Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Is there ever a good time to tell a woman to stop trying to compete with her daughter?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21975 points ) July 2nd, 2013

Say for instance you know a woman who had her daughter at a young age, and there is only 15ish years between her and her daughter. While her daughter is in her late teens the mother is on the shy side of her 30s. The daughter is stunning but the mother is OK. Whenever they go out, the mother tried to wear clingy, form-fitting, dresses like her daughter, and short skirts and booty shorts. Whenever, some guy reacts, whistles, hollers, etc. the mother waves and or blows them a kiss as if she knows it was for her and not her daughter; even when some reference is made to hair color, color of clothes, or eyes which distinguishes them apart. If it appears on the outside to those observing that she is trying to look as hot, or hotter, than her daughter when they go out How or when is it a good time to mention to her it isn’t working like she thinks? How do you tactfully tell her next to most other 30something women she would be a head turner, but next to her daughter she is not ugly but far from stunning according to men in the area you have spoken to?

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30 Answers

augustlan's avatar

Is there ever a good time for you to stop obsessing about what woman are wearing?

LornaLove's avatar

At 30 she should be wearing tight clothes and getting wolf whistles. Thirty is so young.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Is there ever a good time to tell a man that all his questions about what women should do, how they should dress/act, what they should do with their boobs, etc… are getting quite annoying?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@LornaLove At 30 she should be wearing tight clothes and getting wolf whistles. Thirty is so young. I said I believe it would be more effective away from her daughter next to other 30somthing women. It is all about comparisons. If I have a 3 meter sloop next to a bass boat the sloop would seem large. I put that sloop next to a container ship, and it now seems dinky. 30 maybe young, but unless she was in the best shape of her life she would have a hard time topping a younger woman who was in a little less physical shape simply because of the benefit of youth.

(in genreal) Is there ever a good time for you to stop obsessing about what woman are wearing? Not that I obsess about it, there are many other good subjects to speak of if they could be discussed logically and civilly which don’t last long, so that leaves stuff soft enough to digest without choking.

OneBadApple's avatar

“wolf whistles” ??

How long have I been asleep ?.......What year is this…??

LornaLove's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central To be honest I was not sure why you were comparing her to her daughter anyway.

Xilas's avatar

just let her have some fun, itll be better for you

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@LornaLove @Hypocrisy_Central To be honest I was not sure why you were comparing her to her daughter anyway. Imagine for a moment, you know two guys, in the neighborhood, at work, etc. One is young and muscular, his friend, or uncle etc. was muscular when he was young. The young guy looks good in muscle shirts and other apparel that accentuates his physique. The older guy tried to copy him in style because he thinks he still looks as chiseled and toned. People who see him comment on how he is not that toned when compared to the young man, but to men near his age he usually appears in better shape than them. Together the differences and how the older man sees it might be as glaring as if he were alone wearing skin tight Spandex. If this guy was always trying to have people notice how good of a physique he think he has, you could ignore it that well, and the comments other would make of him?

LornaLove's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central I have a problem with the idea of people ‘assuming?’ that a mother or father is competing with their offspring. To me it reeks of youth is better than being mature, no matter how small the age difference is. Sure different people look different in spandex for example. Some daughters I know are overweight and spotty and their mothers are trim and gorgeous. Is this so important though? I do know there are some mothers that are in direct competition with their daughters or try to recapture their youth through and with their daughters. Some of them seem ridiculous. Some find a new lease on life and have fun but remain age appropriate.

They seem ridiculous mostly because a mature woman has something a younger woman does not. An innate sensuality born from experience and confidence. A sexiness not often found in a young girl. Either way I don’t find judging people and how they dress to be a satisfactory way of addressing a possible psychological problem they may be experiencing as an arbitrary onlooker.

nikipedia's avatar

Is this woman you? No? Then you don’t get to tell her what to wear.

Katniss's avatar

Perhaps she’s not trying to compete with her daughter at all. Maybe she dresses that way because she feels good about herself when she does.
30 is young, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
To answer your question, it’s never a good time.She will decide for herself when it’s time to wear mom jeans.

I’m 42, look like I’m in my 30’s, and I still shop in the Juniors department at Kohls. The clothes are much cuter and I can still pull it off, so why not?

AshLeigh's avatar

Who says she’s competing? My mom dresses sexier than I do. She’s still a very beautiful woman, so why hide it?

Katniss's avatar

@AshLeigh My point exactly!
Maybe once a woman hits 30 they’re supposed to start dressing all frumpy because they’re too old to be sexy?
There’s nothing wrong with being a hot mom! I rather enjoy it.
Im not trying to sound all egotistical. I don’t think I’m hot at all. I’m just going by what other people have told me. lol

woodcutter's avatar

A hot mom is better than a daughter going out with Mrs. Doubtfire.

Katniss's avatar

I just realized that weight isn’t a factor in this question. ;0)

Kidding, I’m kidding.

Coloma's avatar

Looking great and immature and insecure “competition” with a daughter are two completely different things. Apples and oranges.
A well dressed, nice looking mom who does her best to look nice is a far cry from a MILF that is clearly trying waaay too hard to look younger than she is. Have some class I say. 30 may be young but moms should not try to outshine their daughters when it comes to sex appeal.

woodcutter's avatar

Did the movie “Ringmaster” inspire this?

Katniss's avatar

@woodcutter Is that the Jerry Springer movie?
Hahahaha

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Let the girl have some fun. She obviously missed out on her teens becoming a mom so young and is now trying to catch up on what she missed. If she and her daughter are happy then, let her be!

woodcutter's avatar

@Katniss Ya.Lol. The scene where the white girl’s mother tries to hit on her black boyfriend in the hotel. Something like asking the guy if he thought a two- fer would be something he’d like..

trailer spankety spank

trash

Dutchess_III's avatar

That would be so embarrassing if I was the daughter.
One time, as a 19 year old, I was at a party with a bunch of kids around my same age. There was a woman there dressed in a black and white polka dot miniskirt. She was in her early 30’s or so, and all crying because her daughter, who was our age, was becoming so hard to control. She was asking us for advice.
I said, “Well, what do you expect when her mother is out partying like this, but you tell HER not to?” She didn’t like that answer.

I don’t think there is anything you can say. I think she’s probably making a fool of herself, and someone will tell her so, sooner or later.

gimlet's avatar

Most teenagers are legally children! To me, a thirtysomething woman is young, in her prime, and sexy.

This question reminds me of that old chestnut about writing: “A good story teaches you something about the characters; a bad story teaches you about the author.” This Q gives you a goldmine of information about the asker and their hangups about gender and age. The actual women in question? Not so much.

Coloma's avatar

@gimlet I don’t think this is about hangups and gender and age. Clearly women of ANY age can be sexy,beautiful, save maybe a 90 yr. old but inner beauty takes over at that point. The beauty of the heart and soul regardless of packaging.
The issue is about inappropriate sexual competition with ones own female child which is psychologically unhealthy and smacks of insecurities and low self esteem.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Coloma And an utter lack of decent parenting skills. My daughter’s boyfriends were forever hitting on me, but I NEVER dressed provocatively. I was just beautiful. It pissed me off that they would do that to her.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Coloma And for a woman to go out of her way to attract “boys” her daughter’s age….? Just yuck!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Dutchess_III @Coloma And an utter lack of decent parenting skills. My daughter’s boyfriends were forever hitting on me, but I NEVER dressed provocatively. I was just beautiful. It pissed me off that they would do that to her. The reason for that was because, you are more mature than they are age wise, you see them as boys, product of societal ideology. Biologically they are young men, most are capable of being fathers. In you they see what your daughter was lacking, money, private shag pad, vehicle, and experience. In their mind, landing you would be equal to bagging a Kodiak bear as opposed to a small squirrel. If they can get an older woman it means they are more man than their peers who can only get a tiny bopper. It goes to show just how much they really thought of your daughter. I hate to say it, but what she thought she was getting I am afraid she wasn’t. IMO they were only out to make merchandise of her, and I hope she was wise enough to see it before it was too

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yes, it made me angry that they would do that to her and I found it disgusting. But…all my friend’s husbands, except for one, hit on me too, which I found equally disgusting.

My point is, I never set myself up to be in competition with her in any way. I didn’t dress like a teenager, I didn’t giggle and flirt like a teenager, and that was the crux of this question.

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III Oh gad…my ex husbands “friends” hit on me too. Really?
I told one guy that if he EVER made a stupid move like that again I’d tell HIS wife! Fucking morons, what could they possibly be thinking!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah. It was pretty awful. They tried to kiss me, I mean, just grabbed me, but I wouldn’t let them, of course, but I still felt like I had this dark, dirty secret on my soul.

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