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rebbel's avatar

What would your reaction be if you were shown a thread from Fluther or any other social-/Q&A-site in which a question is asked that concerns an issue that you have with the asker of said question?

Asked by rebbel (23532 points ) January 1st, 2012

I read a question on Fluther where it was suggested to the OP to let the thread be read by the person that was a (third) party in the question.
That person could then read what the OP and the members of Fluther had to say about the issue that the asker has with said third party.
That made me think what I would do/how my reaction would be if I were the person that a certain thread was presented to.
My initial reaction was that I would probably say “Who do you think I am that I would let a bunch of people, unknown to me, judge an issue that I have with you?”
How would you react to it, if it was you that was shown a thread on an issue that you have with the person that gives it to you?

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6 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

It would have to depend on the issue I guess….

Judi's avatar

My first reaction would definitely be defensive, if I’m honest. That little embarrasment, “how dare you discuss our issues with others,” monster would well up in my tummy and most likley jump right out and bite the person’s face off.

Bellatrix's avatar

It would depend on the issue entirely and how emotionally invested I am in that issue. If it was something superficial, probably wouldn’t bother me at all. If it was something I considered personal and one of those “my partner does xxx type questions”, I would find it very hard to take I think and I would likely get very angry (at least initially and until I calmed down and thought about it).

jrpowell's avatar

In 35 years of life I can’t think of a single time I have heard two sides of an argument where the details matched.

I would probably be pissed since most of these things are one person trying to make the other person look worse while omitting the details that show that they were just as much of a dick.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

It depends. I might not be judgemental as I understand the value of Q&A sites. Strangers can view situations objectively because they are not in them. They may also be less likely to sugarcoat simply because they are strangers.

I can definitely understand why one would not want to show someone or know a thread like that is about him or her, though. There may be that whole “If you have a problem with me, you should tell me… not ask random strangers online about it!” thing. I can see how being on both sides can create discomfort as well. That being said, I think that sometimes getting the opinions of strangers can be beneficial.

If it weren’t for strangers, I probably never would have found out a boyfriend of mine was cheating…

I remember having issues with an ex-boyfriend while I was with him. I showed him a question I asked on a different Q&A site where responders made it look like he was already cheating on me or was about to (even though I had not accused him of cheating then). His response? He seemed to view those people as “retarded” and people who couldn’t possibly know what they were talking about.

The odd thing was, I found out months later, that he actually did cheat… o_O… with that very same girl…

::sigh::

So, it appears that my concern was legitimate… and it may be that he was annoyed that I was getting close to the truth… too close, in fact, for his own comfort…

YARNLADY's avatar

I’ve had it happen both ways. One person sent me a conversation about me from another site, and one person sent a conversation I had about someone else to them.

The conversation about me did not bother me, but the conversation about another person that I posted made her very angry.

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