Social Question

rebbel's avatar

Renewing wedding vows: Why?

Asked by rebbel (23527 points ) May 21st, 2012

In the past year I have heard multiple times of (mainly celebrity) couples renewing their wedding vows.
Mariah Carey has done it a few times, or so I believe I have heard.
Do(es) the first time promise(s) lose their worth after a certain period of time?
Is one half of the couple not so sure anymore about the trustworthiness of the other half?
Is it a trend/hype?
Or maybe it is quite normal and are there legitimate/serious reasons to do so?
What gives?

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17 Answers

marinelife's avatar

It’s a kind of renewal and celebration.

Charles's avatar

Sounds like a good way to burn a few thousand dollars.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I think it’s a way for people to affirm that getting married was the right decision, that if they had it to do all over again, they would. Many couples are still together because breaking up would mean a divorce, moving out, both losing money, not because they are fully invested mentally in the marriage.

I know my aunt and uncle renewed their vows because the Renaissance Fair was doing them for $25 on their 15th wedding anniversary.

ucme's avatar

Think of it as an M.O.T for those manacled in wedlock.
Sort of a five year service check.

Blackberry's avatar

Some people love meaning, significance, and place very high importance on verbal agreements.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I 2nd @Aethelflaed. I think most people get married now (I know I did) having been told countless times that “most people will divorce in the first few years, you know that right?” and so renewing the vows feels good, like you’re in the lucky percentage. Also, in reference to @Charles, some people enjoy throwing a party to be able to celebrate with people they share great things with. My husband and I are that sort and have talked about such a renewal party down the line.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Most of the time, couples do a vow renewal ceremony on your 20th or 25th wedding anniversary. I think it’s sweet, and I’m already semi-sorta planning ours, haha. Doing one after 1 year or 5 years is just dumb to me.

Sunny2's avatar

After the kids are grown, you look at each other, warts and all. If you still want to go on together, you may want to do it formally by renewing your vows. I can understand that. It’s special.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

The only woman I know who renewed her vows was a hugely overweight woman who lost a ton of weight. She was incredibly stunning after weight loss, she could have been a model. I think it was the first time she got a lot of male attention.

She cheated on her husband with an extremely buff guy, then regretted her action. She then asked her husband to renew the vows. I do not know if she admitted the affair.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s fun. I’ve done it twice at celebrations that were set up and run by other people. Celebrities probably do it for publicity.

tedibear's avatar

My niece and her husband are doing this in a couple of weeks. When they married 5 years ago, it was a quick ceremony in their pastor’s office with just one witness. It was all they could afford at the time. Now, they’re in better financial shape and want to have the wedding and reception that they would have had before.

wundayatta's avatar

The people who I know who have done it generally do it at 25 years of marriage, or so. I think they want to tell each other that they feel the same as they did in the beginning, even after all these years. That is a really big deal, and is worthy of celebration, I think.

It’s hard for me to imagine feeling that way about my wife again. A lot has changed. I love her very much, but not at all the same way I loved her when we started. I think that I would do different vows now—not a renewal of the old ones. Those vows were right then. But they are not right for me, now. They were not vows I could keep.

That’s water under a bridge. My wife and I dealt with it. We deal with it. It’s an ongoing thing. Our marriage will always be a work in progress. But I don’t think vow renewal is in the cards for us. New vows, perhaps. But I’m not going back to the old ones. I was wrong about them.

I wonder how many celebrities feel the same thing. And if they do feel them, would they admit it? And if they did admit it, would they still want to stay married? And if they still wanted to be married, would they change the agreement?

JLeslie's avatar

I like the idea. It says you are still very happy to be married to each other. It’s an excuse for a nice big party. Weddings are romantic and fun so why not? I don’t think most people do it because they are surprised they didn’t get divorced because of some statistic. I thinkmost people do it because they like being married to each other.

Trillian's avatar

What’s the word…publicity. Yeah, I’m feeling really cynical tonight.

tranquilsea's avatar

My hubby and I have been mulling over renewing our vows when we hit the 20 year mark (in 2 years). I’d like to because I love him more now than I did when I married him. We’ve been through hell and back and we made it through because we relied on one another…always.

I could imagine a life without him when we were first married but now I could not. I’d be a basket case if he were to ever die. I’d like the opportunity to convey that (more tactfully than I did here).

rooeytoo's avatar

I’m not particularly sentimental, I am not a fan of big lavish weddings and I think vow renewals are silly. I especially thought it was silly when the singer Seal and his wife made a big deal out of renewing vows every year or so and then split a couple of months after the last renewal. Apparently that one had an expiration date!

But for those who like that sort of thing, it is a nice gesture.

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