Embarrassing/funny things you (as a child) or your children have said unknowingly?

Although I said many wrong, yet funny, things when I was a child… my favorite was when a friend of mine (probably age 7 or 8) enthusiastically exclaimed while driving on the interstate that the car in front of us was a vulva. She was just like “Oh, look at that Vulva!” My mom kind of laughed to herself and then kindly corrected her, “No hunny, that car is a Volvo, not a vulva.” I didn’t get it at the time, but years later I remembered it and it now always results in a few good giggles for me.

When I was out with my mom and people asked how old I was she would tell them “She’s six and a quarter” or something like that. The next time someone asked I would tell them I was “six and twenty-five cents.”
I’ve said more silly things than that.. I know I have. Let me think about this for a while.

I was told a dildo joke when I was young and I didn’t know what a dildo was so they told me to ask our assistant principal and I did and he told me to ask my mother.

We had chickens, my daughter walked through the tall grass to feed them. As she walked the seeds from the grass clung to her shoes. When she got to the chickens they started eating the seeds off of her shoes. This scared her. As she backed off, she was shouting “They’re hitting me with their peckers!”

When I was very young, maybe 3 or 4, I hated radishes (still do to this day). However, I knew I couldn’t tell my mom that I didn’t like that taste (because what kind of reason is that to not eat something. At least, that’s what I thought when I was very young) so when my mom asked me why I didn’t want to eat the radishes, I said the first thing that came into my mind. That happened to be, “Because they make your brain crunchy!” She never made me eat a radish again. :)

I love these stories :) I can’t wait until I have children who say rediculous things!

@Allie My sister told our dad on her 2nd birthday that she was “Two ears old!” and grabbed her ears. That’s what she thought our mom had been telling her all day.

@DrBill I love that your daughter didn’t actually say anything wrong per say… just a pure innocent comment. So cute.

My daughter pointed at a black man that was passing by us on the street and said, look it’s Obama.

When my son was younger we had a cat. The cat came home and his tail was injured about halfway down and was hanging by a thread. We brought the cat to the vet and the receptionist was getting all the information about the cat. (age, gender, etc). During the course of gathering the information she asked if the cat was ‘fixed’. My son replied, “No, he’s broken! That’s why we brought him here”.

I’m a bus monitor and work mostly with 5 year olds. One boy named Justin brought in a stuffed snake for show and tell a few weeks ago. While he was rough-housin’ with another little kid he goes “I’m gonna hit you in the face with my snake if you don’t stop!” Dude, I headgiggled so bad and was just like “Justin, you shouldn’t say things like that..it’s not very nice.” Oh deary me.

After watching Wayne’s World, I told my mom that I wanted to order the “Cream of Sum Yung Gai” when we were ordering Chinese carry out. After I said it, then it clicked. I was pretty embarassed. I was only around eight years old at the time, which goes to show that children do understand sex at an early age even if they don’t know the exact mechanics.

When my youngest was about 4, we went to Tampa Bay Beach. Everyone was playing in the water, and I noticed she suddenly stopped and just stood there frozen.

I shouted at her “Is something wrong?” She turned and looked at me with a puzzled face, then walked over to me and asked “If I were drowning, and Mother was drowning, which one of us would you save?”

From the way she said it, someone had to die. Luckily she was too young to have developed logic yet, so I told her “I would sacrifice myself and save you both.” She smiled, said “OK” and ran back to play in the water again.

When I was about 8, I used to watch Hogan’s Heroes. I thought all Germans went around saying ‘heil Hitler’. Having no clue what that meant or it’s implications, I thought it was a German greeting. As I had just discovered that I had some German heritage, I decided to try it out at my orthodontist’s office. The Doc and his receptionist/wife were Jewish. Learned a big lesson that day!

My two year old son told our pediatrician at a recent visit “I like beer.” (Really, he has heard me say that to him when I’ve had a beer, but still…)

Also, for some unclear reason, he has decided that the word “boobie” is both funny and a way to “insult” me. He says “you’re a boobie”, or “you big boobie.” Today, he decided to combine multiple phrases, and, while I was driving, said “I like big boobies…”. Its a wonder I didn’t crash the car….

My little brother in his anger one time said, “don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, and don’t LISTEN to me”.

When I was about 6 my family was at a sporting goods store. My brother kicked me right in the lady bits so I screamed, “MOMMY!! MY VAGINA HURTS!!” My mother came running up to me and said, “Sara, you can’t yell that.” So I whispered, “Mommy, my vagina hurts.”

This is a recent one: We were having sex with my girlfriend, thinking my daughter was asleep. So, after we’re done, she gets up and says: “daddy, I couldn’t sleep, you guys were kissing too loud!”

And one from over 3 decades ago: my mum (whom I used to embarrass all the time) says to a friend: “I was really meaning to call you. Really. I was just telling my son here about you how I wanted to call you”. And I say something like “no mum, you were just telling me what a bore she is and that you don’t want to call her”.

my niece who is 2 says “me drink BODka”

When I was little, for some reason I couldn’t say “roast beef.” I called it “frisbee.” (Huh?)

Is it a coincidence that now, as an adult, I am head-over-heels in love with Ultimate frisbee?

From my daughters:

One sister to another, “You are one weird potato.”

Same two sisters as young elementary school students, discussing in whispers all the bad words they know while in the bathtub, Sister 1 “and then there’s the F word” Sister 2 “what F word?” Sister 1(spelling it) “F-U-N-K.”

28 years ago I was nursing my daughter at a friends house. My friend happened to be babysitting a toddler aged brother and sister. The big brother was watching me with great curiosity. In those days, not a lot of mothers nursed so I figured he had never seen that before. I said. “I’m feeding the baby. Did you eat from bottles when you were little?”
He replied, “I ate from my mommy’s bottles, she has real BIG bottles!

My son at about 8 years old was a real “Dennis the Menace.” He was so cute it was hard to get mad at him but he could cause trouble!
One time me and his sisters were going on a camping trip. he had to go to the bathroom really bad so we saw an out house and stopped.
It seemed like he was in there forever! When he finally emerged I asked
“What happened, did you fall in?”
he replied “SHUT UP!
I have many Landon Potty stories, like the time he slammed the toilet seat down prematurely (OUCH!) then a few days later came running out bare bottomed when we had visitors, with equipment stretched outs yelling, “Do ya wanna see my Boo Boo?”

my 2 year old son says boobies all the time… particularly in the supermarket when we’re shopping and they’re right there in front of him… it’s incessant and soooo embarrassing… but he’s lovely…

About a week after having “the talk” with my daughter, we were shopping when I put a dozen eggs in the cart. She shivered making a weird noise. I asked what was wrong, when she announced she was not eating eggs anymore because she felt like a cannibal.

@Jack79 – Just curious, how many people were having sex with your girlfriend at the same time? :)

Just me, but she felt like it was more :P

good comeback. lurve for that :)

When I was a kid I (usually not very quietly) referred to all heavier people (male or female) as “look mom he/she is having a baby!”

When my son was young, about 4. He was into rhyming. He was rhyming words with stick. Stick, trick, pr…!! I busted up laughing. It wouldn’t have been so bad except for the policeman sitting in the car next to us, heard the whole thing, and started cracking up too. My son wanted to know what was so funny!

When I was in the 3rd grade, I was reading aloud from a social studies book and read the word “union” as “onion” and was corrected by the teacher. I have never forgotten it.

When I was in grade 2, Mrs. Peterson, my teacher, and I were in the library. It was during lunch time, and Mrs. Peterson told me how much she liked me as a student, saying that I was one of her best pupils, well-mannered and behaved, and would do anything for my classmates. I said “Thank you Mrs. Peterson”. Then she asked me “You would NEVER do ANYTHING bad to your fellow classmates, right?” Wanting to please Mrs. Peterson, I answered with a positive “Yes!”

She turned right around in her chair, looked at me with stunned eyes and said “WHAT??!!”

I realized my mistake and corrected myself “I mean NO!”

Mrs. Peterson looked relieved and sighed “Oh my, now that’s good!”

Heck, I was just 7! She was such a prude! Lol.

As an adult, my 4 year-old once shouted out “Daddy, your fly is open!!” at a formal occasion where there were a lot of people. Ugh..

I remember my son saying that if he never did anything wrong
he would never have any fun! And sure enough that was the
son that ended up testing my wits the most! Finally got him
to 25 and he settled down.

When my kids were little I taught them the proper names for their privates, but allowed them to translate any way they wanted.
One day, when my daughter was about 4, she was irritating me so I got her a big spoon and told her to go out back and dig a hole to China!
She looked at me, disbelieving and stunned. Just stunned. It was the strangest look I have ever seen from one so little.
Then she just turned around and walked away.
Finally it it him me….“China” was HER word for vagina! Poor child.