General Question

Facade's avatar

Should I just pay this myself?

Asked by Facade (22833 points ) April 21st, 2010

I just received notice of an unexpected bill from my university for a little over $100. I have the means to pay this (not comfortably, but I could if I had no other choice). The thing is, my parents are the ones paying for my education.

Should I call them and ask them to pay it, or should I just use my own money?

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37 Answers

justn's avatar

If it were me, I’d tell them about it and offer to pay it.

Facade's avatar

@justn That would just be me breaking down a damn holding back condescending remarks of how grown up I think I am since I moved out and am (recently) 21, and guilt trips about how I don’t need them anymore… I’ve been stressed out enough for one day.

Snarp's avatar

This is one of those questions where the details are irrelevant. Any time you find yourself asking “Should I just pay this myself?” the answer is almost certainly yes.

FutureMemory's avatar

@Facade Are you saying they would be insulted etc. if you paid the bill?

eden2eve's avatar

What @justn said.

It’s wonderful that your parents were willing and able to do that for you. I think that they would want to know, since they were involved with the financial aspect of your education, but it’s nice that you are stepping up and taking some responsibility for this yourself. I think that I’d be pleased if I was your parent.

They may, of course, offer to take it on themselves, but at least you offered.

@Facade , it sounds like youm are dealing with some disfunctional family stuff, saybe o the above wouldn’t work for you. We can never generalize about things like this, unfortunately.

Facade's avatar

@FutureMemory Yes.
@eden2eve Yea… I just don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to save $100.

clubby's avatar

Hey I’m new on Fluther. I think you should pay it, it is only fair. Have a good day.

Facade's avatar

@clubby How would them paying it, allowing me to have extra money for groceries etc., be _un_fair?

KatawaGrey's avatar

Saving a hundred dollars would be nice, but is it worth having unnecessary contact with your parents? That extra hundred dollars would be nice but it sounds to me like you have some issues with your parents that make this a much more complex situation than either pay it or don’t pay it. If you went to your parents and asked them to pay it, how would they react?

clubby's avatar

@Facade I think you should pay it, not your parents. They brought you into this wonderful world. Have a good day.

Cupcake's avatar

Do they have email? You could email them about the bill and ask them if they would prefer to pay it, send you the money for it, or have you pay it yourself.

I usually choose to distance myself from my dad through email.

Facade's avatar

@KatawaGrey They would say “ok, here’s my credit card info” (along with random guilt trips and below-the-belt punches).
@Cupcake I should have said ‘mother’ instead of ‘parents.’ I’d never email my dad about this, and my mom doesn’t do well with technology.

Cupcake's avatar

@Facade Oh well. Good luck with whatever you choose. $100 to a college student is a lot of money… but if it’s not worth the hassle then just pay it. You could always just think about it for a week or so before you decide.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Facade: That doesn’t sound like much fun. If you do decide to ask them to pay it, I would suggest using some of that money to reward yourself for having to deal with your parents.

Personally, I’m pretty divided on this point. Good luck with your decision making.

tedibear's avatar

@Facade – Just a random thought. Is it possible to pay the bill in two installments? It might be easier on your budget. I would hate for you to have more parental stress.

Facade's avatar

@Cupcake I have until the end of the week to get them the money.
@KatawaGrey Yea, I’m divided too.
Thanks for the well wishes :)

@tedibear39 This is me paying in installments. I actually owe them about $1300. I’m absolutely going to contact my parents about the remaining balance from the $100 payment. I’m just undecided about whether or not to ask them for the $100.

Seek's avatar

@Facade

Sounds like you’re going to get grief from your parents no matter what you do. If I were in the situation, I’d keep the money, since paying it isn’t going to save me the hassle of being berated or insulted. I feel your pain, truly.

tinyfaery's avatar

Do you still need them or not? If you do, then you have to put up with all that comes along with it.

Facade's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Yea, I was beginning to think the same thing. Since I have to let them know of future payments regardless, I might as well call now.
And my parents aren’t horrible people, they just lack knowledge and understanding of some things, including a healthy parent-child relationship.

john65pennington's avatar

If your parents are footing the bill for everything else, give them a little break this time and pay the $100 yourself. be thankful you have both parents that can afford to send you to college.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Facade I think @Seek_Kolinahr has a great point.

If your parents are going to pay the rest of the bill anyway then just tell them about the entire 1,300 and that the first 100.00 is due next week. I don’t see how you paying that first 100.00 is going to make much of a difference. Except to you, to buy food!

Jeruba's avatar

Essentially you would be paying $100 for the privilege of not mentioning it to them. Is it worth that to you or not? It’s your call.

Zen_Again's avatar

@clubby Welcome to fluther. You’ll fit right in.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

@Facade, pay it. That’s a step towards separation. If you pay it, you’re an adult who recognizes that your parents are generous enough by paying your tuition when you no longer live at home. If you ask them to pay it, you’re still their dependent child, who happens to live with her boyfriend, but really can’t make it on your own.

So it’s peanut butter and tuna for the next week. Welcome to the club.

evandad's avatar

I need more information. If it’s part of your schooling costs then have your folks pay it. If it’s a bill for dorm damages you get to pay it.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I second @Jeruba, will the peace of mind by paying it yourself and not incurring any nagging or insult bring you more positive than having an extra $100. in your pocket?

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’d pay it and not give my parents the opportunity to make me feel guilty about it. Freedom from their guilt trips would definitely be worth the $100 and eating Ramen for a few weeks.

Facade's avatar

Update: I called my mom and told her what was going on. She had no problem with it and only commented on the fact that I don’t call her very often. Not too bad lol. She even threw in an extra hundred in my bank account. I definitely need it.

KatawaGrey's avatar

Glad to hear it!

Response moderated (Spam)
Jeruba's avatar

I really like hearing how these stories turn out. Thanks, @Facade, and I’m glad it was a favorable outcome, too.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What’s your mom’s number @Facade! I need a extra $100!
I hope you started calling her more often!

Facade's avatar

Just talked to her today =)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well good! Tell her I said “Hi” and she done good (to have raised a daughter like you!) :)

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