General Question

l2l2's avatar

If a boy doesnt talk to you after you rejected him what does it means?

Asked by l2l2 (27 points ) May 11th, 2009

what does it means that hes mad at me or what?
*just b/c i said no doesnt mean i dont want to be his friends.im upset about it now..=(

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42 Answers

shilolo's avatar

It means that he’s hurt/pissed off that you rejected him…Am I missing something?

3or4monsters's avatar

You rejected him. He owes you nothing. Leave him alone.

asmonet's avatar

That he’s been rejected.

nikipedia's avatar

What else do you want from him? I can only think of two possibilities:

1. You want to continue getting attention from him, even though you don’t want to reciprocate
2. You want to watch him be hurt and sad over you

I hope there’s a third one I’m missing….?

hug_of_war's avatar

If you reject someone you cannot expect that things will be the same

eponymoushipster's avatar

uhm, guys rarely want to be “just friends”. not necessarily sexual meaning here, but if he expresses an interest past “let’s watch spongebob”, and you rejected him, he probably isn’t your greatest fan right now.

and, from personal experience i can tell you, if you like someone and they tell you “no”, it can really hurt to be around them. back away slowly.

Dog's avatar

If you kick a dog do not expect it to come running to you when you call it.

l2l2's avatar

**********he ignores me and it makes me feel bad.im sorry if i rejected him but i didnt even know him that well

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Yeah guys are like that. I recommend you start getting used to it now.
Generally guys don’t want to be friends after a rejection.

eponymoushipster's avatar

@l2l2 perhaps you can have a mature chat with him. maybe he didn’t understand the reasons behind why you said “no”.

l2l2's avatar

yeah.but he could see me standing there and he would act like im not theres. does that mean hes mad at me or hurt?

eponymoushipster's avatar

@l2l2 both. write a nice letter or just forget about it and move on.

asmonet's avatar

Um, both.

Girly, you’re being ridiculous if you don’t think this is normal. How would you feel if you opened up to someone and you were shot down? It takes time. Just move on!

l2l2's avatar

i will move on.its just makes me sad b/c im not a mean person or anything like that and he was one of my friends and i guess b/c this he wont be anymore

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Wait it out. If he wants to still be friends, you’ll be friends.
If he doesn’t, you can’t do anything about that.

l2l2's avatar

yeah true!

nikipedia's avatar

Please try really hard to stop thinking about your own feelings and try to imagine how this dude must be feeling. (This works well for more situations than just this one.)

Dog's avatar

I agree with @nikipedia

l2l2's avatar

nikipedia what do you mean.How does he feel.like hurt or upset or angry or maybe all put together?

nikipedia's avatar

No no no. It’s your go. How do you think he feels?

l2l2's avatar

mad at me for saying no. and upset

tinyfaery's avatar

Wow. Fluther therapy.

nikipedia's avatar

I think you nailed it.

It sucks losing a friend, but you did the right thing by being honest.

asmonet's avatar

Fluther group hug?

tinyfaery's avatar

<<squeeze>>

l2l2's avatar

nikipedia thanks i really didnt mean it in a bad way.and thats what upsets me the most losing a friend over this.

nikipedia's avatar

Be careful of @asmonet‘s ribs!

asmonet's avatar

<<reciprocated.>>

asmonet's avatar

They’re delicate!! D:

asmonet's avatar

@l2l2: My ribs are el busted.

tinyfaery's avatar

<<side hug>>

eponymoushipster's avatar

and they’re delicious with bbq sauce.

DarkScribe's avatar

The rejection worked. You were successful.

Or did you mean refuse him something? Rejection usually means to spurn someone.

izzyrockz's avatar

Well guys are like that.
I’ve been through that. They hate being rejected and when they do get rejected they don’t want to be your friend anymore. Don’t feel bad about it. Is not your fault, no one can force you to do something you don’t want to do. Guys that react that way are jerks. It was better off without him. So don’t feel bad, live your life. He will eventually move on. Like seriously think about it, guys get over this kind of stuff pretty fast.

shilolo's avatar

@izzyrockz Wait, how is it that “Guys that react that way are jerks.”? I don’t know a single person, male or female that reacts to rejection with a smile, a laugh, and a “sure, let’s just hang out mentality”. Maybe this guy has really strong feelings for her, and is devastated? I think most people can relate to being rejected, and not wanting to face that person again. Sometimes you are the rejector, and other times, the reject.

izzyrockz's avatar

Well @shilolo all the guys that I’ve seen rejected either never talk to you again. Then they come up to us girls acting like jerks. To be honest I’ve never been rejected, but I’ve seened it before. Females deal with it guys don’t . And you know it. Like alright you won’t walk away with a smile when you get rejected, but when it comes to guys the next day they act like they don’t know you and pass right by you without saying a word. If I was to gett rejected yea ill be sad but. Common now I can’t force nobody to like me.

aidje's avatar

@izzyrockz I’m going to have to disagree with your statement that “guys get over this kind of stuff pretty fast”. It depends on the guy and it depends on the situation. It’ll be different every time. As for your statement that “the next day they act like they don’t know you”, that could very well be their way of dealing with the fact that they’re not over it. Also, I’ve seen girls take some time, too. You can’t just assume that everyone of like gender will act the same.

aeschylus's avatar

@I2I2: It sounds like you need to get some perspective. I recommend spending a year or two around educated and thoughtful adults while you learn to do something useful and interesting to you, like programming a computer, gardening, carpentry or sewing or something. If your parents and their friends don’t seem particularly well-educated or thoughtful, try hanging out at a local university. Go to some of the classes and talk to the professors.

Observe the behaviour of your class-mates in school and compare their behaviour with that of the adults in your life. Are your class-mates behaving according to reason and self-consciousness, or from impulse and passion? Even more than seeing the situation from his perspective, try to see the whole situation between the two of you from the point of view of a dis-interested third party observer. What do you mean when you say he was your “friend?” What do you expect from a friend and why do you have that understanding of the notion of a friend?

I think reflecting on these questions and being critically observant of your social environment will give you a greater perspective on the situation and help you mature beyond these petty concerns. I mean this with great affection and goodwill. I hope this is helpful.

dynamicduo's avatar

It means he’s feeling hurt and rejected. Give him some time to heal himself, let him come back to you, or you can take one more chance at talking with him but not for a month or so to give him time to get grounded.

Some guys get over this fast. Some guys don’t. Everyone is different. There is no guaranteed way a person will behave in Situation X or Situation Y. It’s very worthwhile to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they feel, which I see you have already done.

I once professed my like for a long term male friend, and the rejection made our relationship very awkward. Luckily I have the memory of a goldfish, so after a year we were able to get back together as friends with no drama. So it can be done. Does this mean it’ll happen in your situation? Well that depends on what type of people you both are, and how well you play your cards.

Emerald's avatar

It depends on the guy and it
depends on the situation. It’ll be different every
time N.E.C

ETpro's avatar

@Emerald Welcome to Fluther. And you’re off to a good start with a great answer.

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