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Deshi_basara's avatar

How can I get the real me back?

Asked by Deshi_basara (396 points ) November 5th, 2012

Lately I have been feeling docile and sluggish. I don’t want to say I’m depressed, because I’ve been there and this is not the same. I guess lately I feel like I’ve lost my edge. I’ve lost a lot of my drive to be the best, I’ve lost the anger that pushed me when I failed, I’ve lost the rage that I could let out when I needed a push. I still have a great deal of things that I could use as fuel, like an abusive, user “best friend”, getting abandoned by my roommate constantly, getting screwed out of $1k by the local parking office. It’s not that I don’t have the things I used to use; I just don’t have the desire to get fired up anymore.

tl;dr Feel like I have no testosterone anymore. Can someone help my get my coconuts back?

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13 Answers

Coloma's avatar

Maybe you don’t need to get your coconuts back..maybe you are learning to let go and are making a developmental leap into the ” none of the zen-ish ” none of this stuff really matters” zone.
When one is ready to transform shift happens.
Wise men know how to pick their battles and when to wave the white flag of surrender.

Deshi_basara's avatar

Interesting point and I do see the validity in what you’re saying. I guess I may not have been very clear with my mindset though. I dont take my aggression out on others (often), I use it to push myself further. I inturnalize a lot and use it as fule to either study to get better scores, to increase my lifting maxes, to play harder/smarter either on the field or online.

I don’t want to be an angry person. And I haven’t been for a long time (thanks to Tai Chi), I just want that drive back. I don’t want to just keep giving up like I have been…

Coloma's avatar

@Deshi_basara Oops, ignore my half finished and repetitive sentence above. It’s still early over here. lol
Well..healthy anger can be motivating, maybe you are slightly depressed. It is true that we are usually our own worst enemies, pushing oneself too hard for perfectionism is just as bad as being stuck in inertia. Maybe the question is ” why do you think your “self” is not good enough as it is without feeling the need for incessant self competition?”

Maybe what you call ” giving up” is really your psyches way of telling you to take a break from all your “shoulds.”
Don’t should on yourself! ;-)

LuckyGuy's avatar

How old are you? Are you taking meds? I am member of a prostate cancer support group.and some of the guys with low testosterone sound just like you. If your T level is low you can feel just as you described.
I am not a doctor an don’t play one on TV so don’t listen to what I say…..
Try drinking heavily caffeinated coffee or chewing caffeine gum for a day or two. See if that makes a difference. If you feel better you have an answer. If not, can you get a blood test? T level can be adjusted and can make a huge difference in your life.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sometimes I feel the same way, that’s when I know something is wrong with me, lol. Seriously, when I get apathetic it means I need a break or mini-vacation or honestly, a ‘rager’ to drink everything off my mind for a while (I drink very rarely.)

Deshi_basara's avatar

I am 23, sorry. Sometimes my persistence to protect my anonymity proves itself to be dual bladed. Better responses to your answers to come.

Deshi_basara's avatar

Honestly, from a young age I guess I was conditioned to think that I was never good enough. I was never enough for anyone; unfortunately that sentiment was pretty much enforced by everyone I’ve ever met. Well, almost everyone. There have been a few that saw me as enough, but they proved to not be what I was looking for.
Mind may lead to the destruction or salvation of a man, but I ask what is to become of the one who finds one in the other? Can destruction be salvation? Can salvation lead to destruction? I honestly don’t want to figure out the answers to those questions. Rather, I wish to be strong enough in every sense to face either without falter.

Or at least that’s what just played in my mind. Making sense of that last part will definitely lead somewhere.

I’m not on prescription meds. I take a multivitamin, vit D, Glucose pills when my knee acts up, and about 3G or omega3’s on top of my diet. I’ll give a super dose of caffeine a shot. If that doesn’t work then I’ll ask a doctor about it, thank you.

Drinking does make me angry, but not controllably so. (I tend to shy away from it as well). Other than that, my life is pretty much a vacation. I have a good job, college degree, no debt, a few vehicles, no obligations. I pretty much do whatever I want, but who knows. Maybe life is just getting stagnant.

Before judgment is passed; I earned what I have, mommy and daddy didn’t hand it to me.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Deshi_basara OK so maybe low T is not your problem – but it could be. Do you have a girlfriend? If not, get busy. At 23 you should be working that prostate. It’s a part of life and will give you more energy and drive than you’d expect.

If you are LBGT or whatever alphabet soup you want, just replace “girlfriend” with the appropriate letter designation. The rest of the advice is the same.

Deshi_basara's avatar

@LuckyGuy Well that is an awkward way to put that… I do have a girlfriend, but were not at that point yet. Plus shes a virgin so I dont wanna push. Though I do see where you’re coming from…. It’s been a dry season for about 6 months, if you know what I mean…. H’m.

I’m straight, but on behalf of my gay friends, thanks for the consideration.

augustlan's avatar

Maybe anger is not your best bet for motivation, and you’re in a time of transition. Maturing out of that phase. Perhaps you could look for other ways to be motivated…ways that are healthier. Figure out what you want, and why you want it and work from there.

rooeytoo's avatar

Why don’t you get some counseling. Find one you like and just talk it out. I really don’t think getting laid is the answer to all problems and a dry spell is not necessarily a bad thing. You sound as if you are in some sort of malaise. I personally have found, for me, that lethargy breeds lethargy, I would start getting some hard exercise, and then just get into it. Have a game plan for each day, even if you don’t get it all done, you will not sit around wondering what to do, you do what is on your plan.

Shippy's avatar

Find a new passion, one that pleases you, do something different. Learn a new skill in relation to this passion. That could fire up the engines of a little motivation for the other parts of your life.

tinyfaery's avatar

You are never not yourself. To be somebody else is impossible.

I’d recommend examining your new way of thinking and feeling. We are constantly changing, forever in flux. Perhaps you are becoming a new, better you.

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