Social Question

Pinkpastelrainbow's avatar

My boyfriend is being too sweet lately?

Asked by Pinkpastelrainbow (150 points ) January 31st, 2013 from iPhone

It’s been 1 year and a couple of months. I know very well now and I love him. He says that he’s not the romantic type when ever I tell him that some of my friends received cute things from their boyfriends. He doesn’t like being mushy gushy. I’m ok with that but lately…he has been.
First off, he’s been ignoring my texts and messages or responds 2 hours later or more. Even though it says he was online and read my messages. I know you might think he just left his phone or computer. Nope it shows that he does go online and offline then quickly online.
He’s been making excuses. Like he got to repair his car or wash it at night or wax it. He talks about his car too much but I’m cool with it. It’s annoying but cute.
He barely hangs out with me like. He could only come to my house around 7 pm or later than makes an excuse 30 mins later that he has to do something with his car.
One time he only hung out with me for a couple of mins because he said he really wants to put his new parts.
He never blows me off like that. Ever.
Now when I told him over text I want chocolates pretzels. He said “where can I find them? Anything for you my princess :)” princess? Never did he call me princess since we were dating.
The only times he gets lovely dovey is when he did something wrong and I’m mad at him for it or when I give him lovey dovey kisses or mushy stuff. Am I paranoid or something is going on?

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12 Answers

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I don’t know how old you both are, but if things are like that exactly, you are simply wasting your time and hanging on as a spare tire while he happily does what he wants and gets back to you when he’s good and ready. If he has not made his intentions clear, then you are just drifting along until he finally show you the door.

Shippy's avatar

No one will ever know, we can only guess. So I would take any advice here lightly and with thought. Having said that, he sounds disinterested.

What do you want in a partnership? When you know that, perhaps write it down, then ask yourself how he measures up to any of the things you need, or want.That way it would be clear to you if this is working for you.

If someone called me princess, when he never did before, I would feel as though he is a player and is learning a new vocabulary in order to keep me and others sated.

livelaughlove21's avatar

The only sweet thing I’m reading is the pet name. Everything else makes it sound like he just doesn’t give a shit. And the pet name strikes me as being a tad sarcastic. Honestly, it just sounds like a very young relationship. I’m not sure how old you are, but I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be marrying this guy one day. I say if his truck means more to him than you, leave him to it.

wundayatta's avatar

I think people often spend too much time trying to interpret the motivations behind actions. I think women do this a lot, and they do it because it helps them avoid the truths they know but don’t like. They are looking for any excuse not to do what they think they need to do.

That’s fine if you want to wait until things are really obvious. Maybe you don’t want to be made a fool of, so you are trying to convince yourself the signs are ambiguous. Well, they are ambiguous. So what?

I would suggest that you do not try to interpret his frame of mind. Don’t think about his motivations or thought.

Instead, purely look at his behavior. Do you want to be treated this way? If not, take action. Don’t wait. Tell him what you want. If he can’t give it to you, decide what to do then.

But I’m not clear what you want. Do you want him to spend more time with you? Then ask him. Do you want him to be more gushy? Then ask him. Whatever you want, he can’t read your mind and you can’t read his. Actions are truth. If you’re not getting what you want, ask for it. If he doesn’t give it to you, you know where you are.

It shouldn’t matter where you stand. Where you stand is a matter of interpretation and you could guess wrong. But it does matter where you are. You know where you are. Where you are is based on what actually happens. Where you stand is based on why you think you are where you are. Stop playing that game and make your choices based on what happens, not why you think he’s doing it.

Pinkpastelrainbow's avatar

Don’t get me wrong, I love it but I’m getting suspicious with his lovey dovey messages. Like he he’s hiding something. We are both in college. I’m not expecting to marry him. Sometimes I do but than I have to focus on my studies and career. All I’m saying is whether or not I’m paranoid. Is he hiding something? After he send me the message of princess, he went to the store late at night to get me chocolate then brought it to my house. He’s never been too sweet. He’s been sweet but not too sweet. When I asked him why did he buy me chocolate at night, he didn’t answer at all. The last time we hung out all day at his house was 3 weeks and it was normal . Just his usual self which i love.The answer I want is if he’s cheating or just uninterested anymore? My gut is feeling it but I feel like I’m paranoid not trusting him.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

In the words of Sherman T Potter, go with your gut. Ask him next time you’re together.

burntbonez's avatar

You think it’s guilt that is making him be nicer than normal?

KNOWITALL's avatar

Lots of my guy friends LOVE to work on their cars, yes even washing them at night, I’m guessing he’s 25 yrs old or less, correct? Prime time to fall in love with your vehicle. Could mean nothing, could mean he’s got something going on elsewhere, or could just be a new phase where he’s spending time with the guys.

I was always invited, as were the other girls, to hang out while the guys worked on the trucks, so it does seem a little odd you can’t just go hang out and watch. I’d do a drive-by next time and see what’s going on, or just ask him.

marinelife's avatar

Sounds like it. Sit him down for a face-to-face talk.

Pinkpastelrainbow's avatar

He loves his and so do I. I love it when he works on his car! I don’t know why but I do. I could help him or just watch but he doesn’t invite me anymore. One time I told him about this and he got mad and says how come your always mad. I’m not mad I just wanted to say how I felt. No use on doing that because I’ve talk to him 2 times already. He still doesn’t listen and acts all lovey dovey. Usually he wouldn’t talk to me

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Pinkpastelrainbow Because guys working is kind of hot- lol

That’s odd if you used to and now don’t. So who’s over there with him then, he’s alone or ?

If he perceives you coming across as mad, why not swing by and drop of dinner or ice cream or something, see what’s up. Wear a raincoat with nothing underneath while you’re at it. Or go naked under one of those mechanic overalls and lower the front zipper so he can see your bubbies. If that doesn’t work, there may be a problem.

Pinkpastelrainbow's avatar

I may drop by with a surprise :) maybe he’s not alone. thank u everyone so much!

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