I have been deleted and I cannot seem to move past this?
I stopped contact with people for nearly a year, there were loads of reasons, but I would imagine primarily depression was the main motivator. But the feelings surrounding that were of hopelessness, loss of faith in human beings, loss of confidence in me (because I had the audacity to be diagnosed bipolar).
Lately I have made a super human effort to “get out there” and bit by bit I have. During this time a good friend of mine introduced me to an acquaintance of hers, in order to set up a business proposition with this woman. We met and seemed to get on OK. Although I found her to blow hot and cold. She would also say slightly derogatory things like; she told my friend she finds me sad? I think it is because at this point of my life I am stone broke (due to not working a proper job for a year). She has wealthy parents so is the complete opposite of me. The finds me sad part hurts because once I was vibrant and OK and I am well aware I am not up to par with clothes, shoes and so on due to finances. But my main function in this business proposition was ideas and to “tag along” in her business dealings which I did.
Any way she deleted me off blackberry messenger. I know this sounds really small, but it’s the first efforts I am making to socializing again and I have failed. Although to be honest I didn’t really trust her as she had lied to our mutual friend a said she had taken me out to dinner? When she had not. This has become so huge in my head that I can’t function. I know it sounds stupid but it has. Plus because we are in the same business of sorts I don’t trust phone calls, I keep thinking she is checking up on my prices or winding me up. I could really do with some insight. Sorry this is so long also.