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WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

How do you explain to your spouse that a certain gift sucks?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (22673 points ) November 30th, 2011

I’ve been talking to my husband about the Kindle Fire, because I’d really like one for Christmas this year. Several times, however, he has said, “I got you a tablet last year, why do you need the Kindle?”

What he got me last year is the Pandigital tablet, which really really really really (infinite really’s) sucks. I can’t download anything besides books to it. It’s the worst possible “tablet” on the market. I can’t download movies, music, games, or anything else. It’s supposed to be a “tablet”, not just a reader, but it does not work for anything at all, besides the ebooks.

He knows I haven’t really used it all year and he doesn’t seem to understand why. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I’d really like a working tablet. How can I gently explain to him that I know he was trying to get me a really neat gift, but it doesn’t work properly, and that’s why I want the Kindle Fire?

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19 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’d show him your question. Put a Honey I Love You at the top.
Edit. Maybe take out the sucks part or tone it down a little.:)

nikipedia's avatar

Maybe just stick to the facts? “I loved your gift but it doesn’t do a lot of the things I’d like a tablet to do, like download movies, music, or games.”

Blackberry's avatar

Isn’t it standard now to include a gift receipt? The receipt is to avoid these conversations. Everyone knows with things like this, preferences are very particular.

JLeslie's avatar

You are going to have to be blunt I think. Not mean, but as @nikipedia said, really lay out the facts. I am guessing your husband is thinking you are being wasteful by wanting a new version of what you already have, rather than realizing what you already have does not do all the things you really need. Maybe it would be easier if it was not related to Christmas? Can you try to sell the tablet you have and use that money towards the one you really want? Dwelling on the fact that it was given to you as a Christmas gift is not a good idea I think. It is not about the gift aspect at this point, it is about functionality. And, I am guessing for your husband it is about money and practicality, I doubt he is stuck on the fact that he chose that gift for you.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry She received it last year, she wants a new one this year.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@JLeslie Actually, the main problem is that he IS stuck on the fact that he chose that gift. He doesn’t use the exact words, but his tone says, “So, what I picked out for you isn’t good enough?” He gets his feelings hurt very easily if I don’t like gifts that he has given me.

That’s why it’s been so hard for me to tell him, “I know you picked out something you thought was neat, but you were wrong and it sucks.” lol

@Blackberry He bought it a year ago, and I’m sure he had a receipt, but he’s kind of clueless and doesn’t keep things like that. And even if I had a receipt, a conversation about “your gift sucks” would still be unavoidable. He would kind of notice if I took a gift back and got something different…

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I adore my husband, but he’s always trying to save money, and thinks along the lines of, “Oh, she wants a tablet? I’ll get her this one at Bath and Body Works that only costs $85. She’ll still like it.” The thing is, you get what you pay for, and every time he skimps on something, the product sucks.

JLeslie's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Oy. That does make it difficult. Why did he pick it? Had you been hinting you wanted one, and then he bought the one you never would have picked? I think I am not good at giving advice on this. Something like an electronic tablet neither my husband nor I would feel emotionally hurt or sentimental about. I could see my husband feeling like that about jewelry or clothing. It seems hard to address not liking something a year later. Although, with technology it mightt be easier? The Kindle Fire is new isn’t it? Can’t you just tell him you are interested in the Kidnle Fire because it has so many more functions? Maybe just talk about it without the pressure of Christmas.

ucme's avatar

We went through this in the early years of our relationship, until one fine day we both had a great idea…...just give each other cold hard cash & then get what the hell you like!!
We still buy each other little bits & pieces like perfume/aftershave, because you can’t go wrong there, but money is largely the way to go, for us anyway.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

So I’ve been fiddling with it in front of him, and giving little sighs before saying “I’ve had this for a year and it’s never worked right.”

He asked me to tell him what the problem was so I explained that it won’t let me download movies or games, and how difficult it was to get a few of my songs on there. He said, “That really sucks!” LMFAO, problem solved.

choreplay's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate can you reel him into getting him interested in using it. Like if he likes movies online or music or whatever would hook him. If you got him using it so he experienced it maybe that first hand experience would help him realize? hello all, yes I still fluther.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@choreplay Meh, he doesn’t read books and he doesn’t really like movies most of the time. His main benefit from getting me one would be to cut way down on my library that takes up half our bedroom. He hates how many books I have and calls them my “crack” and says he needs to get a second job to support my habit, LOL.

Good to hear from you here, BTW!!! <3

choreplay's avatar

@WWFC oh my, you and @taskmaster (aka, MB my wife). Although when she reads the steamy ones there more action for me, lol. Sorry off subject, hangs head in shame and walks to corner without being told.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@choreplay LOL! I couldn’t survive without books.

Don’t go to the corner! Stay and play!

JilltheTooth's avatar

I loves me humble man in a corner!!!

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

He got me a Kindle Fire AND a $50 Amazon gift card to download books and movies! WOOHOO!

choreplay's avatar

SCORE!!!

StarringU's avatar

You are so correcto about the pandigital. I got em for my tweens last christmas and paid almost 200.00 at Kohls for the dam things, FYI though , you CAN hack those babies and make them purr like a galaxy. ALMOST. Really . You have to know what youre doin and study it out, but just google. “Hack my Pandigal white 7” You could use it for your kids or something once you get your kindle. LOL

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