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ramona29's avatar

Am I being selfish?

Asked by ramona29 (29 points ) February 8th, 2013

My bestfriend has begged me to move in with her (in another state) I am now here and have been here for almost a year. we use to have alot of fun but shes met a guy and i never see her at all now. is it bad that i feel a little bad about this instead of happy that shes never here. I actually feel like moving back now. Am I being selfish?

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4 Answers

HolographicUniverse's avatar

A common issue with friendships, you feel rather distant from the person who convinced you to make such a big decision.

I suggest you air your grievances with her, communicate your feelings so that she won’t be uninformed should you choose to depart.

orlando's avatar

Your feelings are perfectly normal. You moved in with your friend to spend some quality time together and now she kind of ditched you for her new boyfriend… I was there and I hated it. I wish people were more considerate of their friends and not just run away with their new found lovers.

Anyway, back to you…

If you’re up to it I would take @HolographicUniverse advise and talk to her about it.

Coloma's avatar

Welcome to life, where the only constant is change.
It’s okay to feel a little sad and disappointed that your friend is not as available as she once was, but it is what it is. Maybe you can talk to her about your feelings and let her know that while you are happy for her that you miss your time together. Perhaps after the big rush of new love subsides she will be willing to set aside an day or night for you two to hang out together again like old times.

All relationships need one on one time.
My daughter who lives with her boyfriend the last few years came over alone last night for a girls hangout and we had so much fun. I adore her boyfriend and we get along great but it is nice to have that one on one time together still. Hopefully your friend will try to meet you halfway and take into account her friendship responsibilities.
If your friend expects you to be her crying towel if the relationship falls apart she should also expect to continue to make time for you now.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I always hung out with my friends, then when I got into my first serious relationship, they all felt like you do, kind of like I dumped them. The truth was I was in love and didn’t care much about anything else.

Needless to say, later on I regretted it, he wasn’t worth the relationships that I sacrificed. So be patient and realize that if it was YOU that was in the relationship, you probably wouldn’t care too much what she was doing either. :)

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