Social Question

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

How can I be popular in High School?

Asked by IHateChunkyPies (50 points ) October 21st, 2009

I know how this sounds but please read all the details. I came from an elementary school where I was considered “cool” and it was nice. I’m pretty shy so it took me a while to get “there” and I think I’m pretty mature for my age. I’m not going to lie but being popular at school is the best. Great friends, good grades, it was awesome.

I felt a bit different from others. I wanted to show that you didn’t have to do drugs or be a douche bag to be popular and I was able to do this in elementary school. I felt like a redefined “popular.” I wanted to be a sort of role model maybe. I want to do this in high school too.

Unfortunately this year I had to go to a new high school where I didn’t know anybody. I am pretty shy so it’s kind of hard for me to meet new people easily. I don’t know what to do. This question may sound silly but I feel like I can really do something. I want to get in with the “cool” kids again. Does anyone know what I can do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this question.

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30 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

Just be yourself. If it takes more than that to be popular, being popular isn’t worth it.

gailcalled's avatar

^^Floss your teeth before you answer, Poof.

Sarcasm's avatar

It’s certainly illegal, but if you provide alcohol and weed, the “cool” kids will love you. ..So long as the supply continues.

poofandmook's avatar

I flossed when I got home from work

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

@Sarcasm I don’t want to chose to those kinds of options. I don’t want to get in with the cool kids just to be cool. Please read all my details.

poofandmook's avatar

Oh, and aside from being yourself and not changing to meet the needs of the “cool” kids.. radiate confidence. That should be the only thing you change about yourself in this situation… your confidence.

Ansible1's avatar

Find the biggest D-bag in school and find a way to humiliate him….or just kick his ass

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

@Ansible1 I hope you were joking.. I don’t want to be a douche bag.

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

@poofandmook Thanks for the answer.

Beta_Orionis's avatar

@Sarcasm is aptly named

I think @poofandmook said it best. All you can really do is be yourself. You don’t sound as though you’d enjoy being cool if you had to compromise your genuine qualities. Stick to the path you know is right for you and you will make excellent friends with similar life-goals, and interests. Amongst them, you will certainly be cool.

Also, welcome to Fluther!

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Stop concerning yourself with popularity. Do what’s important to you and your values.
Few are less popular than those trying to be popular.

gailcalled's avatar

@IHateChunkyPies: Ignore the silly answers. It is early days yet since you are in a new school. Listen, pay attention, and see where you would like to be. The word “cooL” means so many things now, it is really meaningless.

If you are a good student and like to learn, you will find others with similar interests and aptitudes. Get to know and trust yourself; it is a skill that will hold you in good stead all your life. You can’t please and be liked by everyone.

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

@gailcalled Thanks for the answer. I just want to get in with them so I can change this mentality that you need to be stupid to be cool (school does rock though when you are). I just don’t know how to get over my shyness. Grr

gailcalled's avatar

@IHateChunkyPies: What are you interested in (or good in) besides academics? Music, sports, debating, acting, chess, computers, art?

Are you in seventh grade in a middle school or in HS?

Parrappa's avatar

Funny thing, I was just thinking about something like this today. Although it was kind of the opposite. I’m in 10th grade, a lot of friends, and I realized I don’t care about popularity. I only care about being an excellent student and making something out of my life. I’ve got plenty of friends, why do I need more?

PandoraBoxx's avatar

The people that I knew in high school who were really popular and everyone liked, were nice to everyone. They spoke to everyone, used people’s names, were always pleasant, always had something nice to say. They were involved with things at school in a big way.

That being said, high school is 4 years, and within a year of graduation, only one or two of those people will even matter at all.

J0E's avatar

After reading the details I think you are already cool.

Darwin's avatar

Go get a copy of Queen Bees and Wannabes and read it. It will help you understand how high school works.

My daughter is very popular at school, for precisely the reasons listed by @PandoraBoxx. She is smart and gets good grades but is always willing to tutor others. She is very active in school sports, school clubs, and school pep rallies. She knows everyone’s name and always says “Hi.” She remembers what people like and makes a point of saying or doing something that will make them realize that she knows them and likes them. She is a jock, and a nerd, and a socialite, and a Jesus Freak all at once, and has both male and female friends, but no steady “boyfriend.” She goes to every school dance and every football game, and many other sports activities, and cheers the players on by name. She claims she is shy, but you sure can’t tell.

She is not, however, “cool.” The so-called “cool” kids in high school tend to figure out ways to drink alcohol, smoke tobacco or weed, and how to sneak stuff out of stores.

skfinkel's avatar

Spend time being interested in others. In high school, just about everyone is obsessed with themselves, how they look, appear to others, etc. no one is really looking at what is going on with others. If you can genuinely step out of that paradigm, it might serve you well.

DominicX's avatar

Part of the problem with the concept of being popular in high school is the way people try to be popular. Trying to be popular shouldn’t take anything away from your normal personality. People don’t like people who try too hard or are phony. Popularity may come to you if you are a likable person. That’s what being popular means, after all. Yes, I was popular in middle and high school, not going to lie; just the way it was. Part of it had to do with becoming friends with the pre-existing “popular kids” early on, but that just made me part of the group, it didn’t make me “popular”. I became that way (knowing lots of people, having lots of people like me) because I was a friendly/nice person who reached out to other people, got good grades (well, I like to think that was part of it), liked to have fun and get to know other people, etc. Popularity isn’t a passive act unfortunately. You do have to do stuff; you have to show other people that you’re a person they’d like to be around. Being mean, starting drama, ignoring people, being awkward, those are things that are going to make people want to avoid you. But being kind, being intelligent, being interesting, being fun, being a good listener, those are going to make people want to be around you more.

Since you’re going to a new school, it’s important to make yourself available early on. Go to events, join clubs, talk to classmates, get involved right off the bat. That will make it easier to have more friends early on. I wouldn’t worry too much about how popular you are. I’d be more concerned with making sure you make good friends that want to be around you and whom you want to be around. “Popular” could be a side effect, but it isn’t everything. Thinking about it too much is not going to help anything.

Graduated from high school in 2009. I’m 18.

peedub's avatar

Ultimately, I say be yourself and don’t worry about that crap. If you are really bent on it:

Emulate Matt Dillon’s character in Over The Edge.

SpatzieLover's avatar

My shy best-friend had to be “new” as a Soph HS when her family moved. She went for Class Prez, won & was the queen of popularity (she’s also brilliant, so there was no more “stupid cool” allowed in the pop clique)

drdoombot's avatar

High school is a completely different ball game than elementary school. Whatever passed before won’t pass now, because definitions of cool change as you get older.

Popularity is overrated anyways. Why have lots of friends you only “kinda” know than a handful of really good friends you know inside and out? I know it’s hard to understand at your age, but once you get older, you’ll realize how silly all of your high school concerns were because they don’t affect the rest of your life. I was valedictorian and now I’m unemployed. The really dumb guys I used to help with their biology and chemistry homework are now physical therapists and pharmacists, making more money per year than I’ve made in my lifetime (so far). You never know where life will take you, so the most important thing is to enjoy yourself wherever you happen to be right now.

jackm's avatar

in the words of lil wayne fuck bitches get money.

filmfann's avatar

You didn’t mention what gender you are, so this is non-specific.
Pick out one of the cool kids, get to know them, and ask them out.
If you are friends, or dating, they will instinctively try to incorporate you with the cool kids.
And welcome to Fluther. Lurve.

ruk_d's avatar

I believe the best way to be popular is to be yourself. Although, this may not gurauntee poopularity. But i promise that people will know who you are if you state your opinion. The friends that you will make from being yourself will be loyal and respectful. you’re popularity among them will be a secure one vesus the ones that don’t appreciate your honesty…. But if you want to be popular with the majority i suggest sleep with the prettiest girls, dump them,and get blowed with everybody. Also it helps if at a point in time you do something really outrageous like dropping tampons in the school hallways. Be as funny as possible and be everybody’s best friend, especially to the people you don’t like. i swear it works.

IHateChunkyPies's avatar

Thank you everyone for your great answers. I appreciate it.

@filmfann I am a boy.
@gailcalled I just started grade 9 now and I’m not the best at sports but I love technology, design and I’m good at art.
@Darwin alright I’ll check it out thanks!

wundayatta's avatar

I’m not sure that wanting to be popular is looking at it the right way. What does popularity mean to you? I would look at that, and identify the facets of popularity that are most important to me, and then think about how to achieve each of those goals.

If you want to have a lot of friends, then be a friend.
If you want a lot of people to know you, then participate in a lot of activities, and always be kind to everyone.
If you want people to think you’re cool, then you could make yourself into whatever is cool these days—clothes? Taste in music? Attitude?

But I think that’s the wrong way around. You can’t make yourself cool. It’s something other people decide about you. All you can do is be passionate about whatever you are passionate about. Really get into what you like, and try to share it with others. Organize activities to help others get to know the things you like. You become cool or you don’t. You can’t make it happen unless you want to sell your soul, and if that’s the price of popularity—do you still want it?

If you want to be famous, then run for student government, or become captain of some team. But again, that’s not the kind of thing you have control over.

Anyway, I think you should really look closely at what “popularity” means to you, and then take little steps to achieve those goals. Popularity will come along, or it won’t. I wouldn’t get hung up on it.

vicnav's avatar

If you can do these things you will be popular.

Talk to and be friends with everyone, mostly popular cool people.
Learn how to hold your beer in.
Learn how to cook
Learn how to dance
Get in shape
Get a car
Plan your life out early
Get a Girlfriend.

That’s just a sample of what you can do.

EmptyNest's avatar

Since you don’t know anyone there, be careful. The cool kids may be assholes! Be yourself. If you try to hard, it could backfire. Join clubs you’re interested in. Above all, stay true to yourself, don’t let anyone change you. I know being popular is great. But keep your self respect and stick to your convictions. It may take awhile but the idea is that they want to be friends with you, and not the other way around. Good luck! :-)

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