Social Question

poisonivy33's avatar

How to handle a long distance relationship with a big time difference?

Asked by poisonivy33 (20 points ) January 31st, 2013

I’ve been with my love for 3 years, often where we’ve been separated for 2–3 months at a time.
This time though, I’m moving to Australia, whilst he stays in NYC, and neither of us are willing or ready to give up and move on, we love each other too much.
We know we will see each other again in six months, but the distance and time difference are greater than what we’ve ever experienced. Any tips on how to handle it?
I know the phrase “If you love something, let it go”, but we don’t want to, life is better when we are in each others lives, even if its through a computer screen.

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6 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Why does one of you not try to stay either in NYC or in Aussie Land? I don’t see why you don’t go ahead and make the big step to be together permanently.

rooeytoo's avatar

When my husband and I first met I was on the east coast of the USA and he was in Australia. That is usually a 14 hour time difference (depending on the time of the year). But I would stay up at night and he would get up in the morning and we would talk. At that point in time (16 years ago) there was no Skype or any talking on the puter, just typing. We did that for a couple of years before we decided to get together permanently. It is doable, not ideal but love can sometimes conquer all!

wundayatta's avatar

Skype is your friend. You will be meeting in the mornings and evenings whenever it is convenient. My sister lives in China, which is about a 12 hour difference from me, and it seems like i am seeing her online all the time.

Of course, there’s gchat, too, if you don’t want to use skype.

And texting and phone calls still work. Six months really isn’t that long a time. And there are a lot of things you can do over video, if you know what I mean. ;-)

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

It’s very much cliche’ but since you both want to make it work, the best way to handle it is one day at a time. Don’t think about it in terms of “I have to wait ‘x’ amount of days or ‘x’ amount of months until I see him.” That can sometimes overwhelm the strongest of wills. Instead, every morning when you wake up tell yourself that you have to make it through that day without seeing him.

I know it’s easier said than done, but sometimes it’s the only way I’ve kept my sanity. Good luck to you!

beckk's avatar

A friend of mine is in the Air Force, we met about a year and a half ago. From our first conversation we both knew there was something there, but unfortunately we couldn’t really act on it. We’ve never been in the same place at the same time, but we have managed to keep in touch. We Skype and text all the time. We’ve practically built our friendship through a computer screen, while it may not be ideal we haven’t given up. He’s leaving for Germany at the end of the month and he’ll be gone for two years. Last time he left it was only for six months, but we still talked all the time using Facebook messenger and Skype. We didn’t grow apart at all with him being gone, technology saved us.

Believe it or not, I consider you lucky. You’ve already built a relationship together, and while it may be hard at first, you two will be fine. There are many ways you can keep in touch, the time difference may seem like a huge burden, but it’s not as bad as you may think. Talk on a regular basis. Designate a time for Skype at least once a week, if possible. Six months will end before you know it.

envidula61's avatar

A big time difference, if it’s halfway around the world, is pretty convenient, actually. Morning and night are great times to connect. And if one of you likes morning sex and the other likes nighttime sex, it is perfect!

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