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JLeslie's avatar

Have you ever gone back and fixed a major regret?

Asked by JLeslie (47500 points ) September 16th, 2013

For this Q I am not including regrets about hurting others and making apologies. This Q is about major missed opportunities and choices. Things like career choice, starting a business, who you married, moving, having children, that sort of thing, but not limited to the examples named.

Again, there had to be a regret, not just moving down the path of life, but something you didn’t do, maybe thought it was too late, that you were too old now, or too stuck, but then thought better of it and did it.

Tell us the story. Was it scary? Are you glad you went ahead and did take the chance? What did the people around you think? Did it work out?

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7 Answers

Pachy's avatar

I tried twice, once a few years ago and again recently, to get back in touch with someone whom I felt I had wronged decades ago but I never got a response. Still, I’m pleased with myself for having made the effort.

Seek's avatar

I’m working on it.

I never went to college. I’m trying to get over my insecurities and just effing do it.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

After graduating high school, I moved out right away, didnt go to college, and rushed into a marriage. It took some time but I fixed the regrets. I divorced and this year I enrolled in college. Of course both things were scary but I’m very glad I went forward with everything. Now instead of viewing those things as regrets, I only think of them as mistakes. And mistakes can teach good life lessons.

linguaphile's avatar

I’ve wanted a linguistics degree since I was 15. I couldn’t find a program accessible to me at the BA level, so I decided I’d wait and get it as a MA. I got two BAs in English and Theater, two fields that study language in different forms.

It had taken me 10 years on and off to get my BAs- I was a single mom and did it. I planned to go straight into a linguistics MA program but was convinced by my then boyfriend, my mom and others that I should work for a while. I moved across the country, got married, and ended up in a hell-hole. To survive, I got another degree in Education (which I never wanted) and melted into a life that was- in no way- authentic to who I was or what I wanted to be. I was in a town that didn’t fit me, in a job I never wanted, married to someone who treated me terribly, was an unwelcome outsider in a closed community, had unhappy children, was a former athlete in a sedentary lifestyle, was in a body I never wanted and was even driving a vehicle my ex picked that I hated. But I was relatively financially “secure.” I had fallen asleep into that lifestyle and gave up.

I got a huge wake-up call about 3 years ago. I had a choice—become authentic to myself, or stay into that miserable existence. I chose to get the hell out. I applied to and was accepted into one of the top linguistics programs, got a divorce, quit my job, moved 5 states away. I am not financially secure, but I lost 40 pounds, love my life, my kids are incredibly resilient and have found their niches, have a new partner, a social life and am far more at peace.

I still struggle with PTSD, TBI/ADHD and some depression—but I am in the Linguistics program I wanted to be in for 27 years. This was deeply emancipating.

zenvelo's avatar

I’ve tried a few times, but a major regret is not something that is easy to repair.

I wish I could repair my mistakes from my last relationship. I wish I could have behaved differently long ago. I have made my amends, and generally do not regret the past, although there are choices I wish I had made differently.

Coloma's avatar

No. I have never wronged anyone, my only regret is that I married young to a character disorderd person and didn’t get an education and now, being divorced in middle age is sealing a fate of poverty for me. However…I have no regrets about raising my daughter, I loved being a mom and my care and devotion has turned out a very together and secure young woman, much more so than I ever was at her age.

Jeruba's avatar

After four years’ hiatus, I rectified being a college dropout. I transferred my credits and picked up as a junior. Got my B.A. a year and a half later. I don’t think I’d have felt uneducated without it, but I certainly would have felt incomplete.

I’ve taken a lot of classes since then, but they’ll probably never add up to a graduate degree. I regret that, but not nearly as much as I’d have regretted failing to complete college.

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