Please help me understand my fiance's anxiety and depression?
Hi, I’m Adriana. :) I’m new here, I got tired of the stupid people on Yahoo Answers and found this site instead. My question pertains to my fiance, Robert, and his anxiety and depression. I am 22 years old, and Robert is 24. He moved to the US from Sweden when he was 19, and we met at college and immediately hit it off. I moved in with him about a year and a half ago, and we just got engaged in July. :) He is kind and understanding and he always makes me laugh. Now that he is done with college, he’s a graphic designer and works from home a lot. I’m a dance teacher, and I still am taking a couple of classes. We do lots of fun things together; we take art classes together and we go to the gym together almost every night. Usually, he loves all of this; he likes going out with friends, etc. But he also suffers a lot from depression and anxiety. He sees a therapist, but he doesn’t take medication. He has tried dozens of them and he says he doesn’t like the way they make him feel. I don’t blame him.
But he’ll have these periods of time (usually like 4 days to a week long) where he won’t even want to leave the house because his anxiety gets so bad. Not once have I been annoyed by this, or felt it put a strain on our relationship. I love him, and I understand what he is going through. His sister died like 5 years ago and I know it still causes some problems for him. He is also very self conscious about his accent (It is quite a thick accent and he mispronounces some words every now and then) and worries that people will think he’s stupid. But anyway, none of this has ever put any strain on our relationship. He never lashes out or takes it out on me. I understand when he goes off by himself for a few hours or doesn’t want to have sex because he “feels numb inside.” I don’t push him or annoy him. But I worry about him.
It breaks my heart when he’s in one of these ruts, even if it only happens like once a month. I don’t know what to do for him or how to help. What can I do for him in this situation? I feel helpless sometimes.