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Aesthetic_Mess's avatar

Do you ever belittle your problems so you don't have to deal with them?

Asked by Aesthetic_Mess (7858 points ) May 14th, 2012

Do you ever compare your problems with those of others and think that your problems and issues seem insignificant, and reason that you should not address them or the feelings that come with them because they are much less worse than other issues?

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23 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Not so much so I don’t deal with them, but it does help me put them in perspective and figure out which one’s are worth working on.

wundayatta's avatar

That seems dysfunctional to me. If you have problems, you want to deal with them, unless you are self-destructive or something. It never makes sense to try to compare your problems to others. They might be a person, but it’s still apples and oranges. We have only one life. We better deal with that life, or we’ll risk losing it.

Blackberry's avatar

It depends on the problem, for me.

elbanditoroso's avatar

I think that ‘belittle’ is the wrong term.

A lot of times, something that I (originally) thought was a BIG issue will, with analysis, turn into being something manageable if I just take it piece by pieces, step by step. It is less overwhelming if I address it a piece at a time.

So perhaps I would use the minimize instead.

I’ll also say that many (not all) problems do go away with the passage of time. Today’s crisis is tomorrow’s minor annoyance.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I guess but for perspective’s sake.

marinelife's avatar

No, I try to keep my problems in perspective, but I still work on them as it is my life they are affecting.

Coloma's avatar

No. It’s pointless to compare, it is not action oriented, it is only mental gymnastics to give yourself a false sense of comfort.
I always liked the saying ” Hang all your troubles out on a line and you’ll take yours and I’ll take mine.”
I am in process of making some critical decisions in the next 4–6 months, but, out of everyone I know I’ll take my problems over theirs.

Most everyone I know become emotional wrecks over the most humdrum non-issues. I’ll take my challenges over their neurotic bents any day of the week. lol

tups's avatar

I usually see my problems as being really big and taking a lot of space in my life, but I still ignore them, which is bad. But sometimes it can be good to put a little perspective on things – not so much for our own sake, but for the sake of the world.

SpatzieLover's avatar

No. I prefer to deal with things head on. Avoidance is a major peeve of mine.

Seaofclouds's avatar

No. If I have a problem, I feel like I have to deal with it right away. I have a hard time pushing things off.

blueiiznh's avatar

That is trying to justify their nonexistence to you because someone else is worse off. What silly concept to me. Stop making excuses for why you shouldn’t deal with things.

Nope. I have always been the type to deal with it head on. The impact to me has nothing to do with someone else’s situation.

Come out from under the rock, take the blindfold off, throw away the rose colored glasses and deal with the issue at hand.

Coloma's avatar

^ Yep, action is the only way to solve a problem. :-)

Judi's avatar

I know people who make a drama out of every little thing and I hate that. I don’t want to come across that way so I sometimes down play things with me.
I had family pretty mad when I didn’t tell them I had a hysterectomy. To them it seemed like a big deal, but I just didn’t want to be the center of drama.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I usually pretend they don’t exist, brush them under the carpet. When the dust comes out and hits me in the face things are much wo rse!!!!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No but my husband has the tendency to do this which creates some conflict, for sure.

Trying to put on a good face, trying to “not rock the boat” and thinking you’re doing anyone a favor by it is going to result in a lot of crap. Somewhere along the line, you’re going to be looked on as ineffectual, weak, disappointing, irresponsible, etc.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I never say anything bad about my ex-wife.

Symbeline's avatar

I recognize indeed that some of my problems are much smaller in scale and magnitude when compared to that of others, however, said comparison isn’t made as a way to ignore the problem. It’s still a problem if I perceive it as such and if it affects my life in some way or another.
Granted, I often do ignore or do very little about some of my issues and problems, but I don’t pretend they’re not there, or try to convince myself that they aren’t problems after all.

blueberry_kid's avatar

I do, but I really shouldn’t. I recognize when I do, and then I’ll regret 5 minutes later. I almost never procrastinate, but when I do, shame on me.

I try to take things upfront, but then I become lazy and push it aside. Like, chores.

thesparrow's avatar

Ya, I do that but that is actually good. Obsessing about your problems is not good.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Actually, I’m going to try that tonight and see if not only it works to have to deal with them but also if they can magically resolve themselves. Yes, sounds like a plan.

thesparrow's avatar

you also need to look at what is a problem. For me a problem is I’m trying to lose a few lbs for the summer. I tend to get obsessed but looking at the big picture, this is not such a big problem. If your spouse has cheated on you or you have cheated, someone in your family has died, you are having grave financial problems.. these are problems that need to be considered.

Nimis's avatar

I’m a champion procrastinator and a spectacular putter-offer. But it never has to do with comparing it to someone else’s problems. I’ve never quite understood that kind of thinking.

Paradox25's avatar

I think that what constitutes a ‘problem’ many times comes more from an outside observer rather than myself. There is a difference between having a problem vs people who think that you should just do things the way they do them. I tend to use reverse psychology in these scenerios to quiet people up, and it usually works for me.

When it does come to evaluating my problems (what I consider to be real problems personally) I tend to compare the minor ones, like work or driving related issues that irritate me, to others in much worse situations. When it comes to major problems, like the loss of a loved one, I do tell myself that I’m not the only person who has suffered a loss. I can’t say that I ever use this to avoid confronting what is bothering me though, so in that sense I’ll say no.

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