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Irishchic2012's avatar

Would my teacher understand this situation?

Asked by Irishchic2012 (48 points ) January 2nd, 2012

My year head / dean in school has helped me through almost everything I have had problems with and he has told me that I should never hesitate to come to him that his door is always open that he is there to support me, but also that I should try to sort out strategies for myself. the situation is as follows.. A boy in my class keeps asking me to flirt with him over text. Asking me if I still like him (cause I used to), but also in the past he has asked me to meet him outside class to touch and as he says “flirt dirty” hes been texting me asking for me to flirt with him as that would impress him he says but hes starting to freak me out i’m just really worried when I go back to school he’ll keep asking me and even start touching me, because he has asked to meet me outside toilets in school to hug and to touch my backside, this boy’s renowned for this sort of thing, and it’s not the first time he’s said this to me. i’m just really paranoid about this situation as he is in my class. I have heard about a similar situation in the year above me and the vice principal (head of pastoral care) had to ring social services about it. Will my teacher understand this situation? one of my best friends says she’ll take me up to him but I’m a little embarrassed will he mind if I say that. Please I don’t know how he will react..I have taken his advice and tried to deal with it but it’s not working, will he mind? Any ideas thanks

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12 Answers

chyna's avatar

Have you tried “This is your only warning, leave me alone or I will report you.” And then follow through. This is sexual harassment and if he has been reported before, he should not continue this behavior. He should be removed from the school if he is doing this to you and others. You seem a little shy or too quiet to speak up for yourself and this is the kind of girls he is preying on. He is going to eventually rape someone if he’s not reported.
And if you have his texts saved, your teacher would certainly understand this.

bkcunningham's avatar

@Irishchic2012, welcome to Fluther. I’m a little bit confused by your question. Do you mind telling us how old you are? How far have you gone with this boy in the past? Do you answer his texts? I’d ignore him completely and let my year head/dean know what was going on and what my plan was going to be to deal with the boy. Good luck and Happy New Year.

Sunny2's avatar

Yes, he would understand. Talk to him with or without your friend. But always remember you are in control of situations like this. Be strong and say no so it means NO. Don’t ever let yourself be talked into doing something you don’t want to do.

sarahsugs's avatar

I agree that this sounds like sexual harassment. Any kind of messages or touching that you don’t want and that make you feel uncomfortable, freaked out, and worried are unacceptable, not to mention illegal. Definitely talk to your teacher, or an adult in your family, or another adult you trust, and get some support in dealing with the situation.

Eureka's avatar

Why do you feel the need to have someone handle this for you? You are appearing weak to this creep, which is why he continues this behavior. For pete’s sake stand up to him! Tell him to leave you the hell alone, or he will be sorry, as you are going to call the police and file a report.

And why on earth would you go somewhere with him and allow him to touch you? First of all, never meet him anywhere. That’s just stupid. And if he tries to touch you when there are other people around, slap him and yell, loudly, “Stop touching me, creep!”

Time to get tough. You don’t need to run to a teacher unless you have already tried all other options. If you do not handle this yourself, it is never going to stop – as you are making yourself appear weak and a victim.

Eureka's avatar

And change your number, so he cannot text you anymore.

Judi's avatar

It sounds like you are from a different culture than those of us from the US. Are you from some place where they blame women when men act inappropriately? That might change the answers. Is there a female teacher you trust?
If you decide that it’s safe to seek counsel from the dean, make sure you show him the texts. Tell him that you would like for the harassment to stop.

LostInParadise's avatar

Have you told him to stop? If not, the first thing is to politely tell him that you are not interested in flirting with him. If he continues, then tell him that you will report him if he continues. If he still persists then by all means report him.

jazmina88's avatar

Tell him to stop. Take charge. of your own situation.

john65pennington's avatar

No matter what country you are in, this situation has gone way too far and its up to you to stop it. Here is how…........

Take a trusted friend with you and meet this person somewhere in the middle of a crowd. Have your friend secretly use your phone video camera and record the conversation. After the meeting, listen to the tape and see if its of good quality for teacher or principle to listen to or view. By doing this, you have advised an authority figure of your problem and you expect them to do something about it. If not, they are the people that will be responsible, if this occurs again. You can then go over their head to the next person in command and make a complaint, along with your video tape.

marinelife's avatar

Try these suggestions first:

First: Block the boy’s number so that he can’t text you.

Then: Enlist some of your girl friends (or guy friends) to meet you after each class and walk you to the next class. Avoid being alone in the school hallways or the restrooms.

He should get tired of no response and quit.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

It sounds like he would understand to me.

You can also tell the person to stop harassing you.

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