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lilgiraffe's avatar

What do you do if you hate your good friend's best friend?

Asked by lilgiraffe (283 points ) July 11th, 2009

And they are always together. How possible is it to maintain a friendship with one of the pair while maintaining a diplomatic distance from the other?

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13 Answers

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Why not try to meet that best friend’s friend halfway? If you two can work out your differences you might be friends too.

seekingwolf's avatar

I have this problem as well…my best friend has a really good friend who is a total bitch. We’ve hated each other since childhood…why, I don’t really know. I think it’s because she’s promiscuous, bitchy, and isn’t that smart.

I talked to my friend about it. I told her that I hate Margaret and she hates me and nothing is going to change that, and I have no desire to change that. I told her that I don’t want to put her “in the middle” because I care about her…so I would just like it if we could hang out sometimes one-on-one without Margaret…and she could do stuff with Margaret when I wasn’t around.

It worked out really well. At birthday parties, we just avoided each other and never spoke a word to the other since. It’s still that way now.

cyn's avatar

hmmm I know what you mean…
.but i just let it be.
there’s more to see
than just he….
i don’t know what i’m saying
i respect my best-friend’s friends and tend to not to get in their relationship…whatever it is

MrGV's avatar

Find another good friend?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

there has to be a way for the two of you to hang out without that other person

peyton_farquhar's avatar

If you can’t stand this other person, then don’t hang out with either of them.

Response moderated
jamielynn2328's avatar

I wouldn’t hang out with someone I don’t like. Restrict time with this friend to alone time without the other person.

kheredia's avatar

I hate my friends husband but because I love her, I’ve decided to put my feelings aside and learn how to tolerate him. You have to make sacrifices if you want to keep your good lifetime friends.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

@peyton_farquhar someone always has that answer in these types of questions. but for some reason I’ve never been a fan of the you can’t have your cake and eat it too style of thought. there’s a solution to most problems where most parties involved do win, instead of one or more becoming alienated.

My advice, you’re good friend obviously sees qualities in this person that they enjoy, if you haven’t given it an honest effort yet, I suggest really giving a go at getting to know them better, many times people dislike each other simply because a lack of understanding or certain distrust of that which is unknown exists.
If you have tried or when you do you found/find that they’re truly not your cup of tea, being formal with the person isn’t difficult if you really value your relationship with your good friend. politely avoiding meetings when it’s just your friend you and your new found anti christ, and if you must be around them try to negotiate it so that you’re in a group with outside parties that you enjoy spending time with.

cheebdragon's avatar

You do what any mature adult would do…....
you learn to deal with it.

Jack_Haas's avatar

I tell my friend not to bring his friend anywhere near me.

Response moderated

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