General Question

glowfull's avatar

What is your best advice for planning a wedding?

Asked by glowfull (38 points ) August 8th, 2008

Did you have something that made the ceremony or day amazing? Did you realize later that you wish you would’ve ______? Thanks for your ideas ; )

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30 Answers

EmpressPixie's avatar

Take a deep breath, relax, and realize it is more about celebrating and having fun than stressing out and making everything to the minute detail perfect.

bodyhead's avatar

One word suggestion to make it go as smoothly as possible: prenup.

tedibear's avatar

Remember that this day is about a celebration of love between you and your fiance’. In the end, if the two of you end up married, that’s what really matters. The cake may topple over, your flowers may fall apart, it might rain, etc., it doesn’t matter. Will people talk about it and maybe tease you? Yes, but in the end, the important thing still happened.

Breathe deeply and try not to get overwhelmed by the details. I’ve gotten married twice, both times in fairly small ceremonies & with small receptions and I wouldn’t do any of it differently. Keep it simple!

Oh, and best wishes to you!

Judi's avatar

Do all your stressing in the preparation but don’t stress if the day does not go exactly how you planned it. Weddings that go off perfectly, while beautiful usually end up being boring. The most memorable weddings are where things go wrong, the cake falls, the flowers show up the wrong color, or a bridesmaid spills something on her dress just before the ceremony. They seem like disasters at the time but in the years to come they will be the things that make you laugh when you look back and how you handle those things will mean the difference between your guests having a great time and talking about it for years to come or politely saying, oh yes it was a beautiful wedding. Just enjoy the day and relax. It is YOUR DAY no matter what may happen unexpectedly. You are the princess. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to breathe!

mamasu's avatar

Make it fun for you. Most of it is a dog and pony show for family and guests. Do something that you want to do. You likely won’t remember most of it, so keep it simple. The more simple, the more you’ll be able to enjoy it. Have the music you want, the food others will enjoy, and keep it all as unregimented as possible.

Judi's avatar

funny we saifd teh same thing tedibear!

PupnTaco's avatar

Remember that ultimately, it’s just another day. Try not to get too worked up about the little details.

tedibear's avatar

@Judi – I’d say that “great minds think alike” but I don’t want to insult your mind by comparing it with mine!

@Mamasu – How funny you said that “You won’t remember most of it.” There are distinct bits of my first wedding that are just a blur.

whatthefluther's avatar

Have someone host the bar…it usually loosens things up for everyone. But do let the bartender know of anyone who has difficulty controlling their drinking so he or she can make adjustments (watered down drinks, limits, and/or making certain those people will not be driving).

rowenaz's avatar

Take this as a learning experience about what your relations hip is going to be like….

robhaya's avatar

Get married in Hawaii, that’s what we did 10 years ago and it was the best decision we ever made. It was great because, we had a small intimate ceremony and you can’t beat having your wedding photo being taken on Ka’ Anapali Beach at sunset.

R

Judi's avatar

Glowful, are you getting that breathing is important?

charliecompany34's avatar

don’t do this: i was in a wedding where the bride had all married couples as the bridal party, so we processed in with our spouses. as each married couple came in, a pre-recorded CD played one pre-arranged wedding day song of the respective couple until they reached the altar. one groomsman waited too late to submit a wedding song at previous rehearsals, so the bride chose a generic tune. the groomsman came up with a spontaneous idea MINUTES BEFORE ON THE WEDDING DAY and told the DJ to stop the CD so a pianist could play the desired song “live.” when the spouses came in, the CD did stop and the pianist played.

PROBLEM: the CD could not be restarted where it was stopped because the producer designed the music to flow without breaks. it was a nightmare because following couples processed in on dead silence.

REMEDY: always use a live band.

Skyrail's avatar

I don’t know if you intended it rowenaz but I laughed when I read your ‘relations hip’ hehe.

As for weddings. I’m clueless, I’ve never been married and know nothing about it. Heck. It may not even happen at all ;)

lindabrowne1's avatar

I would work with a wedding planner. They will save you time and money because of their talents and connections. Develop an overall wedding budget this: http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=p0PTR-aOvrMsYP5KtIcojPA has a great breakdown of expenses; then sit down with at least two planners and have them give you written bids, timelines and project descriptions. Be sure to check references—at least three of their most recent clients—and call each of them and ask questions such as: did s/he come in within budget?, did they meet their timeline?, how did they save you money?, would you hire s/he again?

Judi's avatar

Looking at your question again, my daughter wishes she would have taken the Cash we offered her and ran away to Vegas instead of spending it on the wedding.

spendy's avatar

Three words: Less Is More

rowenaz's avatar

Yeah, that relations hip was my bad typing! I went to city hall, and had a small wedding and dinner at a nice restaurant with 30 guests. My favorite part was having a harpist, and my family holding the huppah.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

you have money wedding planner.

mamasu's avatar

I advised my brother and his fiance to elope to the courthouse and let people who wanted a reception to throw them a party. That’s what they did. After the courthouse, they went out for ice cream then told everyone the following week. Smart guy.

glowfull's avatar

wOw!
yall are very cool~*
thanks for your heart’s and mind’s advice
d e e p b r e a t h
i’m letting go of my worries about the ‘worst’ of my family and friends, and trying to delegate responsibilities to those who can and want to help:
i’ve got a
gracious and domineering, control freak mother in law (and grand mother in law),
hyper OCD mother, extremely competitive and immature older brother,
and THANK GOD, a totally laid back & sincere fiance
the other cast of characters should be pretty chill, but the moms….
sigh
i love the harp, live band, and ice cream ideas.

mamasu's avatar

Tell Mom, MIL, and everyone else that they are welcome to plan their own weddings however they want. This is your show, babe. Some of it will require a little compromise to keep the audience happy. The rest can easily fall under ‘need to know’ and ‘my wedding, my rules.’

I ended up telling my MIL that she could invite whomever she wanted so long as she paid $75/head. That wasn’t what it cost but her guest list, for my 80 person max wedding, was 275 people. I wasn’t having it or the fine china she registered for on my behalf.

The wedding really has nothing to do with the marriage. Compromise where you must, but never so much that you feel stressed or like you aren’t having fun.

mamasu's avatar

and Congratulations! ;~)

TheGreenBrideGuide's avatar

Have you checked out the blog Wedding Lessons Learned? Brides (and grooms) write in offering lessons for their planning.

bunkin's avatar

do not wait till the last minute. what ever can go wrong will go wrong but you will be the only one who cares.

Seesul's avatar

Don’t let the photographer take up all of your time away from your guests. Get more candids with them and insist that they be efficient and unobtrusive. The weddings that I’ve been to lately, the guests sat waiting for an eternity for the reception to begin and the reception was even interrupted by the photographer, who took the bride and groom away once again. By the time they got back, more than half the guests had left, and this was before the cake was cut.

It seems with digital photos, more photos are taken because of the lack of expense for the photographer. This can be a good thing, but lately I’ve noticed it has gotten out of hand. The bride an groom spend more time with the photographer than the wedding guests.

mij's avatar

My son recently got married in Cimaja, West Java, Indonesia. It was a full on Muslim ceremony and all set up by the brides family and local village people and religious elders.
It was a beautiful day from early morning to late evening.
We spoke no Indonesian and only one or two locals spoke english, it was the best stress free wedding ever with 700 locals attending, no invites, it’s the village way and every person was fed and watered.
Oh it was an alcohol free event.
The DVD is a classic.
So relax weddings are no big deal just go with the flow.

bunkin's avatar

i agree *seesul.. at my bff’s wedding the photographer insisted on taking the pics of the bride and groom before the ceremony and made them a half an hour late to their own wedding.
Photographers are paid by you on your time.

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