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wundayatta's avatar

Have you ever lived in cohousing? What's it like?

Asked by wundayatta (58722points) January 4th, 2009

How was it organized. How much communal time vs private or family time did people spend? How were the meetings? Were new people able to fit right in, or was there an adjustement period? Did you make friends? Did it make you feel more a part of a community? Were people supportive of each other’s talents? Did competitions arise? If so, over what? How did kids fare? Was it easier to find playmates? Did they tend to get along well? How were the accomodations? Did you miss having a house of your own?

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3 Answers

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

This is an interesting question. It’s very common in Denmark.

kevbo's avatar

I can only speak from a couple of days of observation having visited friends who live here. People there have their own private residences, but they are smaller (condo size) and that is meant to be offset by common areas such as a “clubhouse” kind of building with a commercial kitchen, large dining area, a couple of lounge areas, laundry, a guest room which can be booked ahead of time, a courtyard, etc.

Participation in common meals was voluntary and required some kind of participation from the families that partook, whether it was procuring, cooking, cleaning, etc. It seemed that the menu choices were a little bit of a controversy just in terms of not everyone being 100% satisfied. Common meals happened three times a week at dinner. Naturally, the dining room and other spaces could be reserved for a party.

Kids have an advantage of having other kids around and being raised in a true “village.” It seemed that doors were open most of the time during the day for kids to come and go and that parents took turns watching each others kids. Parents also found learning baby sign language useful, and the younger kids used the signs pretty regularly. I was told that there was a little bit of controversy, too, with kids playing basketball in the courtyard due to the noise, so they’d worked things out where the kids had to sort of check in with neighbors before playing basketball.

It seemed that the biggest discussion had centered around whether or not to purchase a hot tub with common funds with vocal contingents on either side of the issue. The end result was that the “hot tub caucus” ended up purchasing one and placing it on the private deck of one of the units.

I found people to be really nice and generally okay, although there were a couple of gripey people which always gives me cause to smile (when utopia seekers are crabby in their utopia). I also really liked the fact that you had this outdoor space that was safe and filled only with your neighbors. (The development took up a square block and all the units faced inward towards the commons.) There was a garden and other outdoor spaces to keep one occupied.

They also had a 10 or so car garage and storage area, which I guess was available for a little extra and on a first come, first served bases.

Anyway, I’d say it’s important to want to live in community, live with “just enough” personal dwelling space and be adept at discussion and consensus. It seemed that there was a non-negotiable requirement of participation in the governance of the development—to what extent and form, I suppose, varied, but it seemed everyone was involved with some aspect of running the place.

So, overall, I thought it was pretty cool. I might get annoyed by the bleeding heart granola aesthetic from time to time (and I doubt very much that there was a Republican among them), but I think it’s a more human alternative to most of what passes for neighborhood living anymore.

wundayatta's avatar

@kevbo: thanks a lot for putting that much effort into the answer. It is very informative. I hope I get others as good as that. Lurve for you.

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