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IzzyAndHerBeans's avatar

Why do I feel like college isn't the right place for me?

Asked by IzzyAndHerBeans (353 points ) October 23rd, 2012

I thought I’d love college and it’d be the best time of my life. Instead of feeling like that, I feel like I’m being dragged into a monotonous world with classes I don’t particularly like and a schedule that doesn’t tend to my needs. I don’t like it here and I’m considering going back to community college so that I’m not wasting my parents money.

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13 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Only you can answer this, and it seems you have. Between your lack of enthusiasm and concern for not wasting your folks money, I think you are showing some great personal insight and regard for your parents. My opinion will not be a popular one, but, I am a strong advocate of self awareness and not forcing oneself to go against their true desires. You can always re-evaluate at a later date. If you have to FORCE yourself to do anything, aside from some basic self discipline, that’s a huge clue that you are not honoring yourself.

Better to quit and return to a community college than to risk wasting your time, your parents finances and possibly a depression as well. One can never truly excel in anything that their heart is not fully engaged in.

gailcalled's avatar

Your feelings are yours. Trust them

“I don’t like it here” has absolutely no ambiguity about it.

ThrownRiverStone's avatar

Maybe you should talk to a counselor or therapist at your school. They might be able to help you make changes to your schedule or housing. Sometimes little improvements to the basics can help a lot. If you think you just need a break they might be able to help you with that as well.

It amazes me how poor many people’s experiences tend to be at even very expensive schools. I know that there’s sympathy for people having a hard time, though. You should be able to find some useful support if you choose to keep trying.

Shippy's avatar

Which part don’t you like? The subjects, the place, the social life? Those can be changed. But if you really don’t want to be there, leave. Life is too short to waste time on being unhappy.

wundayatta's avatar

It might not be that college is wrong, but that this particular college is not right for you. How did you choose college? How well is it matched to your personality and interests? It sounds like not so much. Of course, you may not be able to afford a college that would be better matched. In which case, that’s kind of sad.

On the other hand, college may not be for you. Perhaps you want a vocational school. Maybe an art school. Maybe you want to go meditate in India.

There is no set path through life. And without really knowing your situation a lot better, I can’t answer this personally. Only theoretically. But you knew this, already.

marinelife's avatar

How long have you been going? Is this your first year? If it is, I think you should give it some time. It is a big change.

What about changing your major if you don’t like your classes? Have you made friends?

Mariah's avatar

Yeah, I’d say give it more time if this is only your second month of college (that is, if you’re a freshman). I hated it at first, every day was a struggle, and now I love, love, love it. Not saying that kind of change will happen to everyone, but it certainly can happen, and if you’re interested in continuing college you ought to give it a chance to possibly happen to you.

Sunny2's avatar

If you are not interested in your courses, perhaps you’ve chosen the wrong college path for yourself. Talk to a counselor ASAP. The counseling department may clarify things for you o you can make a decision. You can always quit and go back or change colleges. You’re not alone. There are people on campus who can help.

tedd's avatar

If it’s your first year, give it time.

If you’re a year or two in, then maybe that type of college isn’t for you. Maybe going to school from home or something along those lines is more for you.

YARNLADY's avatar

Discuss your feelings and your goals with the school advisor. You need a professional opinion based on your specific case.

Bellatrix's avatar

Do give it a little time. It takes a while to find your feet and to be sure you are in the right course, to make friends and to get used to all the systems. Speak to a college counsellor about what options you have in terms of your choice of course. Speak to your lecturers too. Try to pin point what it is you don’t actually like to see if those elements can be changed. Do this soon so you have a chance to make some tweaks and see if that helps. If after a semester you still don’t feel it’s for you, then you can talk about moving back to your community college. I would also say consider what your long term goal is. Where was this degree taking you? Can your community college get you to where you want to be in the future? If your long term aspirations haven’t changed, try to make a choice that won’t affect your future opportunities. That may mean trying a different college again. See if you can connect in with people who are studying in your chosen field but in different places. That might give you some insight into further options.

livelaughlove21's avatar

College certainly isn’t for everyone, and I’m a firm believer in doing whatever you feel is best for you. However, I’m also a firm believer in thinking these through thoroughly before making a huge life-altering decision like this. I see that you’re not making a rash decision because you are asking for unbiased advice, and that’s great. I can’t tell you what decision to make, but maybe my thoughts/questions will help you in some small way.

I’m currently a Junior in college. I started off at a small technical school majoring in nursing. Over a year in, I decided to switch majors. I was very unhappy and, while nursing is a great career, I realized I jumped into it for the money and I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life doing that. That’s why I believe that if you’re unhappy, do something about it. Life is too short to waste it doing something you hate. I’m now at a big university studying Psychology and Criminal Justice. It’s taking 2 years longer to graduate, but I’m much happier with this. I want to go into probation and parole, something that requires a degree, and then who knows? I’m now excited about my future, though I constantly have to defend my decision to people.

Now, my husband graduated high school and decided not to go to college. He job-hopped for awhile, but now he makes good money doing something he really likes. This is his career and he didn’t need college to get it.

Now, for the moral of the story. My thoughts…
1) Think about your future. Do you need a degree to get where you want to go?
2) If you need/want a degree, will the community college get you there?
3) What things do you not like about the school? What exactly were you expecting that you were disappointed about?
4) Do you find your classes interesting? Do you think your major is the right one for you?
5) How long have you been there? If you’re a freshman, think about giving it some time.
6) What are the pros and cons of staying vs leaving? Which has the most benefits?

My friend went away to college and was miserable for most of her freshman year. She hated it, she didn’t know anyone, and she even thought about quitting. She graduated last year and now says she wishes she could go back. She ended up loving it once she adjusted.

You just need to decide what your priorities are. Is it about the degree, your social life, a prospective career, bettering yourself, etc? If you can get the same degree for less money at a community college, go for it. Just make sure you know WHY you make that decision. Not just “I don’t like it”, but WHY that’s the case.

rooeytoo's avatar

Why do you want to switch to a different college? If you don’t like it, you don’t like it, a community college will not be any better. If you do not have a specific career in mind which requires letters after your name, just head out into the world and get a job. To me college only delayed my getting started on my real life. If you later decide you want to go back to school you can do it then.

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