Social Question

jca's avatar

Can you help me with this dilemma regarding what to do about this situation re: party invite?

Asked by jca (28107 points ) January 27th, 2013

About two weeks ago, my 5 year old daughter was saying that her classmate was having a party at a popular kids’ venue at the mall (bear store) and that the whole class was invited. She did not know the day the party was on, but she said that the birthday girl told the class and that they were all invited and that the party was that weekend.

Since we did not receive an invitation, we could not verify what she was talking about, and children often get their facts incorrect anyway, but I was concerned that the invitation was given to her and that somehow it was misplaced (as little kids can do very easily). I had the mom’s email address in my work computer, so that Monday I emailed the mom, who I have never met, and said “I’m so sorry if we missed the invitation to your daughter’s party. ______ (my daughter) said ______(her daughter) said the whole class was invited, and that it was this weekend, but she did not know the day. If you ever send an invitation and you don’t hear from us, please feel free to email me, as it’s possible it got lost.” The mom emailed back and said yes, there was a party this weekend, which was the family party and there is going to be a party that the whole class is invited to, at the bear store, on February 3, and she’s just not sent the invites out yet. I responded that my daughter will definitely be attending, she loves parties, see you then, etc.

Since that email exchange, we have not received an invitation. February 3rd is now less than a week away, so I would think if the mom did invitations she would have sent them out by now. I asked my daughter if she got an invitation to the party and she said no. I would have thought if the mom did regular paper invites, she would have sent one home with my daughter, regardless of our email exchange (but that’s just me). My question is, should I email the mom to confirm that the party is still on (as she told me it was in our first email exchange), or should we just show up at the bear store at the time she told me on February 3rd, or should we not go at all?

If you think I should email the mom to confirm, how should I word it?

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14 Answers

DrBill's avatar

It sounds like you got an e-mail invite and confirmed it. Just show up as scheduled.

gailcalled's avatar

You can verify with another mom, perhaps, but the the party girl’s mom’s email to you was straightforward enough. Just show up.

glacial's avatar

Can you ask a fellow mom? You’re probably not the only one in your circle with this question.

@gailcalled You always beat me to the punch!

Judi's avatar

I would make up a reason to call or email. I might say that I was purchasing a gift for the party and wanted to know what size or what color or if she already had something. That way if she decided not to have the party she would have an opportunity to tell you.

Shippy's avatar

She did say the whole class was invited, and you confirmed attendance.

JLeslie's avatar

Did she give you the time of the party in the email? Then you have all the info and I would consider yourself invited and that you have RSVP’d. The mom might have not done an invitation for you since you already confirmed. Or, possibly the child is going to give out the invitations in class today.

I agree with the people above that if you still feel uneasy you can make an excuse to email her again about a gift idea. Or, ask another classmates mom you or closer to if they received the invitation. Or, you can call the bear store and make sure the event is scheduled and confirmed if you feel like the mom might be a space cadet.

Do you have any worry your daughter would be excluded? Or, are just concerned about the RSVP?

Gabby101's avatar

I would call the store just to be sure it’s really happening.

I’m a pretty casual person, but I think the disregard for all etiquette these days leads to a lot of social awkwardness.

jonsblond's avatar

I’ve received many party invitations for my daughter with less than a week advance warning. I have a feeling you’ll probably receive the invitation today. I would wait a bit longer before contacting the mother again. That seems a bit pushy to me since you have already exchanged emails and you don’t really know the mom. I think a call to the bear store is a good suggestion if you don’t receive the invitation.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’d call the store and verify the party is still on and then just show up. My guess is the mom has 25 other things in the fire and is a little frazzled. Accept the email as your invitation.

marinelife's avatar

I would plan to go. You can either call the store or ask another mother in the class. I agree that the woman is beyond casual to the point of useless.

gailcalled's avatar

(What’s a “bear” store?)

Judi's avatar

@gailcalled, I think it’s “Build a Bear Workshop.”

Pachy's avatar

”...I think the disregard for all etiquette these days leads to a lot of social awkwardness.”

@Gabby101, I so agree.

jca's avatar

@gailcalled: I didn’t want to put the name of the store and the date together, just in case (paranoid me) someone close to the mom or the mom herself ever googles the store name and date, I didn’t want this thread to come up. @judi nailed it – it’s a very popular place with little kids.

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