How has rejection(in any form) affected you and have you learned anything out of it?

Yes, rejection has made me stronger and has taught me about myself. I feel that I have become tougher because of it. Not all of it matters to me as much as it used to, although there are still some things I’m afraid of. I’m talking about being rejected when it comes to being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend, though, not those other things.

There was a point when I realized that not everyone who rejects me hates me. It is quite possible that they like me and are perfectly fine with me for the most part, but just don’t view me as girlfriend material because I am not what they are looking for in a girlfriend.

What made me realize this? I have rejected guys…. guys I was totally cool with… guys I didn’t hate…. guys I found alright… guys I had fun talking to… guys I even liked, but I didn’t like them like that. I didn’t view it as fair to lead them on.

What have I learned? A guy might not be interested in being with me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he views me as a bad person.

What do I do now? I don’t view it as rejection as much as I view it as “He’s not interested in being with me.”

I don’t need to cry myself to sleep at night. I don’t need to stop eating my food. I don’t need to sulk around. I don’t need to mope.

“Rejection” happens to us all, and it’s not always a bad thing. It can even be a gift, whether we recognize that or not.

My family is full of haters. talkers.

I want to stop it for future generations, because it is so wrong.
But it is a hard war. and I’m not into battling.

Rejection from my younger years has made me hesitant nowadays.

I have been very hurt by rejection in my past. It has taught me who to go to for comfort and love—and who not to got to.

I have never really had an issue with feeling rejected. I don’t take it personally, be it a person or a job. I’m not going to be a blend for some others and they are not always going to be a blend with me. I think it is important to reframe “rejection” with ” incompatible.”

Maybe it’s because I do most of the rejecting and the few times I have been “rejected”, it has always turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Not having a neurotic need for approval and people pleasing is where it’s at. ;-)

I got rejected by my friend so many times. She was going through the whole I want a tanned, muscular, foreign guy preferrably Italian or Kroatian, who is handy, considerate and a monster in bed, phase. Yeah try to live up to that.

I am so grateful though because I found my soulmate who took me just the way I am. Rejection taught me to value myself and to keep going regardless of what life throws at you.

Oh boy.

I’m deaf, which means I started being rejected one way or another since the day I became deaf at age 3. I was also gifted, so that didn’t do me any favors with my peers. I also had ADHD, so that didn’t make me a favorite with teachers. I was put in regular schools and everyone knows just how much fun being a friendly odd duck in school is. Then throw in a high-strung, strong-willed, inquisitive and intense personality… I’m sure it was disconcerting but thank God for that personality or I’d be a quivering blob of goo.

I was also abused in one way or another on and off, starting at age 4 until I separated last year. My dad blanket-disowned his maternal side of his family, including me when I was 7. I had, up until then, been ‘daddy’s girl.’ Before that happened, his wife slapped, pinched and burned me when I was “bad.” We reconciled when I was 17 and 25, but he disowned me again both times because I wasn’t acceptable. By the time I was 13, I had serious anxiety issues with being perfect so that I would no longer be undesirable.

On 4 separate times in my life I have been fully ostracized by a community, each for different reasons. I was once almost run down by a car because I was “unworthy to live.” Somehow, I always had a little voice in me saying keep going and never, ever wanted pity (hiss!).

All that made for a person who was able to tolerate anything from others and who would give-give-give and when empty, would find ways to keep on giving. I learned to be diplomatic, obedient, to think of and put others first, and was incredibly adept at reading environments to survive and, looking back, somehow I was unbelievably resilient and tenable. Only at the very end did I lose my optimism and faith in others. I never wanted to be wrong and that goal is what kept me in the bad marriage for so long. I guess, one day about a year and half ago, I simply had enough of this bullshit.

Fast forward to now. I have worked through PTSD, rejection and abandonment issues, different forms of abuse, etc, etc… worked through what happened to create me, and I like who I am. I finally got to where I know how capable I am of liking myself, no matter what others think of me and am not dependent on others for approval, not even from my father who I’ve carefully reconciled with. I love approval, of course, just don’t go into a tailspin if I don’t get it. I only got that in the past year, really. There are things I still need to work on, some trust and self-perception issues, but it’s going to come from me, not from depending on others for approval. I realized how much rejection I had survived and, dang, I’m still on this side of the grass. I’m a stronger person for it and for whatever reason, I’m more optimistic than I should logically be and teach this to my kids everyday. And again… still don’t want no frickin’ pity or I will hiss. And I’m still a nice person!

One day recently, I finally understood what a “steel magnolia” really was.

@linguaphile I take my hat off to you! Most of us who haven’t been through any of that still can’t make anything of ourselves! (Yes, I speak for myself!)

It depends on the type of rejection. When it comes to a job or something similar I just move on because you have to, you need to have an income to survive.

When it comes to friendships/peers all I can say is that I outgrew the need to be accepted when I got out of high school and the military. I don’t go out of my way to be accepted by anybody, you either like me or you don’t.

As far as relationship/dating material goes I rarely put myself in situations where I would be rejected since unlike most guys I require a woman to already show me some type of obvious interest before I try to go further with them. This tactic usually works well for me.

I’m willing to buy the self-help nonsense of not giving up when it comes to obtaining material things but not when it comes to dealing with people. When it comes to other people I absolutely refuse to buy the notion that we should learn to practice facing rejection until we get numb to it. The way I see it people either like you or they don’t (to varying degrees) and if the other person can’t make a decent effort to get to know me back than they are not worth my time.