Yes, When I read about patterns in families that happened though out lifetimes .
I read the book entitled: Wild Swans , by Jung Chang ( 1991/1992)
Where the writer delved into the lives of three generations and patterns that stemmed from the Grandmother, Mother and finally herself, where she recognized a path that was unconsciously followed and incites the readers to look in between the lines of the narrative to discover whats in your family history too?
As a result I began writing not only our Family History lineage and finished documenting that in 2015.
After reading the book Wild Swans I started to write about my late Grandmother, late Mother, and finally my own path.
It showed a pattern that was unconsciously followed !
Here is an example of a pattern:
1. Late Grandmother:
Happy single life.
Arranged marriage (age 17 years old)left school.
Succession of 5 children.
Troubles with non supportive husband, leaves her
Years of being the sole provider for her family
Never married again.
2. Late Mother:
Chaotic childhood.
Age 12 yrs old responsible for caring for her four siblings.
Education cut short at Grade 7 level.
Worked in Aunts Cafe and learned how to manage.
Married age 23 years old and also had a succession of five children.
Happy at first then chaotic life taking full responsibility for managing as husband had problems settling in a several jobs making income from good to bad to worse scenarios.
Although husband never left the marriage, he failed miserably by going out all of the time leaving mother to handle all crises ( flood, house fire, economics etc)
instead of leaving mother broke down and was institutionalized.
Insight proves now that having 4 siblings to look after at age 12 yrs old and having 5 children of her own and all the responsibility took too much to bear the repeated role that was hoisted on her earlier in life.
3. Daughter:
Chaotic ups and downs ( unstable economics) in household required us children to look after our mother’s state of health thereby putting out own needs aside.
After years of being guarded and held down ( no freedom) were suddenly thrust out at age 17 years old knowing nothing about the world of relationships etc
Siblings and I were given an ultimatum to get out by age 18 yrs old or be kicked out on the street, regardless of economics etc
First Date age 17years old.
Taken advantage of , forced marriage,succession of kids not five but four and one died.
No support other than economic from a non supportive husband who had problems sustaining work.
I divorced with three kids and continued working ( all throughout the marriage, except one year off).
Changed the pattern somewhat by still working, then quit that job ( hospital) then obtained student loan for upgrading education, then College, then better jobs followed.
My Children:
Broke this pattern by not having my oldest look after her siblings but rather had the kids in daycare facility as I worked long hours to make sure that they were fed, clothed,housed,safe, educated and prospering.
Encouraged my children to live single and not marry young but instead plan there future life by furthering there education, live on there own,manage there own finances etc
In short control there own life path as they see fit and hopefully live out a much happier life.
Marry only if husband is supportive , economically and is committed in the marriage.
