Should my man's talking to himself be of concern?

Sounds like his coping mechanism for stress.
Tell him it worrys you, but keep in mind it is probably keeping him sane and controled.

He may be schizophrenic and it’s something that should be looked into. If it’s just random words, maybe not. But if it sounds like he’s actually having a conversation with another person, he very well might be.

Has he just started doing this or is it possible he was doing it to a lesser degree all along and you were unaware of it?

Have you asked him about it and told him why it upsets you?

My guess would be that it’s his way of relieving stress wich doesn’t harm anyone..I’m going to assume that he is fully aware that he is doing this and is aware that you hear him and isn’t in some sort of altered state?

I can certainly think of worse ways to relieve stress.

Well, I see that filmfann types faster than I do.

I would just tell him it worries you, ask if he’s been stressed, if he is, maybe take some time away once the baby get’s better, let your rents watch the kids for a night or two, go out to a nice restaurant etc.

I have to be honest, it sounds to me like he may be suffering from a type of mental illness like schizophrenia.

As others have queried, is he aware that he is doing it?

A man who works in a cubicle near me does this. It’s always spoken angrily. He’ll rave on and on about something, exclaiming, muttering, swearing, raising his voice: “Oh, shit. Incredible. Oh, this is a nightmare. I can’t believe this. Damn. What stupid idiots. Bullshit.” etc. I find it very disturbing that someone who works near me has such angry outbursts all the time and that he seems unaware that this is inappropriate behavior. Sometimes it goes on for 15 or 20 minutes.

I don’t think anyone hears this but me. Everyone else in the department seems to think he is wonderful. He has just been promoted to a people manager. His anger alarms me because it seems out of control, and I am so grateful that I will never have to report to him.

So—I have no help or explanation or advice to offer. I’m just saying that I understand how distressing it can be to listen to this, and I’d find it upsetting too if this were my husband.

I’d also be a trifle concerned about what the babies’ first words were going to be.

He seems aware he is doing it, he once said“oh-I’m sorry” (????) But he has also said he never “said anything”
I believe he is aware of it

@myangelmdsn I really don’t think it’s a hardcore mental illness like mentioned, he may have just told you he didn’t say anything because he knows talking to himself is a little strange, or he was venting on something he didn’t want you to know about.

like I said earlier, I think the best thing to do right now, before the idea of a more serious, and less common illness, is to display your concern to him in a non pressuring way (if he’s suffering from high stress or depression he may be likely to snap at you if he feels cornered, judged or threatened, so be very gentle and supportive), if he tells you he has been a little stressed out lately, or been feeling a bit down, get some alone time from the kiddies ( we all understand how stressful raising a child can be) and do something nice for him, maybe do something together that he’s always wanted to do, or go to a bed and breakfast in a nice area near home for a couple nights, something like that. If it is stress or depression, you should see him perk up a bit when you separate him from whatever is causing it in his daily life.

If he remains largely unchanged during the time away or in the days following, approach him with the thought of counseling, and remind him that counseling is not saying he’s not a good person, just that you think a place where he could talk about things that bother him may do him good.

I really do want to display that I don’t think it would be a wise decision to assume it was something as serious as schizophrenia on your own without seeking the advice of a professional.

You say he’s having “conversations”. Do you mean he’s “hearing” someone actually talk to him? Then that IS serious.

But if he’s giving one way “lectures” to imaginary people, I wouldn’t worry. We all think out loud and/or “practice”. Is he really talking to himself, or is he acting out what he really wants to say, to YOU?

He may also be rehearsing “talking” to a friend or relative about a problem, i.e., someone he’d LIKE to tell.

A LOT of people talk to God a lot and that’s normal. Only a small number of people say He (literally) talks back, and that’s usually NOT.

As long as he isn’t hearing voices of nonexistent entities and replying to them, I don’t think you have to worry about schizophrenia.

Obviously he must be under a lot of stress and people respond to stress in different ways. Some people pick fights (both physical and verbal) with their SOs, some people go jogging or workout, some people punch the walls or throw things, others take drugs. Everybody is different.

I understand how this is disconcerting for you, but I assume you would prefer this over him yelling at you, right? Maybe you could pick a calm time (when he isn’t doing any of this) and have a conversation with him. Reassure him that you know he isn’t crazy, (that’s prob why he denied saying anything) and that you just want to have a conversation about it. Maybe suggest some type of workout or physical alternative. Or, perhaps seeing a therapist, or maybe just muttering rather than being so loud and frightening you?

Just be aware that if he just stops doing it and doesn’t find a replacement way of stress release, it will come out one way or another or perhaps produce illness. Just total repression is only a temporary fix but damaging for the long run. He may stop this coping behavior just to please you, but if an alternative isn’t found it isn’t good for either of youl.

You have to decide how badly this bothers you and what type of response you can live with. If it were me, (as long as I knew that he wasn’t crazy) I would be ok with him going into another room and closing the door while I crank up the music where I am, but that’s just me.

Anybody else remember back in the late 70s or 80s when that band “Tears for Fears” popularized scream therapy? That’s what first came to mind when I initially read this question.

BTW Sorry if i’ve repeated what others have already said, but when I first wrote this (about 2 hrs. ago) it wouldn’t let me post it and there was some cryptic notice about my answer being edited cuz it didn’t follow Fluther guidelines—huh? Anyhow, I gave up in disgust, went elsewhere and figured i’d try it again now. Well, will miracles never cease.

I spend a lot of time talking to myself. I like to think out loud, and sometimes, it is a way for me to deal with stress. Of course, all those years driving a truck has given me that particular habit.

It’s not like I’m havingh a conversation with an imaginary person, I mean, I don’t stop or pause to hear the invisible person’s response, it’s just that my internal dialogue is sometimes external.

Like I’ve told people in the past If me talking to myself is the craziest thing you ever see me do, consider yourself lucky. =)

@evelyns_pet_zebra I talk to myself a lot too. Its more like talking to an invisible person, rather than myself. I don’t wait for pauses or anything. I think talking to myself is more like saying “Nice job” when I spill a glass of water, but when I’m just talking to well, no one really, I’ll talk about my cats, games I adore… whatever happens to cross my mind, I’ll just talk about it. I know I’m doing it, but I enjoy it, and it helps keep me alert when I’m driving. I don’t usually talk out loud about things that make me mad besides a little comment (“Nice blinker, jerk”).

I don’t honestly know if it bothers people, because I usually do it when I’m alone (usually I’m doing something like driving, cleaning, cooking, showering, etc).

From what you wrote it sounds like he’s just thinking out loud…
sometimes you don’t even know it until someone points out that your doing it…

It may be a schizophrenic symptom: from what you have wrote I don’t think it is

“Symptoms of schizophrenia

Schizophrenia often starts slowly. When the symptoms first appear, usually in adolescence or early adulthood, they may seem more bewildering than serious.

In the early stages, people with schizophrenia may find themselves losing the ability to relax, concentrate or sleep. They may start to shut long-time friends out of their lives. Work or school begins to suffer; so does their personal appearance. During this time, there may be one or more episodes where they talk in ways that may be difficult to understand and/or start having unusual perceptions.

Once it has taken hold, schizophrenia tends to appear in cycles of remission and relapse.

When in remission, a person with schizophrenia may seem relatively unaffected and can more or less function in society. During relapse, however, it is a different story. People with schizophrenia may experience one or all of these main conditions:

*
delusions and/or hallucinations,
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lack of motivation,
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social withdrawal,
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thought disorders.

Delusions are false beliefs that have no basis in reality. People with schizophrenia may think, for example, that someone is spying on them, listening to their thoughts, or placing thoughts in their minds.

Hallucinations most often consist of hearing voices that comment on behaviour, are insulting or give commands. Less often, people with schizophrenia may see or feel things that aren’t there.

Disorganized thinking makes some people with schizophrenia feel mixed up. In conversation, they may jump randomly from one unrelated topic to another. Depression and anxiety frequently accompany these feelings.

The symptoms of schizophrenia vary greatly from person to person, from mild to severe. A specialist is needed to make the diagnosis, especially because there are no diagnostic tests.”
Ref: http://www.cmha.ca/BINS/content_page.asp?cid=3-100

My husband is also talk’s to himself as if he is in rage or upset about something, sweerring and what not this happens every day, and then he would laugh and sometimes he would giggle, this happens when he is alone. I worry about him seriously, he is a Vietnam veteran and hw was in the middle of it all

My adult son talks to himself and it worries me because he talks to himself in the company of other people. I have wondered if he is schizophrenic. I have asked him if he hears voices and he says no. I’ve told me that it is awkward and people will judge him harshly because of it and he says he doesn’t care that those people don’t have to associate with him. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with it if you do it in private while you are alone. I think if other people can hear you, it seems awkward and abnormal. I think even talking to a cat or a dog seems more normal that talking to non-existent people.