruptive; she said nothing to woman ‘A’, who in fact never heard the comment. Woman ‘C’ heard the comment and proceeds to read woman ‘B’, the riot act. When woman ‘B’ tries to point out the disruption woman ‘A’s kids are creating, woman ‘C’ will have none of it and becomes more angry to the point she tells woman ‘B’, “you don’t say shit about another woman’s kids; that is how trouble starts. Don’t you say anything about those babies, say something else about them and I will slap you.” Was anyone overreacting, under-reacting, and who was doing which? Should woman ‘B’ have mentioned something to the mother directly, by passed her and gone to management? It wasn’t woman ‘C’s kids, so should she have said anything? What is your take?

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11 Answers

Hibernate's avatar

I believe C woman overreacts. When some kids doing crap around and nobody tells them to stop or the mother does nothing .. it’s a nuisance. It’s better to tell to the mother too but woman C shouldn’t take offense in this situation. Not her kids but she made it her problem. Maybe she was an aunt or maybe she was really close to the kids so that’s why she taken that nasty attitude.
I’m not married [yet] so I don’t have kids but when I tell something about other people kids I usually point to the obvious. If woman A doesn’t like to hear what sort of brats are her kids then she should seek professional help.

marinelife's avatar

Woman C is overreacting. It is no skin off her nose what woman B does or says. She should not have spoken up.

Woman B should perhaps have taken it up with the mother, but was in her rights to make a comment.

Woman A was definitely underreacting to ignore her disruptive children in public.

CWOTUS's avatar

The third woman in the scenario mentioned was guilty of a criminal act, namely “threatening”. People are free to make comments about their perception of others’ behavior.

Leanne1986's avatar

Woman C should mind her own business, first and foremost.

Woman A should at least try to keep her kids under control.

Woman B probably should have spoken to woman A rather than allowing everyone to hear her comment but she is free to make any comment she likes providing it isn’t abusive or threatening.

amazingme's avatar

Sounds like any day at Wal-Mart….I hate that place!
Woman C is really overreacting.
Woman B needs to say something to Woman A.
Woman A needs to take control of her kids…or at least try to.

Ela's avatar

You never stated where the disturbance was taking place. I had three young kids (all 16 mnths apart in age) running amok and shrieking often. I’m sure they bothered a lot of people but they were kids just having fun and were never out of control. Sorry, but I’m of the opinion that you either have control or you don’t, there is no trying.
I’m not sure that woman C was overreacting. Woman B asked for trouble by taking an indirect approach to solve her problem. Obvious no one else (of the 3) had any issues with the children.
I had a man do something similar to me while waiting in a checkout line. We were in the express lane and the man (B) made a comment about “not knowing how to count” (the person ahead of me had more then the suggested limit of items). He said it loud enough for me (C) to hear but not loud enough for the person ahead of me (A) to definitely hear. I’m sure if they heard or not, they never acknowledged the comment.
It was like he wanted to a comrade on this issue he had with the person ahead of me. I smiled politely, didn’t say a thing and turned my back on him. To me, people who do this are cowards. They should either step up and say something to the person, or just shut up : )

CWOTUS's avatar

@EnchantingEla

If a person threatens that she “will slap you” for saying something that she doesn’t like, then that’s an overreaction. “To be offended”, “to be angry” and even “to reflect snidely on what has been said” is one thing. A threat is quite another: an overreaction.

The response that you indicated you gave to a similar comment is perfectly apropos.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@EnchantingEla You never stated where the disturbance was taking place. Seeing this is a situation that plays out in some form, somewhere, everyday, I did not want the location to influence the reactions. If I mentioned it was a restaurant, air port, or Dr. office someone can play it off that the kids were bored, and thus would be expected to be cutting up. Not like if they were at a funeral, or in a movie theater, etc.

Ela's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I see : )

@CWOTUS I agree, saying she will slap her is an overreaction. The rest of her comment sounded angry* to me and unfortunately when you toss a comment toward others rather then the person you have the problem with, you cannot expect the responses to always be in your favor or on your side so to speak. It sounds to me, that woman B was looking for support and it backfired. Swearing and threatening is never a good approach, in my opinion, but neither is not having the gonies to say something directly to the person you have the problem with.

*aggressively angry by my terms, but this may be acceptable behavior to her

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@marinelife @Leanne1986 @amazingme Sometimes trying to tell a woman her kids is acting like a snot, when they really are acting such or worse, the mothers just close ranks, and hunker down not hearing anything. If anything, their claws comes out.

Leanne1986's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I agree but my point was, although I believe she has the right to speak up, if she is going to say anything at all she should have said it quietly to the mother rather than, as @EnchantingEla said, saying loud enough for others to hear in the hope she will gather support from other people. Trying to gang up on someone isn’t fair. Personally I think she should have kept her mouth shut full stop. We are all irritated at times by other members of the public but as we don’t know their story, what kind of day they are having, what their health is like etc I think it’s best just to keep insignificant annoyances to yourself.

Of course, it depends on where this is taking place as to how insignificant (or not, as the case may be) the annoyance would be. If I am just in a supermarket and there are kids running amok I’m not bothered. If I were in the cinema trying to watch a film that I had paid to see, I would be pissed off.

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