General Question

susanc's avatar

Why can't my stepdaughter receive emails from me or is she kidding?

Asked by susanc (16144points) January 3rd, 2009

They go into my “sent” box; I don’t get a “cannot deliver” message; I press “reply” after I read what she writes to me. She claims she never gets any. Her sister, same server, does. Huh?

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16 Answers

Vinifera7's avatar

Pertinent follow up question: What email service does she use?

shadling21's avatar

She checked her junk mail folder too, right?
Email address is the correct one?

bythebay's avatar

shadling may be on to something; perhaps she needs to add you to her “safe” list in order for your mails not to go to her junk folder. You know you have the correct address if you’ve hit reply, so the issue is somewhere on her end.

hanhak's avatar

Right. Try asking her if she’s checked her junk mail.

judochop's avatar

How old is she? Some email servers require a birthdate when setting an account for a child and it will stop certain age limits from contacting. Have her check it or ask her if that’s how it us set up.

RandomMrdan's avatar

is she using an outlook type of email, or anything like that? or just logging into a website? Sometimes Anti-virus or Firewalls will create problems like this for emails with outlook…at least so I’ve always thought.

cdwccrn's avatar

Does she like you?

RandomMrdan's avatar

“why you duck’n me man?! I know you have money..how much did that fake mustache cost huh?”

bodyhead's avatar

“You’ve got money to buy fake mustaches but not pay me back?”

Yea, I think she’s full of crap. Unless they are in her junk mail then she’s pulling your leg.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Either it is going into the junk mail folder, she’s blocked you, or she’s lying.

I suspect numbers two or three since she’s emailed you before—the program should realize you aren’t spam.

bodyhead's avatar

Yea, most newer programs will automatically whitelist any address you send mail to.

augustlan's avatar

My 11 year old daughter has the type of account where we have to actively add email addresses that she may receive emails from. Maybe she has such an account…are you on the list?

susanc's avatar

Guys! I think I got it.

She is 50. Her siblings have exactly the same email service and they both get my messages. Of course I’m not blocked, for the exact reasons you point out above.

It’s a metaphor!

Her dad, my husband, didn’t raise her but has been very generous and loving to her since he and I got together. He died in May. Her mother, who did raise her, is stone deaf and always has been, and is getting very old. So my stepdaughter’s lost the fairy-tale parent she found after she grew up, the one she could talk with, the one who never criticized her, who bought stuff for her to show her he loved her.

And here I’m saying I won’t pay for everything any more. I won’t visit. I won’t buy plane tickets for her and her kids to visit me; I don’t want them to. It was him who loved them; I just paid the bills and smiled.

I’ve been teaching her – gently I thought – that she needs to take on some of the responsibilities her dad covered for her.

She’s not ready. Too lonely, too sad.

Therefore…. she isn’t getting the message. Literally.

There’s a condition called “hysterical blindness”. It afflicts people who have seen things they can’t bear to remember. I think this is like that.

@cdccwrn: astute question. I’m not sure she likes me, but it looks like she needs me.

cdwccrn's avatar

Maybe she doesn’t like you precisely because she needs you. You remind her, even if inadvertently, of her failings, weakness, and loss.

susanc's avatar

@cdwccrn. Well, loss at least. Where is she going to put all that feeling of helplessness and frustration? It’s okay if she puts it on me. She’ll grow through it. I’m still half crazy myself.

augustlan's avatar

Susan, what a perfect step-mom attitude :)
I like that you’re being very forgiving, even in your own grief. Hugs to you.

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