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ZEPHYRA's avatar

Gentlemen: have you or anyone you become a father at the age of 50 and over?

Asked by ZEPHYRA (15133 points ) August 16th, 2012

Do you know anyone who has fathered a child at 50 or over? Comments/Views?

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10 Answers

El_Cadejo's avatar

I always feel bad for the kids. They miss out on so much stuff with their parents because of their age and inability to do those things anymore. They also have to deal with their parents getting old and dying a lot sooner than the rest of us.

Judi's avatar

I have a friend who became a dad around 50. He is more into his kid than most 30 yo dads I know and he can afford to show him the world. People are living older now. The kid could easily be in his 30’s before his dad dies, and judging by their health, dad will probably outlive mom who was 40.

DrBill's avatar

only myself

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Yes a guy that I worked with ten years ago. He had three grown kids ( in their twenties and thirties ). Married a lady as old as his oldest child, had a boy . His plan was to retire early ( at 62 or so he was 55 ) had a good paying job and great pension, he was retired Navy with over twenty in the service.

Fyrius's avatar

My aunt and uncle have two young kids that they got around that age, about a decade ago.
They do often seem tired. Let’s not jump to conclusions, but I wonder if it would have been easier on them if they’d gotten children at a younger age.

geeky_mama's avatar

I know of two cases – one a colleague/friend, the other my uncle.

In both cases they have no regrets about having kids at their age. (One had twins a few years ago at about age 52, and my uncle has a 15 yr. old and is in his mid-sixties now.)
Though, my colleague does say she thinks their age makes the experience a lot more tiring than it would have been if they’d had the twins in their 20s or 30s.

What I’ve seen is that older parents tend to be at their peak years of earning – which means they tend to have greater financial resources and have to really work at not spoiling their children (who tend to grow up wanting for nothing—except perhaps more of their parents’ time).
Also, the experience is different if you’ve had children (and now perhaps they’re grown) before or not. If you’ve had kids before it’s easier to be a bit more laid-back the second time around..even if a decade or two have passed since the last time.

My uncle’s kids have traveled the world a lot more extensively than his son from his first marriage (now in his late 40s) did. So..there is that, too.

I think it also helps that all the folks that I know have all had (or are currently in) very good health.

TheIntern55's avatar

My uncle was 52 when my cousin was born. I think my aunt was 43. He’s actually a pretty good father, except, as @geeky_mama said, he’s a fancy New York lawyer and his kid IS spoiled.
But his father also used to be in a rock band in the 80’s and he taught his son 3 instruments and his knowledge of history and politcs. So the kid is smart and his father can afford to send him to a nice private school and they spend every weekend together…..I think that he’s a pretty good father. He doesn’t seem to tired, either, probably because it’s his only child and he wants to have a good relationship with his son, so it’s exciting for him.

zenvelo's avatar

One of my fraternity brothers didn’t get married until he was 46. His oldest was born when we were 48, the second when we were 50. He is one of the “youngest” guys in our group, and very active.

He works afternoon/ evenings for a TV station in Los Angeles, so he is with the boys every morning, takes them to school, and helps in the classroom in the mornings. He’s a great dad.

wundayatta's avatar

I was 44 for my youngest birth. I don’t have a problem with older dads. They are supposed to be calmer and better parents for no longer needing to prove themselves. Of course, they can’t run as fast. I don’t think that such a big deal. I can still ride a bike faster and longer than my son can. I do look forward to the day when he can tire me out, though.

Bellatrix's avatar

A friend of mine told me the other day she is pregnant and her partner is over 50 and it’s his first. I will report back over the years to come.

My boss would have been close to 50 when he had his son (his first child). His boy is now a teenager and they play sport together and his dad is very active.

I agree with @Judi that people are living longer and are usually healthier so I don’t think it is such a problem now. Older people are likely to be less harried by the worries of life too. They have usually (yes in the second case/not in the first) established themselves financially and are well established in their career. When you are younger, struggling to pay off a house, manage your own life, it can be hard to be as patient as you might. So, I think being older can have some benefits too.

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