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SuperMouse's avatar

Is there any way to head this situation off at the pass (details inside)

Asked by SuperMouse (30733 points ) February 18th, 2013

In his seeming unending quest to make my life miserable, my ex-husband has decided to file a police report saying that I stole his identity. I did not steal his identity or use his name and personal information in any way whatsoever. Never mind that what he is accusing me of happened five years ago – while we still married – and involved a property we both had interest in, he is determined to use this to try to cause trouble for me. This is the same person who filed a false CPS report, made more than one false 911 call, and sent a repo man after me. I am fairly sure that his plan is to give the police all of my personal information including address and where I am teaching if for no other reason then to embarrass me. My goal is to avoid having the police show up at work, or even at home and all of the questions that go with being questioned by a police officer. I have already contacted my attorney, but I am looking for some advice in the meantime.

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14 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

I would recommend you get a restraining order that restricts his ability to file police reports regarding you. Have your attorney show a judge he continually makes false reports. Also, ask the District Attorney to investigate his filing false police reports (which is illegal).

zensky's avatar

That seriously sucks. You gotta know whom you are divorcing before you marry them. Better luck next time. Anyway – I second the restraining order. Letter from an attorney?

augustlan's avatar

For the immediate question, I’d have my lawyer contact the police right now. Follow up with a restraining order. Also, send me his address, so I can personally kick his ass.

marinelife's avatar

How horrible. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Perhaps you could proactively contact the police and let them know this is coming and that you will be happy to talk to them at your convenience.

blueiiznh's avatar

I can’t add more to the above other than I hope Karma gets him soon.

Unbroken's avatar

I second the proactively meeting with the police and attorney, should you so wish. You will still no doubt have to answer questions regardless, may as well pick the place and time. Reporting him for false claims and using that for a restraining order.

Best of luck to you.

tinyfaery's avatar

Identity theft is a civil matter, no? Police won’t come knocking at your door.

You can file a complaint that he is harassing you, before he files his own.

Sorry you have to deal with this. This guy is a real fuckwad.

How old are your kids? I have to think this guy is not thinking of the kids. What do they have to say about this?

SuperMouse's avatar

@tinyfaery my kids are 14, 12, and 10. I haven’t said anything to them about this particular incident, but when he called CPS they were all pulled out of class and interviewed and they were all home when he had the police sent to our house. They just shake their heads because they really don’t know what to think of the whole thing.

tinyfaery's avatar

Seems to me they are at an age to start questioning other people’s behavior, including their parents. Have you thought about telling him that all his shit is going to start affecting his relationship with his children?

Ugh. This makes me so mad, when exes behave like this. I just want to berate him and maybe kick him a few times.

diavolobella's avatar

Identity theft is not civil, it’s criminal (fraud). If you have a record of all of this stuff, let your attorney contact the appropriate authorities and then file a lawsuit for defamation and harassment.

jca's avatar

Two things I recommend: Proactively go to the police with your lawyer, to head off their showing up at your place of employment.

Contact the District Attorney to inform them of his harassment, his filing false CPS report(s) and his accusing you of a crime which is not actually a crime and which happened five years ago.

I’m sure there’s a statute of limitations regardless on the identity theft thing, and if it occurred five years ago, this is probably beyond it, yes?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

What evidence does he have to support the accusation of identity theft?

Police, or anyone, won’t bite at accusations alone, without evidence to support them.

I mean, no one can just claim, “he robbed me” without answering the question “what’s missing” and “what proof that he did it”.

Seriously, I’d forget about it. The police won’t bother questioning you about identity theft. They’ll only question you about what crime was committed while using the identity. And they’ll only do that from evidence presented by the accuser. He’ll look like an idiot without claiming a loss, and presenting evidence to support the accusation. And if he has all that, then going to the police in advance isn’t going to help you anyway.

Try not to worry about ghosts that might appear. Only deal with the ones that actually do appear. Because those that do, aren’t ghosts.

WestRiverrat's avatar

If you were married at the time, he probably cannot charge you with identity theft. In most states, unless it is spelled out in a prenup, you are considered each other’s agents when dealing with the public. This is why you can be held responsible for your spouse’s bills even if you didn’t have anything to do with them.

Talk to your lawyer, offer to talk to the police at a time and location of your choosing with lawyer present. Other than that, don’t worry about it.

JLeslie's avatar

Identity theft when you were married? That sounds like a nonstarter. A close girlfriend of mine divorced her husband and she was going to wind up paying him child support and she felt she was losing money, because she had been the breadwinner. In fact, part of the reason she was divorcing him was because he didn’t work a lot, didn’t help at the house or with the kid, total leech. Anyway, during the proceedings she told the judge her husband had cashed checks by forging her name and the judge said, “you’re married, all your income is his too.” She was pissed. They had always kept all their money separate, never comingled funds, but still what you gain while married in her state is 50/50. Hopefully if your ex tries to do something a judge will tell him to take a leap.

But, I am not trying to discourage you from taking action, I agree with those above to get in front of the situation. I am just saying in the end I don’t think his charges will amount to anything.

I do have a question, how do you know he filed this report?

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