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tianalovesyou's avatar

My best friend betrayed me, what should I do?

Asked by tianalovesyou (692 points ) February 6th, 2013

The person I told everything to texted me today in Spanish saying “I’m sorry.” He’s suicidal and I thought the worst. I saw him at lunch and I was so happy to see him and I asked him what was wrong and why he was sorry. He told me lll have to go up to the counselors later and I asked “why is everything okay?” He told me he told them he was “worried for me.” My past on how I was. I’ve never felt so betrayed in my whole entire life. I don’t even know what to do right now. Help

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12 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Wow! This really sounds like a case of projection. He is suicidal, but he talked to the counselor about you?

I might mention that to the counselor. Still, if there is something you need to share, I would talk to the counselor about it. They are on your side. If there is not, if you think you have all of the problems in your past handled, just state that calmly. Tell the counselor you think your friend was projecting because he is in crisis at the moment.

KNOWITALL's avatar

If he’s worried for you and you’re worried for him, I think the counselor is a good place to start. Focus on that for now.

Sometimes we can see things in others more clearly, and perhaps you are both going through that, so this should bring you closer, not break you apart. :) Good luck!

zenvelo's avatar

Does not at all sound like betrayal. Sounds like he thought you needed help and turned to someone who could help you.

Real friends risk getting people mad by doing the brave thing. He was brave enough to talk to a counselor for your well being. He is a good friend. Treasure him.

Seek's avatar

There is no reason you have to talk to the counselor about anything. Frankly, they’re paid by the state and have their own interests at heart. I have no reason to believe they’re “on your team”. School counselors are not bound by privacy rights as normal mental health professionals are.

If you are in some way forced to sit in front of the school counselor, I would simply state that your friend has a tendency to run his mouth and project rumours, and that if you feel you need assistance you’ll be sure to hire a professional of your own choosing.

Shippy's avatar

Sounds to me as if he cares, a lot. Maybe too much which can cause a person pain. I sometimes care too much for my friends.

bookish1's avatar

I’ve read your post several times, but I feel like I am missing something. Did you confide in him about something bad that you have done or that has been done to you? When you found out that you were suicidal, did you tell him that you sometimes felt that way as well? How old are you both?

Objectively, does he have a valid reason to be worried about you? If so, then be grateful that he spoke up, as @zenvelo said. If not, then remember that you don’t have to tell the counselor anything, as @Seek_Kolinahr said.

Only you can know what this friend actually did to you. But if you feel betrayed, you need to tell him that, if maintaining your friendship is important to you.

snapdragon24's avatar

I can see how you feel betrayed, but the last thing he wants is to lose you as a friend and help you. I don’t know what he could have told the counselors, but maybe he feels your in the same boat as him, and perhaps he feels like you need some saving as well. If not the case, you can then handle it politely with the counselors by saying all is fine and then having a serious one to one talk with your friend. But first, see how much he’s disclosed to them…how bad could it be?

SamandMax's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr and @zenvelo look to be the best answers to go with on this one.
Between them they’ve said the same things I would have done.

wundayatta's avatar

Yeah, I’m curious as to what you said. Also, what happened at the counselor’s? There’s more to this story than meets the eye.

kitszu's avatar

@tianalovesyou You can’t have any idea how deeply this touches me.

My ‘little brother’ committed suicide and I met my husband b/c his best friend had sent a similiar message.

kitszu's avatar

I don’t even know what to say.

snowberry's avatar

Two possibilities exist, and @Seek_Kolinahr and @zenvelo said them both. I’d lean more toward Seek’s answer.

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