Logic or emotions...what to follow when my heart hurts?

Logic.

“Because he couldn’t choose”
He most likely won’t be able to choose now, or ever, so you shouldn’t choose him.

If he’s still trying to talk to you, I’d just call that ______ (removed by self before moderators remove it)

it’s asking for trouble if you do.

I would trust my logic in your situation. If he cheats or if he leaves his girlfriend for you it says he will always be looking for someone better

“If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you”

This is not an honest person. Stay away, if you know what’s good for you.

If he heart/broke your heart you shouldn’t follow it.

same as @Facade plus he says he’s unhappy with his current girlfriend? If it were true, I don’t see any reason why he’s still with her.

He is not whom he appears to be.

He is not what he appears to be.

He is not torn or confused.

He knows exactly what he wants and he has it:
A girlfriend and a naive gal in the wings just in case the girlfriend figures him out and dumps him.

The real question is why you were not so outraged at his deception that you slammed the door on him.

Don’t you realize that you deserve so much better?

What Dog said.

Besides, what your bonding with isn’t really him either. It is who he is when he is getting what he wants that he isn’t getting with his other girlfriend. You don’t know if you would be the answer to his “quest” if you were his only girl.

What your guy is doing is so typical of what some married men do. The old “I’m going to get a divorce” song, or the “my wife doesn’t understand me – I am so much more comfortable with you” song. Remember, he is perfectly capable of making a decision, and of ending it with this other girl if he wanted to. Listen to Dog, he is SO right!! This dude will string you along for as long as you are willing to play. He will NEVER change, not ever. Not even if he marries this other girl.

Taking the question out of this context, it’s a question I ask myself at least 5 or 6 times a month.

In this situation though I think your answer is cut and dry. You should let the fact that he deceived you and still seeing his girl be all of the motivation you need to move on and find something better.

Logic, but thern logic gets it’s ass kicked by emotion.

One of my biggest pet peeves are men who promise over and over that they’re going to leave their girlfriend or wife to be with you but hasn’t made the move yet. First off, if he was THAT unhappy with his girlfriend he should have left her already. Simple. He should have broken things off. There is no excuse. Something is holding him back. Second of all, if he did this to his current girlfriend, he’ll do it to you. History always repeats itself. I don’t mean to be so blunt or cold hearted but I’m trying to warn you before you invest too many feelings into this “relationship”. You will get hurt in the end. I know how tempting it is to want to believe someone can change and that you’ll be the one to do it. Unfortunately the person has to WANT to change. And I can already tell this guy isn’t going to be that guy. Plain and simple, if he wanted to be with you he would’ve broken things off with this other girl. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Don’t stand for it.

I was so happy with my girlfriend then she lead me to believe she was cheating, Under stress and heart ache I followed and played her game and saw this person behind her back, we did get along like we knew each other all are lives very nice and even more so rare. I chose My girlfriend because i was in love with her and had altered my life to be with her. I still am happy with her yet she throws this mistake in my face every week. It was a one time thing, and a mistake I am not that person and never was. I still dont know why I did it it gave me nothing but heart ache. BKsteve saw me when I was at my worse It hurt Inside I have a concious a big one. Now she has found this blog and has tossed it in my face as if Im doing something new. This is total bologna! I cheated it was wrong I chose who I love I didnt mean to hurt anyone, I was suffering a great loss at this time but that wont be in here either. I was confused and lost, And I thought my GF was doing the same It wasnt till later I found out different.

ahem BS ahem tell some one you did nothing and he cheats choose not to believe her you cheat..no respect GKY

no not at all

Wow…this is incredible…i put this blog up here to get some sound advice (and maybe a little kick in the rear for thinking the way i do), and this guy FINDS ME….i didn’t even know he was on flutter, until his girlfriend (yup, still) emailed me about my post and i saw his responses tonight (but yet he thinks i put this up here to toss it in his face).

Still says he loves her, still trying to make that work, but still trying to talk to me in September.

I got the point, thank you everyone for your responses…i’ve been really thinking about this lately, and logging on tonight helped.

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