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jlk2525's avatar

Has a bad dream ever left you feeling anxious the next day? What to do about it?

Asked by jlk2525 (176 points ) February 9th, 2014

Last night I had a dream that was emotionally exhausting to say the least. A guy I haven’t seen in a long time and miss very much in real life, visited my house with some of his friends and family As we embraced we had a passionate kiss and I started crying (in my dream). I actually felt overwhelmed with happiness as I was having the dream, so it started off as a good dream I was enjoying.

We were then at a low key party speaking with friends when he disappeared. I went to look for him and ended up at his hostel/hotel. When I arrived with a friend the hotel/hostel owner told me that he had killed him as he didn’t like him or his friends very much. That one of them was still alive. In my dream I refused to not keep looking for him and instead of running away kept going up the stairs of the hotel/hostel and found his friend. I actually felt really distraught at this point.

I woke up from my dream shaken and my alarm went off three minutes later. All of today I have been unable to shake the feeling off. Usually I’m able to say to myself ‘it was just a dream’ but with this dream it replicated real life whereby I had an amazing experience with him then had to say goodbye that still affects me to this day. I must point out that I have spoken to the actual person recently and am awaiting him to respond to my last message from a week ago which has annoyed/upset me and my dream likely has something to do with this.

Can anyone interpret what this dream was telling me about my subconscious? Has anyone experienced a dream like this? What did you do to feel better and react better if it occurs again? I think if I can understand it, then it won’t shake me as much.

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12 Answers

janbb's avatar

Longing and anxiety dreams are just that; longing and anxiety. They’re not predictors of anything in real life, they just mean your subconscious mind is working on something while you sleep. I have them every night.

Pachy's avatar

Yes, that’s happened to me many times, but I’ve found that the emotional impact of the dream, if not the total memory of it, tends to recede as the day’s normal activity increases.

janbb's avatar

I agree with @Pachy too. They can certainly have an impact on your emotions in the morning but do fade as you get busy with your day.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

^^^All that. Your mind does lots of what if when you are asleeo. You have been irritated about the lack of response from this guy, so your dreams showed you how it could be worse, to settle your internal nag. Just agree with yourself that his not contacting you is better than if he COULDN’T contact you. Is this guy married? If he is, just dump the whole situation.

nebule's avatar

Going through a similar thing myself… keep dreaming about a guy getting in touch with me and wake up disappointed that it’s not real. It does get me down rather a lot…it’s like my subconscious is taunting me!! But then, maybe it’s also telling me that I need to find love elsewhere…maybe from myself. Soak myself in something else other than hopes and dreams of romanticism. Or get out there and find someone else!

I think that trying to think of empowering ways to deal with the situation is the solution i.e. ask yourself what do I really need right now? It could be to move on to someone else, it could be bury yourself in a tub of ice-cream and weep profusely to a sad and endearing movie or run yourself a nice bath, appreciate yourself, love yourself or maybe text/ call the guy and tell him how you really feel? You have options…some easier than others of course. But my heart goes out to you..dreams can be poop!

cookieman's avatar

Exactly what the elephant said above.

nebule's avatar

@cookieman I thought you were talking about me for a second then…I was thinking…you can’t see my bum in that avatar!! ;) and then I scrolled up!

OpryLeigh's avatar

I feel very anxious for the whole of the next day whenever I have dreams that a loved one has gone away or died. This doesn’t happen as much now but it used to be a very regular occurrence.

cookieman's avatar

@nebule: Ha! No, I meant @Pachy.

But if you’re offer a peek at your bum…

jlk2525's avatar

@Jonesn4burgers no he isn’t married so not to worry! I’m pretty confident he will get in touch with me again eventually but its the in between that frustrates me. Once took him almost a month to respond to my message. We live in different countries so factor that in if you will. I agree with you its better than he hasn’t contacted me then he cant do so. It can always be worse right?

Feeling a bit better today but still not feeling like myself. These dreams are becoming more common…I had a dream about my ex from a few years ago last week and that was a nightmare. Somehow need to figure out a way to settle my mind in real life so that my subconscious can literally sleep easy!

janbb's avatar

@jlk2525 When you find that technique, I’d like it too!

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

I had a dream which kept bugging me, semi-regular for years. I was in the sevice, and the dream involved going back to the town of my childhood home. A river runs along it, so there’s a bridge required to enter town from where I lived. In each dream, there would be some reason I’d be walking across this bridge. Midway across, it would collapse. The stupid dream repeated so many times, I started getting creative with it; riding huge chunks of concrete like a surfboard, so I’d land on top rather than underneath.
My family had moved away from this town, but during my service, my grandma returned. After I got out, I went to visit her. I was there about ten minutes before I told her about the dream. I told her I’d be back after I walk acros town, across the bridge, and back.
While I was gone, my dad stopped by. He asked Grandma where I was, and she explained. He said I was stupid for doing it. She defended my state of mind. I never had the dream again, and the bridge still spans the river.
My point is, your dream has bothered you over nothing. The best way to get a good night’s sleep is to face whatever your dreams have presented at the soonest possible opportunity.
SWEET DREAMS ALL! (I see a bunch of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s over there.)

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