General Question

skateangel's avatar

Why isn't adding friends of friends allowed on Facebook?

Asked by skateangel (298 points ) July 20th, 2012

I’ve been trying to get to know more people from my area on Facebook (since I’m too shy to talk to them in real life) so I sent friend requests for friend of friends but now I found out that that’s not allowed? I got a message saying you can’t add people you don’t know in real life..but is it okay to add friends of friends since they show up my find friends list anyway?

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9 Answers

trailsillustrated's avatar

You have to send a ‘request’. They have to accept or not. That’s how it works. You do it with their name, from their profile. You can request anybody you want, if you can find their profile on fb.

athenasgriffin's avatar

It is allowed, but I wouldn’t suggest it. Just search them and find the friend request button on their profile. But remember, these people don’t know you, and would probably find it weird if you, a stranger to them even though you have mutual friends, added them and started trying to talk to them without any reason to. I know I would.

AshlynM's avatar

Although I’ve never ever seen that error on my profile, I have heard of it. I think that happens to prevent spam attacks. I think if you wait a day or two, you’ll be able to add that friend again and not get that message error.

jca's avatar

Try accomodating the request with a personal message (“pm”) telling them what you have in common – “We both went to Tom Thumb High School” and see if that works.

downtide's avatar

If you send someone a friends requuest and they decline with the comment that they don’t know you in real life, that gets flagged up to Facebook staff. Too many of those and your account gets banned.

hearkat's avatar

I’m pretty sure my son met his girlfriend by searching Facebook for people in our town after we moved here, and sending friend requests – but that was over a year ago, so I don’t know if they’ve changed the rules. I do know that within a person’s own profile, one can choose the setting to not allow strangers to send messages or friend requests.

I don’t think that Facebook is the best vehicle for that, though… I think people would find it a bit creepy. See if your municipality or county has a website, and on there you might find links for other sites related to your region that may have a forum or the opportunity to comment on articles that are posted. Or do a web search for forums related to your particular interests, and once you establish yourself in a community, you could search within it for people from your geographic area, or perhaps even host a get-together near you.

For me, I learned to be less shy and get to know more people by joining Meetup.com, which is a site that hosts groups by region based on common interest, such as hiking; book clubs; fans of different authors, movies, genres, etc.; motorcycle clubs; yoga; urban exploration; pretty much anything you could want. You set up your profile, type in your interests, and search radius for your location, and they will lists groups in that area.

Meetup made a big difference for me. I was living in the same area I’d been all my life, but I had been a single mom with a career, so once my son was grown and my career was established, I wanted to get out of the house. But I only have the one close friend, and I’ve never been comfortable in social situations. I had to force myself out of my comfort zone by reminding myself that most people have some degree of awkward feelings when meeting new people. I had gotten past the point of caring about what others think of me, so I went in with the mindset that I’d be myself and there will be some that I’ll ‘click’ with and others that I don’t. (I learned to do this with dating, too – expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed)

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I suspect that @AshlynM is on the right track. Here is some information from The Facebook Help Site.

I am blocked from sending friend requests. Facebook is a place for connecting with people you know, like your friends, family, classmates and coworkers. If you’ve been blocked from sending friend requests, it may be because friend requests you’ve sent have gone unanswered or been marked as unwelcome. This block will also block your ability to send messages to people who aren’t your confirmed friends. Note that this block is temporary. Learn more about this block and our policies.

It would be helpful to know what the exact message said, as there are other reasons why you aren’t being allowed. Or…just read the rules of the site. It may answer the question.

Seelix's avatar

For what it’s worth, anytime I get a friend request from someone I don’t know, I won’t accept it. Even if we have friends in common. It’s just creepy.

Aspoestertjie's avatar

I accept only friend requests from people I have mutual friends with. There are way too many creepy people out there. The best way is to get to know people in real life and then ask to join their FB pages. There is nothing wrong with being shy. What you need to know is that people will always have their opinions of you no matter if you are shy or not. Just do it. :) You will need to go to their profiles directly and do a friend request there.

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