What should I do moving forward with a friend who split my head open with a rock?
Here’s the story… (and I apologize for the length)
It was the morning of New Years Eve 2012. My roommate/“best friend” and a neighbor-girl were out on our patio just chillin, still in our PJ’s. We were smoking some cigs and I was throwing playing cards out off the patio (as I’m one to do). When my roommate walked inside I threw one at his back, but missed and nicked his ear. I didn’t cut him or anything, but he proceeded to freak out about it. I teased him a little saying, “calm down man. It’s just a piece of paper!” (we always give each other sh*t) He told me he felt like throwing something at me, and that some hefty bar magnets sitting next to him were looking pretty good. I shrugged it off as an angry but empty threat just before he grabbed them in a fit of rage. I turned my back thinking he was going to throw the chunk at me, but instead he ran up behind me and smashed the magnets into my head shattering all of them. I turned around in disbelief and said, “are you serious!?”. I wiped my head with my hand leaving it literally covered in blood. I turned my palm to him and repeated my question. His response was, “YEA! I said I was gunna do it!”. At this point blood was dripping down my neck and pretty much everything in my being was telling me to lay him out. I almost punched him in the face, but then suddenly stopped myself. He proceeded to say stuff like, “I don’t know why you’re surprised… I said I was going to do it!” & “yea… well I didn’t mean to do it that hard. Now I feel like an a**hole.” I never did hit him back, but for the next 3 days I was about 1 second away from driving home, kicking the door in, and beating the living sh*t out of him. I abstained with much difficulty, but the incident got me thinking, a lot.
This guy, who considers himself my brother, is the same person who never paid me for a car I sold him years ago. He’s the IT specialist who let my computer remain unusable for 6 months when he alone could have fixed it at any time. He’s the guy who, after totaling his car, I loaned mine to everyday for 6 months straight so that he could keep his job (which he never gave me gas money for). He’s the guy who didn’t get me a condom the one time I asked him to, when he was just playing video games alone in his room. And now he is the guy who disregarded friendship and split my head open out of anger, and who I, even still, held back anger out of friendship for.
Now, after this most recent event, from which I didn’t stop bleeding for an entire day, and have permanent scars from, I looked back at our friendship as a whole, and I realized that I’m always the one taking a beating in one way or another. This one time physically, and metaphorically all the others. Sometimes it’s little things here and there, and sometimes it’s big things. But whenever sh*t hits the fan, I’m always the one who bites the bullet, eats the costs, or comes through as a friend in the end. For him, I could be counted on for anything, and I always came through where I could, even when it drastically inconvenienced me. He’s never reciprocated the favors.
Up until this point, whenever situations arose where he had consciously wronged me, I was left with 1 of 3 decisions.
1) Forgive him
2) Stoop to his level and fight back
3) Stop being friends
Finally, for the first time, I saw our friendship as a pointless waist of time, money, and effort on my part. 3 days later when I came home, I told him all this and kicked him out, leaving him living at his mother’s with no car, and I haven’t spoken to him since.
Recently, he’s been hitting me up saying stuff like, “dude… you mean a lot to me. Look at it objectively. We’ve been best friends for 12 years. We got into it one day, and I hit you. Now you hate me and won’t return any calls/texts? You’re actions make no sense to me. Brother’s isn’t when it’s convenient.”
I see all his words as pure bullsh*t. He’s straight out told me before, and I wouldn’t believe him if I hadn’t seen it for my own eyes, that he will say and do ANYTHING to get his way. To me, that makes any words he can send my way, utterly meaningless.
I realize I’m never going to be friends with him like I was, and I’m fine with that, and I’m doing fine. But is not talking to him ever again taking things too far? I’m not religious, but I try to imagine things from a higher consciousness. I often ask myself, what would The Doctor do? lol But I haven’t come up with anything other than what I’m doing right now.
In short, what would you do here?