Since the US government blocked the merger of AT&T and Time/Warner couldn't, in this era of corporate personhood, the two companies just get married?

And 9 months after the ceremony, they could spawn a whole family of local area networks

It would still be a monopoly.

They tried that, but the DOJ stood up when they asked, “if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace”

How about, since an oil corporation like ExxonMobil is legally a person, instead of fining it the proportional equivalent of a wagging finger for negligently ravaging the environment and killing thousands of animals, we incarcerate it, make it a felon, consider the death penalty, etc?

The government has not blocked it. The trial is ongoing.