General Question

MattxAmber's avatar

My boyfriend wants to have a threeway kiss, and a threesome, am I not enough?

Asked by MattxAmber (110 points ) August 24th, 2008

Well, we are still in highschool, and we’ve been together for a year pretty much, but all of a sudden he wants me to kiss other girls, and have a threeway kiss and/or a threesome, I explain to him how much that hurts me, but he still doesn’t seem to care, I can’t help but think, he doesn’t want me anymore. I thought the sex I was giving him was like great, but I guess, it really wasnt. I know its a dream for every man, but do you think he’s tired of me?

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52 Answers

NecroKing's avatar

Ohh, You don’t mind if I bring wrestle into this thread do you?, I know Somethings but he he knows the most. You mind?

MattxAmber's avatar

No, I don’t mind.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

Hold it right there! This may not seem like a serious question, I have reason to believe this person is What-you-call-it, a Stalker, or something like that.

wundayatta's avatar

It doesn’t mean you are inadequate. Men; especially boys are really curious about all things sexual. He is totally into the fun he thinks it might be. He probably is getting off on the idea of having two girls attend to him. He probably still wants you. Men seem to have an easier time separating sex from love. So I don’t think he’s tired of you.

However, if you don’t want to do it, don’t. If you lose him, too bad. He’s not worth it. However, it might make him want you more. Seriously, I would not do it. It could lead to all kinds of painful places and insecurities.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

Any way from what i know, since i’m a guy, other guys find it hot or on turning if they see a girl on girl, and if joining in…..whoa, it goin to be a craaazy night, woo. so you might want to consider it, you might.

NecroKing's avatar

True I often heard from other guys in my school that it’s a rush.

PupnTaco's avatar

If you don’t want to do it, be firm with him and don’t do it.

NecroKing's avatar

That’s good advice.

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

It is less of a concern to me that he ‘wants’ to have a 3-way, than that you’ve TOLD him how much this hurts you and he continues. This is saying he is not honoring your feelings, but wanting his own at the expense of yours. That would not be okay with me. I hope it’s not with you.

wildflower's avatar

Just want to echo what daloon, PnT & Seeker have said: Don’t do something like this just because he wants to. If you want to, fine, but if – as you said – it makes you uncomfortable, stand firm and say no!

In the long run, losing someone who wants you to do things you don’t want to, will hurt a lot less than doing something that hurts and makes you uncomfortable!

NecroKing's avatar

If he forces you into this, it harassment.

wildflower's avatar

if he forces you in to a threesome it’s (at least) borderline rape!

NecroKing's avatar

True and you can send him to court.

seVen's avatar

if he said that he’s a pervert and doesnt love you. For your info not all men engage in sexual relationship before marriage and sin of flesh.
God Bless.

NecroKing's avatar

Hell bless, Amen!!

seVen's avatar

NecroKing mocking wont get you far.

galileogirl's avatar

Oh for a teenager, this guy is well on his way to being a player. A threeway kiss would be awkward and pretty uncomfortable but if he could get that, he is well on his way to something else. Tell him you mght go for it but you’re interested in kissing two guys and see if he wants to liplock a dude. LOL

JackAdams's avatar

My “hobby’ is spoiling women as best I can, and if Valentine’s Day occurred once a month, instead of once a year, I’d be as happy as a pig in manure.

One of the things I enjoy arranging for my women, is a 3-some for her and two men, and I will let her decide if I am to be one of the men.

I have never known a woman to turn down such an opportunity, when seriously presented to her.

August 24, 2008, 2:00 PM EDT

Bri_L's avatar

You deserve better. I agree with seeker and wildflower.

galileogirl's avatar

Jack maybe you are a pig in manure and that explains it.

wundayatta's avatar

GG, that doesn’t begin to explain it. I don’t know what does. I mean, I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes trying to see how it could make sense. The only explanation that seems to have any traction with me is that guys who treat women as things, human things, but things, none the less, might do a thing like this. I swear. This has me hornswoggled. Usually I’ve got a theory about everything. This, I can’t even begin to make sense out of it.

galileogirl's avatar

Never mind most of us understand it quite well.

loser's avatar

If he’s trying to force you to do something that you don’t want to do, he doesn’t really care about you. Tell him to drop it or get lost.

wildflower's avatar

A bit off topic, but I’m with daloon re. JackAdams’ response. It sounds like “his women” are generic and interchangeable, to be enjoyed for certain experiences, rather than people to connect with emotionally, intellectually – and physically.
Not really a view I can understand or accept.

NecroKing's avatar

I’m not mocking Anyone.

Response moderated
ninjaxmarc's avatar

If it hurts you and he doesn’t acknowledge it, you deserve a better boyfriend.

marinelife's avatar

He is more interested in his fantasies and sexual needs than he is in your feelings. It has nothing to do with you being adequate in any way.

Remember that and think enough of yourself to dump him.

Bri_L's avatar

@ Marina – very, very well put.

JackAdams's avatar

Marina’s answer is EXCELLENT. Check the “Great Answer” spot, as I did.

August 25, 2008, 4:30 AM EDT

wundayatta's avatar

I concur, Marina. Well put!

allengreen's avatar

As a younger man, I nagged my then girlfriend to have a threesome with a hot chick she worked with. After several months, it finally happened. The first time was great, after that, the girls figured out that they really did not need me for anything. The two girls became a couple, I became a wiser single man—an soon started dating my now wife.
Point is, the boyfriend has no idea what kind of can of worms he is about to open up.

marinelife's avatar

I am so womanfully avoiding temptation here.

gailcalled's avatar

However, hats’ off to Daloon for “hornswoggled,” which goes into my “must use immediately list” and to Marina for her forbearance. I am tying myself to the mast.

wundayatta's avatar

Hey! I have a patent on that word! ;-)

Bri_L's avatar

@ allengreen – I commend you for sharing that story. Thanks.

gailcalled's avatar

Daloon; not after your poem about “gormless gits,” you don’t.

windex's avatar

what are you doing having sex at such a young age, Am I alone on this one?
I’m surprised no one has said anything.

Unless you already had a 3some since this question is 4 days old…

Bri_L's avatar

Nope, I have to climb on board with you windex.

wundayatta's avatar

@gail: well, I tried! ;-) But my agents are out there, buying up the rights from anyone who will sell! I tell you, “hornswoggled” will be mine! All mine!

NecroKing's avatar

young age? how old are you windex?

windex's avatar

Me? why is that relevant?

If she’s in HS then I’m just assuming she 16ish

Do you really think that the Average 16 year old is mature enough and mentally ready?
a teenager’s brain is still developing/maturing (whatever you wanna call it)

If you don’t think this is going to affect her for the rest of her life, then OK…sex away

1 Year and he’s asking for 3somes? (COMON! and still in HS…thanks TV)

NecroKing's avatar

Oh shit! my bad I’m having attention problems here I meant MattAmber!!

MattxAmber's avatar

yeah, I’m only 16. Its sorta young for kids to be having sex, I do agree.

wrestlemaniac's avatar

Hey you only live once, LIVE IT UP GIRL!!!!

NecroKing's avatar

Yeah girl.

Bri_L's avatar

Not really the attitude to have when your dealing with another potential human being who’s life will rely on you, someone who had sex at such a young age.

If you want to get reckless, how about 13 items in the 10 or less isle?

wrestlemaniac's avatar

How about 20?

wildflower's avatar

I don’t suppose there’s much point in suggesting not becoming sexually active yet – I suspect it’s too late for that!
However, as a few people have already pointed out, during your teens, your feelings and thoughts are confusing enough just figuring yourself out, adding sexual experimentation to the mix – when doubtful of the experiment beforehand – can’t be a good idea!!

@MattxAmber: You will make your own decision, I can only encourage you to not enter in to something you don’t feel good about that could make you feel far far worse after!

NecroKing's avatar

Remember our advice.

gailcalled's avatar

Yes, do keep in mind that Necro and Wrestle are licensed and trained Therapists and have been in analysis themselves for years. So treat them as the mature experts in human behavior that they are.

NecroKing's avatar

Thanks, I actually knew this girl, who wanted to remain with her boyfriend but her boyfriend wanted her to join a threesome, he forced her, and I advised her to get a court order, it worked.

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