General Question

Scrumpulator's avatar

How do I get out of here?

Asked by Scrumpulator (559 points ) August 29th, 2008

Whats the best way to do a 180 degree turn on your life style? Moving? Name change? Has any one out there made a complete life change before? How did you do it, and what were the challenges? How long did it take?

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30 Answers

Darknymph's avatar

Where do you want to get out of?

Scrumpulator's avatar

A pit. Stagnant water. I want to start an art school. Where do I began, where do I start? I can’t do it from where I am in my life. I need to change everything. Like a fresh start, un-learn everything and relearn success.

Darknymph's avatar

Oh then, I have no Experience there, But Necro has been there, one to many times I’m afraid.

cyndyh's avatar

I like the idea of the “next step”. What’s the next concrete thing you can do that would get you any amount closer to where you want to be? If the idea is too fuzzy, do you need to research? Do you need to break the idea down into smaller steps that aren’t overwhelming? You sound kind of overwhelmed. It helps me to focus on doing when I get bogged down wishing and hoping and not doing much about it. Make sure it’s something you do toward your goal.

Darknymph's avatar

Well first you have to breeeath and reeelaaax, then you handle things a step at a time, (Necro where are yooouu)

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

Scrum….are you needing a new direction or are you running away from something? I’m in no way saying you are, it’s just a valid question at the beginning.

Can you be more specific about what you need to get away from? School? Are you failing? Do you not like it? What?

Change everything, like ‘un-learn everything’ and relearn success…sounds disparate. And that’s okay if you are, just state it though.

If you are leaving or running because of general malaise and discomfort, it won’t work. You will take you, right along with you. And eventually set yourself up the same way.

To reprogram you==therapy would help. I proudly say I have had it.
To get direction—you could hire a “life Coach” to help you define that.

Allie's avatar

I think you should find someone who is doing right now what you want to do soon. Ask them how they got to where they are. What was their first step? What did they do next? They could get you pointed in the right direction. Having a step by step plan works best too, instead of running about and trying to do too any things at once. Focus on what you need to do first and then on what you need to do next.

gailcalled's avatar

Wherever you go, you go also. Relocating and changing name will solve nothing. It sounds as tho you need to talk to a good therapist (as seeker mentioned so eloquently) about the underlying sources of your unhappiness, problems, bad decision-making and/or depression. You always start inside yourself. It is not something you do from a check-list.

I too benefited enormously from therapy. I wish I had started when I was much younger.

poofandmook's avatar

Some people go this way. <—
Some people go that way. —>
And some people go both ways. <——>

Good luck. If I knew the answer, I’d be doing it myself. All I know is it takes all the strength in the world and then some. Therapy is KEY.

sndfreQ's avatar

I like gail’s explanation; one of my favorite movie quotes:

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

-Buckaroo Banzai

gailcalled's avatar

I was trying to think of the attribution. (Walt Kelly’s Pogo came to mind, but Pogo said, ”“We Have Met The Enemy and He Is Us.”)

And this phenomenon

Dr. Jon Kabat-Zin has written a wonderful book about the mind-body connection called, Wherever You Go, There You Are.

I had forgotten that I took an eight-week (one evening/week) course using this text. Very useful.

cyndyh's avatar

Um, gail, what does that spiral have to do with what you’re talking about?

gailcalled's avatar

I meant it to be very small and symbolic of the world spiraling in on you, like Poof’s symbols.Sorry for the confusion.

cyndyh's avatar

It’s ok. The connection just wasn’t clear. That’s why I asked. Cheers!

gailcalled's avatar

I can be extremely unclear at times. So I blame it on the cat (the infamous Milo) who was treating my left hand as a toy when I was trying to type. (The cat made me do it.)

cyndyh's avatar

Oh, of course! I’m down with blaming the cat or the kids or one of the household “monsters”. When someone passes gas we say the “fart monster” did it. We don’t have a dog to blame anymore so…. :^>

Megan64's avatar

Just do the next right thing. It will lead to the next right thing. It works.

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

Lovely Megan64, I love that! It’s so simple and true.

loser's avatar

@Megan64: I just put that in my quote book!

Megan64's avatar

I wish I could claim it as my own, but it’s from Anne Lamott:

I took a long, deep breath and wondered as usual, where to start. You start where you are, is the secret of life. You do the next right thing you can see. Then the next.

I’ve found it works, truly.

gailcalled's avatar

@Megan64; She is one of my favorite authors. Did you read “Bird by Bird,” her book on how to write? That quote has a familiar ring.

Megan64's avatar

@gailcalled: I’ve read Traveling Mercies and Operating Instructions. I haven’t read BbB, but I’ve got it sitting over there on the shelf. I’ll give it a go once I’m done reading Biden’s autobiography. @all: Thanks for giving me a reason to think about her again.

gailcalled's avatar

@Darlnymph; If I get your drift, it is related by indirection..LaMott’s “Bird by Bird” has wonderful sections on Scrumpulator’s issues as well as hints for clear writing.

Darknymph's avatar

Oh, okay, but remember my advice.

gailcalled's avatar

@Dark:You mean the diaphragmatic breathing? I use it all the time, personally, but my life is calmer than Scrump’s, I think (if you are talking to me).

Darknymph's avatar

Well To every one, You know necro would be good to answer this, he’s been there, a lot.

spresto's avatar

Leave everything behind. Literally everything except the clothes on your back and cash. Pick a direction and start walking. Do not go back for anything. Call no one you know. Keep going until you feel it is time to stop.

As far as recreating yourself…well you seem to have a goal. Pursue it! Alone if necessary.

Now Go!

harple's avatar

Did you do it????? Where are you now?.. Any advice you could give?...

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