General Question

flyawayxxballoon's avatar

How do you stop being friends with someone?

Asked by flyawayxxballoon (1347 points ) July 22nd, 2008

I’m going into highschool and two of my “friends” from middle school think we’re still friends, but they’ve changed and I don’t consider us friends anymore. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt anyone.

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26 Answers

marinelife's avatar

I don’t think there is any need to announce it. Why make enemies?

Just gradually be unavailable to talk or do things.

If someone says to you, “I heard you were friends with Terry,” just say, “We used to be good friends in middle school.” And leave it at that.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Leave it be, in high school people and acquaintances come and go.

scamp's avatar

I don’t think you should worry too much about it. Being in different schools will provide you both with different schedules so the friendship would fall away soon enough anyway. Don’t burn any bridges just yet. You may bnegin to miss this person at some point.

xxporkxsodaxx's avatar

I agree, I would go by the saying “The thing(s) you want to get rid of, might be the thing(s) you miss the most.”

scamp's avatar

sorry about the typo! bnegin= begin.

TheHaight's avatar

Don’t worry to much about it.. And enjoy high school. Trust me on this, you can make a lot of friends in highschool and can lose a lot of friends as well. Freshman year can be tough.. Maybe you’ll find out that you might miss those friendships.

MacBean's avatar

Marina’s advice is good. But it doesn’t always work. Most people will take the hint, but sometimes… not so much. I graduated from high school six years ago and there is a girl who I still can’t get rid of. I don’t answer or return her phone calls, emails or IMs. She just won’t give up. (And, before someone asks, no, she’s not stalking. It may be persistent but it’s not very frequent.) I have no idea how to get her to go away without being mean, which I really don’t want to do.

cheebdragon's avatar

They will be just fine without you, plenty of other kids to be friends with…...

Miss_Lys's avatar

i agree with marina there is no need to make enemies usually people just get them so why add more? it would make highschool less fun. how about just talk to them, tell them how you feel and tell them if it seem like your being a jerk its probabaly because you dont like how they’ve changed. depending on the people they might take it as good advice that maybe i should stop acting like that or i gonna loose my friend. or they might just hate you so its your call. remeber its okay to have more than a couple friends to hang out with.

marinelife's avatar

@MacBean I once had a guy I was not interested in ask me out for Saturday. I told him I was busy. He said what about next week. I said, “Sorry, I am busy.”

Mind you, I was 16 and he was in his 20s. I started feeling very pressured, because he kept asking. Finally, I blurted out “I’m busy the rest of my life. Sorry.” I then turned beet rad and escaped rapidly.

scamp's avatar

Poor guy!

marinelife's avatar

@scamp Hey, poor me. Sixteen is a very intense painful age.

scamp's avatar

That’s true, but he lost out on your company.

sandymo's avatar

Through out life firends will come and go at different times and friendships will flourish for some time and then become dormant…just be unavailable and donĀ“t hurt feelings, be firm but nice.

MattxAmber's avatar

Walk up to them, and flat out say it.
Its just easier.

snowboard06's avatar

That’s what happened to me, I use to be best friends with 7th graders ( I was in 8th grade) now I’m going into high school like slowly stop talking to them It’s not the last time you guys talk. It’s not good advice but I’m just letting it out there.

deaddolly's avatar

Just keep your distance and hang out with other people. They’ll get the idea and you won’t have to hurt feelings outright. High School is a big place to get lost in and meet new friends. Everyone will meet new people….and everyone changes. Don’t feel bad.

PIXEL's avatar

All you have to do is throw a glass of whine at their face. No I’m just kidding. Just slowly be more distant from them. Then they will start to hang out with other people.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

It’s really easy in high school; start hanging out with other people. It is indeed better not to outright make enemies. Drama in high school blows. When I was in high school, my two best friends ganged up on me and we all got in a bunch of shit because of the crap we were pulling on each other. It was a waste of time. Just gradually drift away.

angelshine's avatar

Just ignore the other person. Eventually, the point will be made.

Siren's avatar

I wouldn’t ignore them or flat out say it. I think it’s best just to slowly hang out with them less and less. That way, they won’t be offended or hurt and will just think that you’re so busy meeting new friends that you forgot to include them.

Sometimes being kind is better than being honest, in this case. No one wants to think of themselves as “undesirable”. Conversely, they may be thinking the same about you, so it may all work out anyways, since people do change and maybe they have sensed the same change as well.

Another reason this works so well is, that it allows the possibility for you to be friends with these people in the future, should your interests be the same again. You just never know.

kevinhardy's avatar

just stop communicating with them

LouisianaGirl's avatar

Walk up to them and say I don`t want to be your friend any more because things have changed sorry, then walk away.

Emelo123's avatar

i understand completly the same happened to meii. I really didnt have to do much thouqh because my High School is Huge and I didnt have not one class with them so i never spoke to them in the hallways. I acted like i didnt evenn see them. But Goodluck Though.

veronasgirl's avatar

I have had many friendships end. Each friendship is different, sometimes just being up-front and honest is the best way to go. Other times you just need to gradually distance yourself from that person. It all depends on your friendship with that person, you know them better than we do. I will give you this piece of advice though, don’t expect the ending to be happy or for you to get some kind of closure, it doesn’t always work out the way you want it to.

tc's avatar

trust me highschool is intense enough without the extra drama..
your “frinds” will come and go very fast and very easily.highschool is tough.its a dog eat dog world.literally.
so its best to not sweat the little stuff now,because you will have bigger problems than that.

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