Can you visit an elderly person?

Would Saturday be ok? We’re having my husband’s dad (who recently lost his wife) over for dinner. We worry about him getting lonely these days.

Saturday is GREAT!I do think it takes little effort to do this and apart from the great conversations the elderly offer,it’s good for the soul.

We love visiting our neighbor (the nice one). She is elderly and has he best stories. Her health is starting to fail, so we try to stop in more often, and on random days.

Not to kill your enthusiasm, but if you’re talking about visiting a stranger, you should probably coordinate your visit with a social agency. Not everyone’s motives are pure, and if some guy showed up at my door wanting to “chat” on a Sunday afternoon, or whenever, I’d be suspect. And considering how often the elderly are targetted by criminals, it’s better to proceed with caution.

@PapaLeo well can we visit the people we know.

Well . . . of . . . course . . . I’m having trouble gauging the nature of your question. Unless you’re being true to your moniker ;-)

There lies the dilemma.

We live in one of those “old” neighborhoods, that’s filled with mostly elderly people. We had one man, who was 93 or so, and he was wonderful. My mom’s best friend. Sadly though, he passed away, but we still have one on the other side of us, a rather ornery woman in her eighties. She’s horribly unpleasant, and alone. Frank, the 93 year old man would always tell me when I was little that that’s what would happen to me if I spent my life being bitter and mean. Now that her health is failing, she has nobody to take care of her. She hates kids, so she never had any, and she never married. So yes, I can visit an elderly person this Sunday… if I want to spend some time being told to clean and to not touch anything and why don’t I be quiet while she watches her stories and stop touching that freaky stuffed animal collection she has in her living room.

@electricsky ever thought why this lady is like this?Maybe you could be the one who she confides in and maybe you could be the one to set her free from this bitterness before she dies.

@troll: I’ve tried. My mother has tried. Frank tried. Most of our neighbors tried. She has almost openly refused to let anyone be close to her in any way. And I’ve tried to think of why she might be like this, but I honestly can’t come up with anything. Frank was actually a family friend of hers, and he’s known her most of her life, and as far as he knew nothing that bad had ever happened to her, and she was always like this.

My in-laws are elderly (72 & 82) and we care for them multiple times per week. Does this count?

Unfortunately, they refuse to give up their multi-floor house. When we added a second floor to my house a few years back, we drew up plans for a second, single story addition to be added on the side of my house. They would have their own entrance and all the amenities they needed.

But, alas, they are stubborn.

You do not just have to visit them once a week. ANY older people you see, just wave to them or if close enough smile and say hi. Opn a door for them. Anything that you would want someone to do for YOUR grandparents try to do for every older person you meet. They really appreciate the attention (once they get past trying to find out why someone is being nice to them) and can become friends and a real source of information.

@electricsky She may have some type of undiagnosed mental illness or personality disorder that has been with her for years that has gone unrecognized or not severe enough for treatment. Knowledge of these disorders was extremely limited years ago when she was younger.

I see my husband multiple times a day and give him his meds, make him eat, and so on. He is older than I am, disabled, and sleeps much of the day so sometimes he seems to be about 90. Does that count?

@Darwin, yes, that counts. Blessings to you and your husband.

@ptarnbsn: Trust me, this is just how she is. Frank even told me that she was unpleasant when she was a child (he was quite a bit older than her, so he’d remember well.)

@electricsky Could still be a personality disorder.

@ptarnbsn: Why is it so difficult to believe that someone just isn’t a nice person? We meet mean or unpleasant people constantly, but why do we always think that they’ll get nicer with age? I’ve known plenty of elderly people who were downright nasty, and I really doubt all of them had some sort of personality disorder.

I think he’s just saying you shouldn’t rule a personality disorder out just because there are people who aren’t nice yet do not have a personality disorder.

I visit my mother every Sunday, unless I’m out of town. She’ll be 90 next month.

@electricsky @Vincentt Oh, I know and understand what he is trying to say. I’m just giving her the benefit of the doubt and especially since he mentioned she was like that since childhood. I know there are plenty of people who just aren’t nice but many times as children that trait isn’t there. Who knows? It was just a thought I was throwing out there for others to ponder and consider.

So it’s Sunday,did you visit an Oldie?

@ptarnbsn – heh, I was explaining to @electricsky what I thought you were trying to say ;-)

Father-in-law did come over last night. We had a great dinner and spent a pleasant few hours together. :)

Good stuff,we had Dad for dinner(a bit tough but what would you expect he is 83)and a Great time was had by all.

@Vincentt LOL! That’s the 2nd time today I’ve been a dunce. The “he” part threw me off…I’m a her. LOL

Ah, sorry, I’m too lazy to type he/she when I see an ambiguous username :)